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Diary from Kyiv: – I feel pain

KYIV (Dagbladet): Every day I try to put together small pieces from the news to put together the big picture of what is happening in this country. I try to understand how the whole country feels.

Will not be back

I try to sense how part feels in Kharkiv, where Russia bombs and fires with grenade launchers. The rockets hail over the city. The Russians are destroying houses, kindergartens and some of their lives. Hundreds of lives are already over. And they will never return to Kharkiv, not even after the war.

ABSURD: The Russians plan to mobilize the men from Kherson into the Russian army. They want to force them to fight against their own – the armed forces of Ukraine. It is absurd, writes Denys Martynov. Selfie: Denys Martynov.
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I try to imagine how the half-ruined medieval city of Chernihiv feels as it slowly comes back to life. The city has undergone long-running battles, and thanks to the heroes who defended Chernihiv, our capital Kyiv is virtually untouched. Thanks to Chernihiv, I’m still alive.

Og takk til Bucha, Irpin, Vorzel, Borodyanka, Brovary …

I think about how Mariupol feels, the city that has been wiped from the face of the earth. Houses with black empty dazzling windows no longer cry, there is simply no one living on the inside of these windows. The graves between the houses emphasize just this.

Will kill and destroy

And in general, what does it look like – to be a modern human being on the front lines of the Donbas, where a roaring inferno from all the weapons not only fills the air, but also the lungs, head and paralyzes the whole body. And there, behind the front line, on the other side, are inhuman people coming to kill and destroy.

NEW GOALS: This is Putin’s new war goal. Reporter: Christian Fjelmeros.
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Filled with refugees, Lviv receives thousands of Ukrainians from all over the country in the hope that the intruders’ weapons would not reach here. How does Lviv feel when you look at four cruise missiles that fall over the city in the morning, launched either from the Caspian Sea or from planes over the territory of Belarus.

And how does Odessa feel, a city that is probably full of legend stories about who and how the Russian warship Moscow sank, and how it went to hell. And what is it like to live in Mykolajiv without water supply for several weeks, but with our Ukrainian army around the city.

Cynicism and absurdities

And of course, I feel my hometown Kherson, where my mother and my close friends live. Their everyday life continues with the constant presence of intruders with weapons in their hands on the street. And the invaders plan to mobilize the Kherson men into the Russian army. They want to force them to fight against their own – the armed forces of Ukraine.

This shows the sheer level of cynicism and absurdity of the Russian occupiers, which is necessary to understand the cruelty of this situation.

Sunday begins the Orthodox Easter. It is the day when life took over for death. A week ago it was a promising and nice day for most families in Europe. But Easter in Ukraine is going to be the exact opposite. Most families are separated and have fled to different places in Ukraine or Europe.

RUSSIA’S GOALS: This is the situation now, so they attack. Reporter: Halldor Hustadnes. Video: Hans A. Vedlog / Dagbladet
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Curfew

On our Easter evening, the moment of the resurrection, there will be a curfew in Ukraine. This is due to the danger of false flag operations and rocket attacks by the Russian invaders. In this war, several cruel and ugly incidents will appear. We do not know what is happening where the Russian forces are attacking, but there will be more cases of the massacre in Butsja.

Here I am in Kyiv, I experience the war on my computer. This is a necessary exercise I repeat every single day. Every day I try to find the feeling for the whole of Ukraine.

I feel pain.

The diary is translated by Henning Lillegård.

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