“Emily Boring on Overcoming Stigma and Misunderstanding Surrounding Eating Disorders”

Dubai, United Arab Emirates (CNN) — Emily Boring was accidentally diagnosed with disordered eating. After she went to the mental health office at her university to talk about her feelings of anxiety, she learned, through numerous conversations, that her behavior with food is classified as an eating disorder.

Emily, 27, a graduate student at Yale Divinity School in New Haven, Connecticut, said the recovery and relapse path taught her a lot about how to take care of herself and others.

Boehring spoke to CNN about the misunderstanding, embarrassment, and stigma associated with eating disorders.

CNN: What do you want people to know about disordered eating and eating disorders?

Emily Boring: I wish people knew that this is common everywhere. Most people will experience some kind of turbulent relationship with food and their bodies, simply because of our cultural environment.

What I would like to say first and foremost is that disordered eating, as well as eating disorders, affects everyone regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, age, or socioeconomic status. Eating disorders and disordered eating are not associated with being “thin” or underweight.

CNN: How do you define and treat eating disorders?

Boring: Eating disorders are currently classified as metabolic psychopathologies, that is, metabolism refers to the way the body processes energy, and then the psychological part associated with the brain and behavior.

This has been confirmed by the experience of people with eating disorders. And we’ve noticed for decades that eating disorders are triggered when someone is deficient in energy or doesn’t take in enough calories to support their body.

And eating disorders are not shameful. It is not an option, and it is not a failure. There is still a stigma attached to the idea that eating disorders are something we choose to do. And I would say: If someone is on the verge of realizing they have an eating disorder or they receive this diagnosis from someone else, I stress the importance of early intervention. I would say the first step to recovery is finding a good eating disorder team consisting of a therapist, a nutritionist, and a doctor.

CNN: How are confidants supposed to talk to people in recovery from an eating disorder?

Boring: I speak mostly from my own experience, but I’ve also guided quite a few teens along this path. I learned the hard way what isn’t helpful to say to them, and I was the recipient of unhelpful comments.

Comments and actions related to diet culture should be avoided as much as possible. And in this country, the way we value physical fitness in popular culture is antithetical to recovery. Diet culture is often masked by the mantra of health, this core belief that there is a standard of fitness and a strong, healthy body, and that everyone can achieve it if they just work hard.

And there’s a whole body of literature, scientific literature showing that health and weight are not causally linked. Therefore, being overweight does not necessarily mean that a person suffers from health problems.

CNN: What do you mean when you say not to use the “eating disorder voice” in response to the voice itself?

Boring: Let’s say I go to a doctor’s office, and I’m afraid of what’s going on with my body, and that I’m going to gain weight. And the doctor might say, “There’s no reason to worry, your body won’t change much.”

However true this statement may be, it directly affects belief in an eating disorder. And it’s very easy to try to reassure[your loved ones]using the language of an eating disorder, and I’ve found that it doesn’t really work in the long run.

CNN: What are the ways to talk to people without using the eating disorder voice?

Boring: Some of the questions I encourage people to ask themselves are: “Does what I’m about to say imply that some bodies are better than others”? Or that “some foods have more or less moral value?”

Also, try to avoid mentioning anything related to numbers, whether it’s weight, calories, or the number of hours of exercise per week.

Do not assume a person’s inner state from his outward appearance. It is better if people can wait and ask questions rather than assume.

CNN: What do people need to know about a relapse?

Boring: A relapse is not a failure, and it shouldn’t take you back to the worst state of illness you’ve ever had. And you can realize it early, and change reality.

What I wish I knew about relapse is that it happens more quickly, suddenly, and consumes a person more than I thought.

And if you are a person with the genes of an eating disorder, be it anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or any illness for that matter, you probably should always be careful and vigilant about maintaining nutrition, eating plenty and variety of foods, isolating Yourself about diet culture. Because it can happen quickly, like: a few days of restriction, losing a few kilos, and then all of a sudden, you’re completely back into an eating disorder.

And I would also say that a setback is a learning opportunity. And each time I relapsed, I looked back and realized I had discovered something new about what recovery meant to me.

And I think that’s just a way of saying that a person should be kind to themselves and open up because a setback is a crisis, and do their best to work through it. But also, this is not a failure and it is not an indication that you will suffer for life.

CNN: What have you learned about recovery?

Boring: In fact, recovery is about the present. It is the ability to be present, to form relationships with your surroundings, and to do what interests you. It is also a physical presence of awareness of your body, the ability to perceive sensations, to listen to your body’s hunger cues, and to feel full.