‘What on earth are all these gifts? son’
It was my son’s birthday recently. From two or three days before his birthday until the day of his birthday, gift deliveries continued. They unboxed the first few gifts and showed us who sent them and what they were. However, a few days ago, gifts delivered by courier started piling up in the living room at the entrance. I postponed the unboxing until after the exam because I didn’t have enough time to study for the exam due to midterm exams starting next week. It has been several days since the gifts arrived by courier, one by one, and piled up next to the front door.
At first glance, the number of gifts seemed to be over forty. I found out later by asking his son, but he said that the exact number of gifts he received was around 70. Both me and my wife could not help but be surprised. All I could think was that this was like receiving a gift from a celebrity. Even last year, it wasn’t like this. Not surprisingly, the day before my son’s birthday, a fire occurred at the Pangyo data center where the KakaoTalk server was located, causing service disruption that could not be restored for quite some time. I remember how dissatisfied my son was that something like this happened the day before his birthday.
At the time, I couldn’t really sympathize with my son’s complaints, but looking at the size of this year’s gift, I couldn’t help but think that my son had reason to be angry. I was curious about what kind of personal relationship he had to continue to receive such a barrage of gifts. At first glance, the son appears to be one of the most influential figures in the world. But in fact, the son said that the strategic relationship continues to this day.
When the first semester begins and you meet new friends in a new environment, you mainly spend the first few days observing and monitoring your friends. As a result of observation and monitoring, it was said that people were classified into friends with whom they wanted to become close friends, friends with whom they would only maintain a moderate relationship, and friends with whom it was difficult to get close. A thought crossed my mind that it was quite strategic and calculated.
When that conclusion is reached, he said he would first try to become closer to the friend he wanted to become close to. Friends who would only maintain moderate relationships said that they would maintain relationships to a certain level if such friends approached them first. Of course, he said that while maintaining that kind of relationship, if the relationship is more compatible and compatible than expected, the relationship can be developed one step further.
When I look at my son’s relationship objectively, I often feel that it is very calculated. However, the relationships that continue like that are not thought of as simply calculated relationships that pursue only each other’s interests. Just looking at the accumulated gifts, they range from friends from middle school to seniors at the university they are currently attending. There must be a reason to continue the relationship once established, and it is not a relationship that can last for many years simply because the person is good.
My son seems to be working extremely hard during his two years of college before enlisting in the military. A week, a month, and a semester had passed by before I knew it, including school work, school activities, extracurricular activities, and part-time work on the weekends. There are many people around my son, including many friends, seniors, and juniors. However, the people around him also form or break off relationships according to his son’s own rules and regulations. My son cannot be the best in all relationships, but he seems to do his best in the relationships that are meant to be. This is the part where the son’s attitude toward relationships, which considers his own growth and the consideration of others, feels a little more adult.
While going to school, working, and living in society, all people live in human relationships that are sometimes simple and sometimes complex. We cannot be free from relationships, and we grow ourselves in these relationships.
I opened my smartphone and checked the list of cell phone numbers. Many people’s numbers are stored, starting from ‘ㄱ’ to ‘ㅎ’. There are as many as 560 pieces of personal information, including everything from family members to people you have never been in contact with. However, among these many people, there are only about a dozen contacts in the list of frequently contacted contacts in the past 30 days.
Looking at our many contacts, we can see that we are already taking a strategic and calculated approach to relationships with people. While there are people I keep in touch with every day, there are also cases where I can’t even remember the faces of others. These are people who would be embarrassed to say they had a relationship.
Many people mistakenly believe that everyone around them is in a relationship. Even if you are in your contact list or only meet once or twice every few years, you understand and define the relationship in your own way as if it were a close relationship. However, all relationships cannot be absolute. Between people who think they are in a relationship, a relationship begins and continues depending on where each other’s thoughts are. There are cases where you feel disappointed that they do not contact you even though you have misunderstood the relationship, and you feel sad that you are not close. This is literally a result of a misunderstanding. Relationships are two-way communication.
There are many cases of mismatch in relationships. Unless we share each other’s thoughts, we cannot know the depth of our relationship. Relationships are not values expressed in exact numbers, such as weight, length, etc. Therefore, you don’t have to do your best in every relationship. However, if it is a relationship that you must continue, you must make efforts to continue that relationship even if you are a mismatch with the other person. Even if a relationship literally continues, it needs to be managed.
Among retired people, I often see people who stay at home without any outside activities. They say that the only people they have met during their long career are their coworkers at the company. They are all beginners in relationships due to voluntary isolation, such as ‘as I live’, ‘as I work’, etc., which I can sympathize with but only feel sad about. Most people are uncomfortable with new relationships and are unable to manage past relationships. As you get older, even if you try to find the past relationships you really want to find, it is not easy to reconnect with relationships that have passed a long time ago. It’s difficult to even contact them, but even when we do, the other person’s reaction is sour. A clear picture is drawn without looking. This is why you need to manage your relationships on a daily basis.
You don’t have to be your best in every relationship, but if you plan on maintaining a valuable relationship, you should do your best in the relationships you choose. There is nothing in old age that seems more lonely and sad than growing old alone. New relationships are important, but existing relationships must also be continued without interruption. How about taking care of your close relationships first, even starting tomorrow?
