Everything that is human: Sofia Andrukhovych’s Intimate Diary of Ukraine in the Midst of War

“When a Polish magazine asked me to tell the daily life of Ukrainians, I understood that writing had become a therapeutic remedy. So I collected several texts, all linked to each other in a certain way “, says the writer. From absurd situations to episodes of unspeakable suffering, the lives of Ukrainians unfold through the eyes of Sofia Andrukhovych, who confides her fears and her hopes for the future of her country.

L’Express: Tell us about your first days of war.

Sofia Andrukhovych: It was completely chaotic and unexpected for me, and for everyone in Ukraine. No one expected something like this to happen in our time, in the modern world. And then everyone began to live with it, with different stages of transformations and changes in their lives, of reactions to pain and suffering.

Do you think that Ukraine is still in a state of astonishment today?

No. I think the state of shock lasted two months. Now it’s quite sad how people have become accustomed to war, which is a very unnatural state. For example, most Ukrainians no longer rush to shelters when warning sirens sound before bombings. It’s as if our minds are trying to hide the fear in which we are collectively plunged. We are past the state of shock, but we are still in a state of trauma. Today, although many things allow us to forget the war in Ukraine, we still cannot forget it completely.

How can Ukraine recover from this trauma?

This is a difficult question, because, in reality, the history of Ukraine has unfolded in such a way that many people have not yet even recovered from the trauma caused by the Second World War. The Soviet occupation forbade people to externalize their memories, to speak and to evoke in their own families the repressions they had suffered. On the independence of Ukraine [en 1991], speech certainly became freer, but very quickly the events of 2014 occurred, the Maidan revolution, the annexation of Crimea, then the start of the war in Donbass. Now, because of the large-scale invasion, people are accumulating new trauma. It’s as if Ukrainians pass them down from generation to generation. However, we are now in an independent state and, therefore, we are better prepared to overcome this. Writing and naming things helps you explain them. Later, we will need art and research to explore these events more deeply.

How do you view the media coverage of the war in Ukraine?

The possibility that social networks provide is sometimes problematic, even dangerous, because information and images are often manipulated there. Furthermore, in Ukraine, there is a real exploitation of people’s suffering. Sometimes, it even becomes an object of marketing: in stores T-shirts or mugs are sold with strong words, connected to war, death, mourning. It’s absurd.

How does Ukrainian society form a people, when it is sharply divided between the front and the rear?

This is a big debate at the moment in Ukraine, and it is certainly a good thing to talk about it openly. When, for example, soldiers return to kyiv or other western cities of Ukraine, they see a festive and happy life. This gap is difficult for them to manage as they are confronted with horrors on the front. This can create tensions and misunderstandings between people, but, at the same time, it is very important to maintain this festive life in cities that are not subject to constant bombing. This allows Ukrainians to preserve a form of normality and plan for the future. I hope that Ukrainian society will be mature enough to integrate both people who fought or had difficult experiences and those who stayed behind living an almost normal life.

There are also tensions between civilians who left Ukraine after February 2022 and those who remained. The former often feel very strong guilt. I personally know this feeling, which is irrational, because, being only a civilian, I am not capable of doing anything useful for my country by staying there. I try to transform this guilt into something productive for my country: writing.

After the aggression and crimes committed by the Russians, what place should be given to those of’between them who oppose Putin?

For Ukrainians, it’s really complicated to listen to the Russian people, even the side that opposes Putin. Very often, Ukrainian writers and artists refuse to participate in events where Russians are invited. This may seem illogical, but it is part of our way of expressing our pain and anger, and of showing that we have nothing in common with them. Of course, Russians in the democratic and liberal opposition must continue to organize against Putin, it is even their duty. But Ukrainians have much more complicated problems, related to their society and themselves. We have been forced to deal with Russian culture and imperialism for so long that the time has come to find our own space and identity, and fully focus on our future in Europe.

Are the Ukrainians aware that the war will be long?

From what I have observed and felt, I think that Ukrainian society has prepared itself for this war to last. In fact, I think we have always been subconsciously ready for this, given that we are neighbors with Russia. The Baltic countries and Poland also know something about it.

Putin and his regime have been betting on a long war from the start, because they are counting on the weakening of Western support for Ukraine. With the conflict in the Middle East, attention to Ukraine is already diminishing. Russia’s aggression once again proves that it has only reheated “frozen conflicts” in the world. The conflict in the Middle East is certainly very old, but I think that the war in Ukraine was also a kind of fuel to reignite this disorder and these atrocities. I hope that Europe and the world are aware of this, and that the West will persist in their fight against Putin’s Russia.

How do you see the future of Ukraine in the coming years?

It’s complicated to imagine, because I see the complexity of the situation, first economic, then demographic, given that many Ukrainians have left the country and some of them will not return. The younger generation has left, and those who remain are subject to deep trauma.

There will be no easy way to live in peace, it will even be even harder in some respects as we will have to face a large number of situations which probably cannot be resolved at all. Now Ukraine has gained a sense of freedom and a sense of its identity and place in the world. And the cause for which Ukrainians are fighting has become obvious to everyone: building a dignified, democratic state where everyone is safe.

* Everything that is human, by Sofia Andrukhovych. Trad. de l’ukrainien par Iryna Dmytrychyn. Bayard, 176 p., €16.