Children have a different concept of time than adults. Why they can chill better and how they learn when the day after tomorrow is.
Family life can be quite philosophical. The child in our life makes us think. For example, when he calmly takes off his rubber boots, one after the other – while we in our coats, lunch boxes in hand, impatiently step from one foot to the other at the open door. what is time
Children live in the moment
Is it an arrow on which you move forward? Or is it a point where you stand still? It all depends if you’re 34. Or two and a half. Whether you have to drop off the child at daycare and then have to catch the bus to work. Or if you feel like putting your size 25 rubber boots on backwards this morning.
When adults do something, their thoughts are often already on the next item on the agenda. Children don’t plan, they live in the moment. It doesn’t matter if it’s the beautiful moment when they fly into the sky with the swing. Or the terrible moment they spend screaming in front of the refused chocolate bar in the organic market. Children live in the now, one way or the other, happy, dawdling, jumping, swearing, dreaming. In ten minutes, tonight, the day after tomorrow – when should that be? Time doesn’t matter.
Nevertheless, even little ones have an idea of how it works. Babies as young as six months follow an internal script, developmental researchers say. They like familiar things, repetitions. It begins in the womb when the unborn child hears its mother’s heart beating.
Babies clearly show their expectations
Babies later recognize familiar processes. Dad leans over my bed with a smile, kisses my nose, I’m about to be picked up. Little ones clearly show their expectation. They kick about excitedly, wave their hands, beam up over both cheeks. If then. One action is followed by the next. The abstract thing time initially plays a role for children as a familiar ritual.
Studies show that even three-year-olds can plan schedules if they are linked to good feelings. Cross out three more candles on the calendar, then it’s birthday. Grandma always picks me up on daycare. It is a slow learning process, only older elementary school children can understand that 3 p.m. is earlier than 5 p.m. Anticipation contributes to this learning process.
And then there’s the flow thing. This is that coveted state where we are one with what we are doing. Because parents often have to do many things at the same time, it is difficult for them to hit the flow point. Prepare a zoom conference, follow the daycare WhatsApp group, make soup for dinner. Multitasking is the natural enemy of flow.
Children are observers in the here and now
Children, on the other hand, are naturally gifted flowers. They watch patiently, oblivious to the world around them. They repeat what they enjoy, over and over again. The slow growing slime trail of the slug on its way to the swing, very interesting! You don’t need more than the here and now for the wonderful feeling of being with yourself. I feed my plush pengu invisible soup, therefore I am. I watch the raindrops drip down the window pane, so I am.
But then Uschi from daycare wants everyone to get together for lunch in no time. Or dad reminds you of the sandals, he wants to go to the supermarket. And already it’s over with the I’m-all-with-me.
Tight adult time planning and childish immersion contradict each other. Could it be different? Wouldn’t we, the adults, often have more leeway if we didn’t constantly rush ourselves (out of habit?)? Sometimes it’s just about the few minutes that the two-year-old needs to quickly stow the building blocks in the doll’s bed before brushing his teeth. Wouldn’t they be in there?
Parents should not follow their children’s schedule
Adults should not only follow children and their tact. It’s not even possible. Everyday life has to be overcome, and sometimes seven minutes is just too long – the S-Bahn doesn’t wait. And yes, even the most talented little dawdlers need to learn that other people have other important agendas.
But the constant rush, all the rushing. Sometimes the slower solution would work. The child flows like this on the sofa. Mom is pushing, the play coffee date with the mother from the day care center starts in twenty minutes. She can get the moaning child off the sofa and put it in the jacket against its will. But she could also wait until she voluntarily climbs off the sofa and hops to the elevator in a good mood. In the fifteen minutes it takes, she could text: Sorry, it’ll be a little late, kid dawdling. There’s a strong possibility that two emojis will come back: one grinning and one rolling their eyes. Children and time, the thing with the arrow and the dot. A philosophical topic that parents are familiar with. Not just in theory.
Waiting was and is not Sabine Maus’ forte. If she forced herself to do it, she was rewarded with cheerful sons.
