THE MAN’S ROLE: – By embracing vulnerability, men can create a deeper bond with themselves and those around them. Perhaps it is time to abolish the idea of the infallible man in favor of a more nuanced and genuine version, asks Andreas Håheim. Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto
It is time to replace dangerous role models like Andrew Tate with inspirational figures who promote values such as honesty, responsibility and compassion.
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This is a chronicle. The chronicle expresses the writer’s attitude. You can submit chronicles and debate posts to debatt@vg.no.
ANDREAS HÅHEIM, dad, university lecturer, sexologist and author of the book “In the head of the man”
A couple of weeks ago I was in a lecture hall at the University of Stavanger, where I, as a lecturer for child welfare education students, had the pleasure of inviting a guest lecturer from the youth section of Stavanger police.
His concern was evident and an air of seriousness hung over the room as he shared insights from the front line.
It wasn’t numbers and statistics that captivated our thoughts, but the raw reality he shed light on – a reality where young people, especially young boys, seem to be losing their footing in a world characterized by violence, crime and drugs.
He shared his observations of a disturbing trend: The boys who fell into the category of crime, violence and drugs were getting younger and younger.
Something fundamental had changed, and he pointed to a common denominator among them – a dangerous set of role models. He mentioned names recognizable to the congregation: Andrew Tate, gang leaders and men who glorify violence and crime.
These names were not only symbols of an underground culture, but they had become mental architects for young minds, shaping their views of masculinity and their place in society.
TEIT TATE: – F**k Andrew Tate, writes columnist Andreas Håheim. Photo: Siv Sørensen
The meeting opened for reflection on the ongoing crisis in men’s psyche and the profound influence of faulty role models.
At a time when we are rightfully turning the spotlight on mental health, it is striking that phenomena such as Andrew Tate can resonate with today’s youth.
This is not only a result of individual irresponsibility, but it also reflects a deeper problem in the way we as a society have handled masculinity and emotions throughout the ages.
An important factor that has contributed to today’s problematic perception of masculinity is perhaps the lack of open conversations about feelings and vulnerability between fathers and their children.
Traditionally, society has put pressure on men to be impervious to emotional influence. This has created a vacuum where young men search for extreme forms of masculinity, such as that represented by this Tate.
When fathers fail to discuss feelings and vulnerability with their children, the door opens to dangerous role models who promote destructive ideas.
– In a time where we are rightfully focusing the spotlight on mental health, it is striking that phenomena such as Andrew Tate (pictured) can find resonance among today’s youth, believes the chronicler. Photo: INQUAM PHOTOS / Reuters / NTB
Modern media culture, especially social media and reality TV, is another arena where dangerous forms of masculinity can thrive. This is clearly expressed in the programs where men are recognized and rewarded for having sex on screen.
This phenomenon not only objectifies men, but it also sends a dangerous message that sexuality is the primary aspect of male identity.
It also doesn’t help when former “Ex-On The Beach” participants legitimize their porn entry on Only Fans, with arguments such as “everyone has seen me fuck before anyway” or “I make a hell of a lot of money from this, why should I don’t do it”.
Today’s youth look up to these harmful role models who promote destructive ideas about masculinity and sexuality. Ideas that men have the right to dominate, take without consent, and commit criminal acts, or describe women as being for the man’s pleasure, are a threat to social cohesion.
It creates a dangerous climate where respect for the dignity of others is sacrificed on the altar of a distorted view of masculinity. This is a recipe for conflict and loss for all involved.
Toxic masculinity norms have long dominated our society, and they have contributed to a harmful cycle of repressed emotions and excessive aggression. It is time to break with these norms and open up to a broader definition of masculinity.
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Perhaps the real strength lies in the ability to be authentic and to embrace the full range of emotions?
It’s time to put aside the myths about the man and embrace the real, diverse reality of manhood.
By opening up discussion and challenging taboos about men’s mental health, we can create a society where men feel free to be themselves without fear of stigmatisation.
Today’s young men need this, and their fathers need it perhaps the most.
We’ve all heard it before: “Men don’t cry.”
But why not? What is it about the tears of a man that is so threatening to our society? And why shouldn’t crying men be role models for our young boys.
Andrew Tate doesn’t cry, but so what? – he will not be a role model for my children anyway.
It is time to break with the dangerous notion that “real men” do not struggle with anxiety, depression or other psychological challenges.
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“Don’t you know who I am?”
It is our damned duty as men to speak up when we see hints of Andrew Tate beats out on the town.
Traditionally, the man has been seen as the support of the family, the infallible one. But what happens when we allow men to be human and fallible?
By embracing vulnerability, the man can create a deeper bond with himself and those around him. Maybe it’s time to ditch the idea of the infallible man in favor of a more nuanced and genuine version.
It is time to replace dangerous role models with inspirational figures who promote values such as honesty, responsibility and compassion.
Let’s build a society that celebrates diversity, respect and openness about feelings, where men can be strong, but at the same time vulnerable to themselves and others.
This means encouraging young men to be strong, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
It means teaching them that true strength lies in standing up for what is right, showing care for others and being a constructive force in society.
This is a form of male identity that nourishes the soul rather than detracts from it.
It is through this journey that we can really build up the man and his psyche.
We can no longer stand idly by as destructive voices like Andrew Tate shape young minds.
Published:
Published: 03.12.23 at 10:53
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2023-12-03 09:53:58
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