Parenting丨Refuse to be a Hong Kong child!Develop children’s self-care skills with reference to the self-care ability indicators
Parents love and care for their children and always want to take good care of them in all aspects of life, but excessive assistance will prevent their children from developing their self-care abilities. Molly Leung, deputy director of the Jockey Club South Kwai Chung Youth Integrated Services Center of the Boys’ and Girls’ Clubs Association of Hong Kong, deconstructs children’s self-care needs at different stages and how to cultivate children’s self-care abilities, so that children can “shake off” the label of Hong Kong children!
Junior high school students should have self-care abilities in four major areas
Molly pointed out that generally the first grade of primary school is the time to establish routines. In the four major areas of personal hygiene, appearance, home life and school life, the ability to take care of oneself is gradually established as the age increases.
personal hygiene
Children in the first grade should be able to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, brush their teeth and face by themselves. As the children grow up, they can gradually master the skills of bathing and washing their hair by themselves, and can also judge whether they are clean and whether the bubbles on their bodies have been washed. Qing et al.
personal appearance
Children in Primary 1 know how to operate details such as buttons and zippers, and how to wear socks and shoes by themselves; by Primary 2 to Primary 3, children should be able to choose and wear appropriate clothes according to the weather, such as when the temperature warms up. , know how to take off your coat by yourself.
The other part is grooming and grooming, such as tidying up clothes after going to the toilet and wiping mouth after meals. These are also parts that children gradually master from primary one to primary three.
home life
Children in Primary One can eat on their own and put down their bowls and chopsticks after eating. Older children can help their families prepare dishes and clear away the dishes after meals.
school life
When children enter the primary one stage, they should be able to pick up their schoolbags by themselves. At the primary two and three stages, children will gradually learn to manage their own belongings, such as ensuring that nothing is missing, that they don’t take the wrong classmates’ belongings, and that they bring everything with them to class and after school on the same day. Items needed for the event, etc. Another aspect is responsibility and time management. For example, in primary one, children may still need family reminders to get up and go to school. However, in primary three, children’s sense of time has become more solid and they will know to do designated things at designated times.
The reason why I still can’t tie my shoelaces in junior high school is because of the lack of application opportunities.
In addition to the above links, there are other indicators of self-care ability in life. One of the milestones is tying shoelaces. Molly found that many middle school students now do not know how to tie their shoes. The reason may be due to the lack of practice opportunities from junior to senior primary school. Children may not need to tie their shoelaces when they are young. You can use Velcro instead. Parents can encourage their children to stick the Velcro in the correct position during the process, and then learn to tie their shoelaces. In different aspects of life, parents can encourage their children to start with the simple parts and slowly learn to take care of themselves.
One of the milestones in life as an indicator of self-care ability is tying shoelaces.
Molly also observed that the instructions given by parents are too strong, which is not conducive to children’s ability to take care of themselves. For example, children entering the primary three stage should know how to choose appropriate clothes according to the weather. However, some children will wear more clothes because their parents tell them that the weather is cold. Even if they feel hot, even sweating and blushing, they still will not take off their clothes. And wipe sweat. In addition, Molly said that managing items is also a common weakness among children. It is common for children to lose pencils, erasers and other stationery, and this ability requires more training to be good at it. Molly learned that parents may help their children more because they want to be quick and find it troublesome. However, over-assisting children will actually weaken their ability to take care of themselves. Molly suggests that parents should not be impatient and let their children try so that they can master the skills through practice and repeated revisions. In addition, a child’s ability to successfully do something is a demonstration of their sense of ability, which can build their confidence. Being able to take care of themselves will also make them feel “I have grown up!” Parents who help too much in everything will make their children overly dependent, lose their autonomy and lack self-confidence.
Parents should also give their children the opportunity to try more in order to learn self-care skills. For example, when the weather is hot, let the children try to take off their coats on their own to feel cool and comfortable, and have a positive experience. When encountering the same scene next time, the children will know how to take off their coats even without parents’ advice.
Parents should not be impatient and avoid over-helping their children
Molly learned that parents may help their children more because they want to be quick and find it troublesome. However, over-assisting children will actually weaken their ability to take care of themselves. Molly suggests that parents should not be impatient and let their children try so that they can master the skills through practice and repeated revisions. In addition, a child’s ability to successfully do something is a demonstration of their sense of ability, which can build their confidence. Being able to take care of themselves will also make them feel “I have grown up!” Parents who help too much in everything will make their children overly dependent, lose their autonomy and lack self-confidence.
Parents should also give their children the opportunity to try more in order to learn self-care skills. For example, when a child feels hot, he or she tries to take off his or her coat and feels cool and comfortable, thereby gaining a positive experience. The next time the child encounters the same situation, he or she will know how to take off his or her coat without any advice from the parent.
When the child feels hot, he or she tries to take off his coat, so he feels cool and comfortable, and has a positive experience of the situation. The next time he encounters the same situation, the child will know how to take off his coat even without any advice from his parents.
The epidemic affects children’s self-care
The epidemic in recent years has affected children’s ability to take care of themselves. Children lack opportunities to go out and have more exposure to the living environment outside the home. Molly and her colleagues have also noticed that children generally regress after the epidemic, and their abilities will regress to the level one or two years ago. It is also the key for children to try out different life situations on their own to build their self-care ability.
Repeated practice is the key to making up for failure to reach the target
Parents can gradually develop their children’s self-care abilities through home training. Molly recommends that parents provide clear instructions, break the task into different steps, and let the children practice more on their own to make it easier for them to master. For example, when teaching children to tie their shoelaces, parents can use some formulas or let their children practice with thick ropes first, and then gradually switch to shoelaces, so that they can gradually master the skill of tying shoelaces.
Creating a schedule makes it easier to prepare
In terms of time management, Molly recommends that parents encourage their children to establish a daily schedule and set times for getting up, eating, studying, playing, etc. When children understand what they want to do and when, it will be easier for them to prepare themselves and learn self-discipline. Parents can also assign simple housework to children, such as washing dishes, hanging clothes, folding clothes, etc. according to their age. It may take longer and require more guidance in the early stages, but it is these parts that allow children to gradually learn and improve.
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Parents can also encourage their children to take care of themselves. For example, when they are thirsty, parents do not give their children water directly, but let them pour water themselves.
Be patient and let the child finish
The home environment is full of learning opportunities. Parents need to be patient and not be afraid of trouble when they “let go” and let their children try to take care of themselves. Although the speed and effect of handing things over to children are not as good as those done by parents themselves, in the long run, children can learn better skills in handling things. The coordination ability of children’s hands in early childhood has not yet been carefully developed. Parents can provide appropriate assistance in putting on pants, holding pens and chopsticks; and when the child makes progress, these assistance should be reduced.
Parents share their experiences
In home training, parents’ appreciation and encouragement are also very important. Parents can let their children know that as long as they take things slowly, they will learn to take care of themselves. Things are not done in one step, but take many years. Parents sharing their childhood learning experiences with their children is also a very good communication for the children, so that the children can better understand that self-care ability is not innate, but can be learned step by step.
Leung Mei-ting, deputy director of the Hong Kong Boys’ and Girls’ Clubs Association Jockey Club South Kwai Chung Youth Integrated Services Center
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2023-12-13 09:55:33
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