In a group of friends, it’s a safe bet that the sparks explode during hot debates. But on a daily basis, how do we know if our friends are finally toxic?
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It’s obvious: several types of personalities make up our gang and we love that difference! Each person brings their personal touch, their energy, their vibration, what! The diversity within the group is EXACTLY what makes it beautiful.
Have you ever experienced a heated argument with your friends? Opposing ideas or values can lead to electrifying moments.
Acquaintance or true friendship? These two categories of relationship are important to identify in order to put the energy in the right places. In order to protect yourself from malicious friendships, it is important to ask yourself key questions to avoid hurting yourself.
• Read also: 20 Things Only True Best Friends Will Understand
How to discern a toxic friendship?
Toxic people are often associated with the term manipulation. Manipulating those around you to achieve personal ends, diminishing others to get back on your feet… Doesn’t sound very good, does it? This is precisely why it is toxic!
Close-knit friendships, on the other hand, are filled with emotional intelligence: we notice that they are tinged with kindness, caring and understanding. With these precious people around us, we know that our secrets will be well kept.
There is nothing more frustrating than having trusted a person considered a friend, who ultimately turns out to be the complete opposite of what one could imagine. To identify a toxic friendship, the psychologist Erin Leonard describes four types of toxic people in friendship, which she explains in an article by Psychology Today.
Here are the four types of toxic people in friendship
1. The Provocateur
A new friendship comes unexpectedly into your life and you connect quickly. As this person makes you feel comfortable, the confessions are linked to certain things that you don’t like about other friends. One fine day, without warning, she will report to the persons in question everything that you have been able to say about them. A feeling of betrayal and anxiety sets in, as she must have twisted or presented the remarks out of context. We put the blame on ourselves: we can easily have the people concerned on our backs. This manipulative, toxic personality squeezes as much juice as possible and then exposes it, in order to gain an advantage and pass as the right person in the story.
2. The double face
These people are of a rare kindness, on one condition: they have to be in front of you. Behind your back, a whole host of other things are going on. They are constantly putting you down in their other friend groups. This is a toxic friendship, because they find pleasure in tarnishing reputations. Always in denial that they talked behind your back, these people cover up their mean comments with passive-aggressive humor. The classic false compliments what!
3. The hero
Seeming confident at first sight, these people are rather endowed with a (very) intrusive ego. The hero, as his name suggests, believes himself superior to all. The trick to realize that you rub shoulders with this type of person? Erin Leonard claims that she “devalues us and rejects us immediately after we come up with an idea or perspective that’s different from her own.” This feeds the feeling of rejection in the other. In summary, this person knows everything and is right about everything…
4. To the victims
Filled with excuses, the victim does not take responsibility for their actions and redirects attention to what they are experiencing. She justifies, for example, the fact that she arrives late to your party by a difficulty that she experiences, saying that there is a lot of traffic and that Saturday was perhaps not the best day to emphasize your birthday. The psychologist mentions: “these people lack empathy, a sense of responsibility and often seek to sabotage someone they are jealous of”.
In light of these four types of toxic friendships, we are better able to filter our friendships! It is important to feel in a safe friendly environment, to develop each other and to grow together.
photo-credit">INSTAGRAM / KYLIE JENNER
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