In many books on psychology, and psychologists themselves write about how to avoid conflicts in friendships, romantic or family relationships. In life, we strive to minimize disagreements with loved ones because we do not want to be considered toxic people in the eyes of others.
Many conflicts involve negative emotions. We shout, cry, break dishes and slam doors, and after a quarrel, we may not talk to each other for a week, a month, or even break off relations with a person. And it doesn’t matter where you have got to know each other, be it the brides4love site for girls dating or an acquaintance at an exhibition. Every couple is prone to having conflicts, which is a negative side of relationships. Because of this that people avoid quarrels and proudly tell everyone that their relationship is ideal, and conflicts have only been seen in the movies.
Isn’t It Good That We Live Peacefully and Never Quarrel?
The answer is no. The absence of conflicts can be in several cases.
- The first is when the relationship is in stagnation. In a pair, everyone has their own life, and all their communication comes down to a couple of words at dinner. Is this relationship reliable? No. Because people are not interested in the life of another, but live together, because it is convenient for them.
- In the second case, in a couple, someone is silent about their dissatisfaction in order to avoid a showdown. This latent (hidden) conflict will end when one of the parties runs out of patience. Then the person will either express to a partner/friend everything that has been accumulated over many years of the relationship or will silently leave. But this is also not a good option.
So, Why Is Conflict Needed?
It is necessary to develop and strengthen relationships. When we express to a loved one that we get negative emotions from their acts, trust between people grows. During a constructive conversation, we can find out that both are unhappy with some circumstance, they have simply been afraid for a long time to admit this to each other. Or we can help the person look at the relationship from a different angle. So, any disagreement acts beneficially for the relationship.
The most essential thing is to resolve the conflict correctly:
- Do not scream heart-rendingly, but conduct a dialogue in a calm manner.
- Do not blame the person for what he/she did, but talk about how you feel from these actions.
- Do not interrupt or impose your point of view.
As a result, your conversation about the conflict should be constructive and, most importantly, resolved.
Conclusive Words
Any conflict has both negative (anger, disappointment, grief, etc.) and positive sides (development, inspiration, and change). It is essential not to be afraid of conflict, but to speak openly and honestly to loved ones about your feelings and learn to hear “yes” and “no” in response.
