Lorenzo was 14 when he met his ghosts. Six years later, the disease took over. On February 3, 2020 he died. Killed by anorexia. “Don’t worry, I don’t eat but I’m strong,” he said before going up to his room, giving his mother a reassuring smile. It wasn’t true, it wasn’t strong. A year later, mother Francesca Lazzari continues to carry on her own battle: «My son is gone, but there are many other children who like him need to be helped. And with them as many families who deserve a chance. We have lost the battle, but I will do everything I can for others to win it ».
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Last year he denounced that in Italy there are no public structures able to help children who have eating disorders, has something changed?
“Nothing, unfortunately. Children continue to die and parents blame themselves for not doing enough. Every year the number of young people suffering from food-related diseases increases, but there is still no response from the institutions. Eating disorders are the second leading cause of death among adolescents, right after road accidents. They kill more than cancer, but nobody talks about it. ”
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What is it like to live with a boy with anorexia?
“It means constantly living with fear. I canceled myself to help him, I neglected the other three children. Everything revolved around Lorenzo, his anorexia: it was my only priority. To remember happy moments in the family, I have to go back seven years, before he stopped eating. Today we are trying hard to lead a peaceful life, but there is always an aura of sadness. The other day my 13-year-old son told me: “I’m the one who enjoyed it the least.” He was only six when Lorenzo fell ill ».
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What were the first signs?
“He ate less and less and lost weight. We were unprepared, as so many parents are now. A mother fears that her son may use drugs and alcohol. When he went out in the evening I didn’t worry that he might smoke some weed, I thought: “Let’s hope he’ll eat something and then he won’t throw up”.
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Was there a moment when you thought that Lorenzo could heal?
«We have deluded ourselves. For a year he was hospitalized in a therapeutic center in Brusson, in the Aosta Valley. When he got home he was fine, he had put on weight and went back to school. Then he started not eating again. It takes many small steps to heal, but one is enough to precipitate ».
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Did she feel abandoned?
«It is an understatement. I have been denied the chance to save my son and I cannot give myself peace. In December, when he was last released from the hospital, I pleaded with the doctors not to. They replied that my son was of age, that he could decide for himself. I insisted, explained that he was sick, that he couldn’t make it. I remained unheard and two months later Lorenzo died ».
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After the death of his son, he created the association «As you are»: with what aim?
“I want to be of help to other families. I can no longer save Lorenzo, but I can try to save other people. We will soon be opening a listening center for parents. A place where you can compare and find answers. Parents need to find someone who speaks the same language as theirs – many don’t know where to turn or think they can do it on their own. They don’t need pity, but someone to help them ».
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How important is it to have support?
“In these twelve months I have known many mothers who have lost their son or daughter. Our experiences are similar. We have all experienced an ordeal, we know the loneliness and that sense of helplessness in seeing our children enter and leave intensive care, without being healed “.
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She is running a petition (“Face us” on change.org) for eating disorders to be classified as a disease in its own right.
“Today they are considered psychiatric disorders, but if they were included in Lea (Essential Care Levels) the regions would have to create structures to treat these children. Because if faced in time and correctly, this disease can be defeated ».
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February 1, 2021 | 22:00
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