It’s been 28 days since I was physically separated from him after my divorce. After sending my second dog over the rainbow bridge due to a sudden illness, I was lying down in a daze and suddenly turned on Road View. I wanted to go down the path I walked with my dog before returning to my parents’ house, and relive the precious times I missed so much. Was it because I was alone for the first time in about ten years, or was it because I had the humorous relief of not having anyone to keep up with? Suddenly, I started looking at his movements through street view and was able to find something in common. These were gambling-related facilities(?) all over the place. I usually didn’t notice it at all, but now that I’m away, it’s clearly noticeable. Life is so ironic.
I asked him several times in the meantime if he had gambled, but he said no. Rather than suspecting gambling, it was because the debt, which was large compared to the scale of the business, was not explained. I felt like there was more to it than just business, whether it was women, gambling, or fraud, so the puzzle of the case would fit. If I had known anything about gambling, I would have suspected it, but because I was completely ignorant, I didn’t even notice. Also, it was impossible to sit down and interrogate someone who was usually struggling. He was so distressed that he couldn’t properly inquire about how the debt was being used for fear of taking extreme action.
That very day, after consulting with a specialized organization called ‘Korea Gambling Prevention and Healing Center’ (No. 1336), it seemed like he was addicted to gambling. He said that it is also common for families to be deceived for such a long period of time. Because the biggest characteristic of a gambling addict is lying. My intuition, the circumstances, and the counselor’s opinion all agree. He hid it from me until the end, but I think he took a gamble. Before I could shake off the sadness of losing my dog, something new and stronger was thrown at me.
ah… If you do this, the story will be completely different… I’m really in trouble… Still, I believed and tried to believe… If it had been a gambling debt rather than a business debt, my relationship with him would be different because I had divorced Amman. By the way, how thoroughly have I been deceived? Inability to raise objections on legitimate issues. It was then that I realized that, in addition to the violent and coercive atmosphere, it was possible to gaslight the opponent by inducing extreme sympathy. As a woman, this part is even harder to break away from. Because I did that. Many thoughts came to me one after another.
If he truly respected me, wouldn’t he have told me the truth of the matter? Isn’t it right to reveal the root cause, rather than just throwing problems resulting from gambling at me? How could they do this to me, when they owed me money, used my own credit cards, lived in the same house, and ate together? I couldn’t even understand general psychology. He should have told me the cause, not the effect. Wouldn’t that have been the minimum courtesy?
I had never played a Hwatu properly in my life, and to me who had never placed a bet other than Takbam, the world of gambling, which was not even in the cards, opened its arms wide and said, ‘Welcome!’ So, 28 days after the divorce, like a zombie infected with the anger virus, I started studying everything I could about gambling addiction. I felt like I could one day overcome this hurdle and move forward. I thought I needed to know it properly, at least for my own sake.
