Patience… This is what we say to Cameroonians. If you did not choose the man you are forced to marry, you will end up loving him. If your husband hits you, it will work out …
But patience is not the main quality of Djaïli Amadou Amal. This 45-year-old Cameroonian writer, Fulani and Muslim, is said to be rather dark and stubborn. Evidence of this is the surprising journey that led her from the forced marriage in which she languished to the gates of the Goncourt. His book, The impatient, is one of the four finalists for the prestigious award awarded on November 30. In Paris, where she is staying with friends, not far from Saint-Germain-des-Prés and the publishers district, she is living her last hours of waiting. “Of course I did not expect to be selected”, exclaims this dynamic woman, whose laughter breaks out at the turn of the sentences.
Raped on the wedding night
Her book, spotted in Cameroon and then published in France by a passionate editor, Emmanuelle Collas, traces the fate of three women: Ramla, forcibly married at 17 to a 50-year-old polygamist; Hindu, thrown as food to an alcoholic and drugged cousin; and Safira, Ramla’s co-wife, determined to put an end to her rival …
This poignant and gripping book denounces the tragic fate of many Cameroonian women, raped on their wedding night by husbands high on painkillers and Viagra, beaten, at the very least forced to live in a polygamous marriage, stuck in the pettiness that engenders cohabitation between wives … “Early and forced marriage, although prohibited, is the most pernicious violence, describes Djaïli Amadou Amal. It drives all the others. The girl loses all chance to get a diploma, to become independent. She can no longer escape violence. Patience, munyal in Fulani, this is what we repeat to her so that she accepts her sufferings and submits. “
This novel is not autobiographical. Djaïli Amadou Amal was nourished by the fate of many women. But her career curiously resembles that of Ramla, a too pretty high school student spotted by a potentate and who undergoes the vicissitudes of a polygamous marriage.
” I went to school “
She herself was married to a man who could have been her grandfather, the mayor of Maroua, her town in northern Cameroon. His father, a Fulani, lawyer and high school teacher, and his mother, an Egyptian, were however progressive. “I went to school and they had professional ambitions for us. But they were unable to resist pressure from family and colleagues. So when my sister wanted to marry her boyfriend at 14, they let her do it to protect her. She has been married for twenty years and still in love! “
As for Djaïli, her marriage brings her to the brink of suicide. But she manages to divorce, remarries out of love to a man who turns out to be brutal, has two daughters. She begins to write at night. “My husband almost broke the computer on my head! “ She fled to Yaoundé. “Because I realized that the days when my daughters were teenagers, we risked giving them in marriage …”
Thanks to her BTS in management, one of the only diplomas that one of her husbands has accepted for her to pass, she works as an assistant. “But it was very hard. My husband kidnapped my daughters for three years. “ She is holding on, helped by her love for reading. So, very young, she sneaked into the church library. “I loved Juliette Benzoni’s historical novels! “
“Not second-class writers”
She is then alone, easy prey for stalkers, at work. ” You know what ? I sold my gold jewelry and bought myself a table and a computer! “ She follows writing workshops, publishes Walaande, the art of sharing a husband. “Then I came back to my city and organized a dedication myself. “
She has since remarried a writer, “A wonderful man” . His 19 and 20-year-old daughters, university students, are his greatest pride. And she founded the Association Femmes du Sahel, which fights against forced marriage. “We educate dads and moms through talks, we sponsor daughters. “
Recognized writer, she has two messages to convey. “I want to tell girls that you can get by with willpower. This message is universal because there are abused women as far as France. And tell Cameroonians that we can stay in Africa, get published and then make ourselves known elsewhere. This does not mean that one is a second-rate writer! “
The impatient, 240 pages, 17 €, E-Book 12,99 €.
– .
