Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the mothers and mother figures in our lives, but for those who have experienced the loss of a mother, it can be a day filled with sadness and grief. Coping with this kind of loss is not easy, but finding ways to honor and remember our mothers can help make the day more bearable. In this article, we will discuss ways to cope with grief on Mother’s Day and honor the memories of the women who played such an important role in our lives.
Mother’s Day: Coping with Grief and Loss
Mother’s Day is usually a day of celebration and appreciation for mothers around the world. However, for those who have lost a mother, child or are struggling with infertility, it can be a painful day to endure. Coping with emotions and navigating through the day can prove to be overwhelming. The bombardment of marketing emails and social media posts about the day can become unbearable, making it difficult to ignore. In this article, we explore how to manage your pain on Mother’s Day and how to comfort a loved one struggling with grief.
Acknowledge Your Grief
Denying your grief only hinders the process of healing. It is important to honor your emotions, even the sad and painful ones. Dr. Lisa Turner, a trauma expert and founder of CETfreedom, says, “It’s OK to feel sad and accept that we’re in pain.” Acknowledging your emotions allows you to express and process them, leading to healing and acceptance.
Set Boundaries with People
It is okay to say no to plans that you are not comfortable with or decline social situations that do not serve you. Maria Bailey, founder of Grief Specialist CIC, says, “You can simply explain to colleagues or friends that the day is hard for you and leave it at that. You don’t have to go into detail.” Most people have experienced grief or have someone close to them who has, so they should understand.
Unsubscribe from Mailing Lists
Companies often flood inboxes with Mother’s Day deals or discounts, which can trigger emotions for those grieving. Fortunately, most companies offer the option to opt-out of receiving marketing emails. “The lead-up to Mother’s Day can often feel as bad as the day itself,” says Bailey. “I’ve found the option to opt-out is easy to do, and for many, that small decision can make a big difference.”
Don’t Avoid All Triggers
It is impossible to avoid all triggers and trying to do so may do more harm than good. Lisa Turner says, “You can make decisions that will avoid or keep you away from unnecessary pain, but you can’t avoid all triggers. It’s important to remember that no one has ever died from crying too much. In fact, people can get physically ill when they try to avoid pain and deny their feelings.”
Get Out in Nature
Taking a walk in nature is good for both physical and mental health. Lisa Turner recommends taking a break from screens and getting outside in nature to reset your neurochemicals. It is essential to have brain resets throughout the day to reduce anxiety and depression.
Start New Traditions to Honor Loved Ones
Rather than focusing on the loss of a loved one, use the day to honor their life. Creating new traditions such as getting together with loved ones and sharing fond memories, or donating to charity work well. “Just because our mother is no longer with us, doesn’t mean we can’t encourage others to celebrate the mums in their lives,” says Turner.
Celebrate the Mums in All Our Lives
If you have lost your mother or no longer have a relationship with them, use the day to pay tribute to mother figures in your life. Turner says, “Sometimes our friends are like mothers to us. We can mother each other.” Take time to celebrate and show appreciation to those who have played a significant role in your life.
Don’t Force Someone to Cheer Up
When comforting a loved one who is grieving, do not pressure them to feel better. Turner says, “There’s nothing wrong with someone being upset or down. The best thing to do is to ask if they want to talk but also be fine with them not wanting to.” Some people heal internally, so it is better to ask what you can do to help, rather than assuming.
Takeaway
Coping with grief and loss can be challenging, especially on Mother’s Day. However, acknowledging your emotions, setting boundaries, and celebrating life are essential steps towards healing. It is crucial to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no right way to mourn the loss of a loved one. Regardless of how one chooses to commemorate Mother’s Day, it is essential to take care of oneself physically and mentally.
