Deborah (Ex on the Beach) participates in Sex Tape: ‘They thought we were very kinky’ | Sex & Relationships

Wat is Sex Tape?

In Sex Tape, three couples film their love and sex lives for a week. The couples show each other, and the viewer, their lives between the sheets and beyond, in order to break the taboo on sex. The participants and viewers can then take the advice of ex-porn actress Bobbi Eden and relationship therapist Jeremy Heshof into the bedroom themselves.

What was your sex life like before Sex Tape?

“Before we entered Sex Tape, we didn’t have sex for periods because we didn’t want to get pregnant and couldn’t find a form of birth control we liked. In addition, spontaneity was lacking in our sex life, because I was very fond of my hygiene and that of my partner.”

Why did you want to join?

“When I was 19, I did a swab at the hospital that showed I have the human papillomavirus, better known as HPV. Two years ago I got cervical cancer because of that virus. I had to be treated for it, my bad cells were burned away. I am now 30 and still carry the virus with me. By participating in Sex Tape, I wanted to make people aware of HPV, because I didn’t know it at all when I was 19.

Another obstacle in our sex life was problems with birth control. I can’t tolerate the pill because it made me feel depressed. Matthew doesn’t like condoms. They feel to him as if his ‘little friend is choking’. Still, we used condoms, because we weren’t ready for a little one yet, despite our desire to have children. We saw our opportunity in the program to look for alternatives.”

What did others think of your participation?

“We wanted to show that sex is not just penetration for us. For us, sex is everything that happens before that from which sex arises. The other couples thought before they saw our sextape that we were going to be very kinky. They really thought things were going to get really wild.

My mother was very shocked when she heard that Matthew and I were going to participate in Sex Tape. ‘She didn’t know the program yet, but the name sounded very ‘porn’ according to her. I showed the footage to my best friend and mother before Matthew and I sent the footage to the program. The images made my mother very emotional, because she recognized us so well as a couple in the images. My mother and I have a very close relationship. She was there for me when I was diagnosed with HPV and cancer. She is very proud that I want to create more awareness for the virus.”

What advice did you receive?

“We have learned a lot from the program. Jeremy advised me not to wash myself too often, because then the acidity of your vagina can get out of balance. I remembered that, but the advice made me aware of it again. I do my best not to focus so much on hygiene. Since I let go of that hygiene more, we started experimenting in crazy places since our participation.

I had already tried the NuvaRing, and after the program I wanted to give that form of contraception another chance. That’s the best remedy we’ve tried so far, although I’m not completely satisfied yet. It makes me very dry and we need lubricant. That’s not bad, but it is a side effect of my body. Jeremy also recommended buying wider-sized condoms if we’re going to use condoms anyway. That might be more comfortable for Matthew. Jeremy also advised changing condoms every 15 minutes during sex, as friction can cause holes in the latex.”

How has your sex life changed?

“After our participation, our sex life got a nice boost. We now have sex every day. We need to make up for some damage, because Matthew and I just got out of a move and had little time for each other. Now that we have a house, our next big wish is a baby.”

From Friday, March 18, you can watch the latest and final episode of this season of Sex Tape, featuring Deborah and Matthew on Discovery+

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