By Hanneke Mijnster·0 minutes ago·Modified: 0 minutes ago
RTL
Death is a part of life, although we like to put it off as long as possible. Have you ever thought about the soundtrack of your life? Every week a reader gives us an insight into his last chord. Eelco (65) from Baarn works at the Tax Authorities. He has a special record in mind for his final chord.
Why this particular number?
“I think the band Linkin Park is fantastic and the chorus in this song is very attractive to me. When the time comes for me, Forget the wrong I’ve done, Help me find reasons to miss them, And don’t insult me. Don’t hate me and forget the rest. That fits. That text will also appear on the inside of the funeral card. The face says: ‘He is dead’.
I am divorced and depressed, which I changed. Although I have always been alone, this has only become stronger since my depression. I got a divorce because I wanted to live alone, and I feel responsible for that. Even though I’m on good terms with my daughter and ex-wife, I hope they remember me that way.”
What does the song say about your life?
“When you’re depressed, you also take your family with you. I didn’t want that, so I had to go, I thought. In a family you have to go to birthdays and do things. Logically, but I preferred more and more. normal stay at home by myself.
My daughter was doing well, my ex-wife would be fine, so I thought it was fine. I received treatment for my depression and medication, but nothing helped. The pills I took gave me an annoying fog in my head, so I stopped taking them again. “Severely depressed,” explained the psychiatrist, and since then I’ve been making the most of it.
The depression has changed me, I’m even more alone now. I have a few friends that I only see when I want to see them, I have a good relationship with my daughter and my ex and I mostly work from home. I start at 6am and finish at 2pm. That’s nice, because my chemo brain makes my head completely full in the afternoon.”
Do you have questions about suicide?
Base 113: call 113 or 0800-0113 (free)or anonymously through the chat on the website 113.nl
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
“A few years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, it turned out that I had appendicitis, and in the end also colon cancer. I underwent surgery and treatment. That is very difficult, by yourself. Next week I will have surgery again, because I may have testicular cancer.
I have already arranged everything, because I don’t want my daughter to have to carry that burden alone. She knows what I want and where to find everything. She knows who is allowed to come and who is not. For example, my colleagues have no business attending my funeral, they just come for the fun. I have worked for the Tax Authorities for years and have had a tattoo for 47 years, but I am sometimes told that my appearance does not suit this job.”
“I asked the funeral director if he could cut me into pieces and feed me to the animals in Artis, but that was not allowed. ”
“Besides Linkin Park, I’d like that too Adagio for strings played by Samuel Barber. A very sad song from the movie Platoon and a real tearjerker. I’m a bit of a contrarian, so there has to be one shout out song amongst all the down to earth ones.
I would rather choose one Funeral Tibetan sky. Your body will be taken to the Himalayas and eaten by vultures. Eventually they produce what is left of you and thus nourish the soil and nature. I think it’s beautiful. Unfortunately, that is not allowed here. I asked the funeral director if he could cut me into pieces and feed me to the animals in Artis, but that was not allowed either. Too bad, because I’d like to be useful when I’m dead.”
What are you dreaming of?
“I don’t know. I forget my dreams. My daughter and my ex are doing well, and besides that I’m just holding my breath. I can retire to retire in a year and a half, if I can do it. Yes, that’s how I stand there now.
It seems like a good move to stop treating depression. In the clinic where I was, I once heard two men of my age, maybe a little older, talking about the clients they already had and I knew: I don’t want this at all I know how bad things can get and how bad I can feel, how low I can sink. I have surrendered to him, this is how it is, and I will last a while.”
what are you guilty pleasure?
“Sweets. I’m a sweetie. Every week I order wine gum and cookies, or other goodies from the grocers, thinking it will last me a week. But usually it’s gone after two days. Whether I’m ordering groceries on a full or empty stomach day, I always throw it in.”
Participate?
What song should be played at your funeral? And what does that say about your life? If you would like to participate in this section, please email your story to hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl
2024-10-31 13:28:00
#Eelco #colleagues #funeral #feeling
