You won’t believe me, but every Cameroonian has a list of criteria to characterize the sketch of his ideal woman. And that’s unfortunately why some people remain eternally single…
The portrait of a childless woman
You won’t believe me, but I’m looking for a woman without children. And yet it is almost impossible, since all Cameroonian women are devirginized from the age of fourteen! All Cameroonian adolescents have abortions when they are sixteen or eighteen years old, and all girls in Douala and Yaoundé have already had a successful birth by the age of nineteen and a half…
The portrait of my wife, I probably need to see it again. Because if I’m looking for a woman who will become a primiparous with my first child and deliver by cesarean section, I’m missing the point! I am therefore obliged to accept coming across an old rombière who has already given birth to at least four children, or a young twenty-three year old who had given birth “by accident” when she was in the fourth grade. . Or worse, I can also come across a rococo who has already had several children whom she had abandoned with her grandmother in the village; but as her stomach is still flat, she will have the opportunity to lie to me that “Darling Coco, I really want to have my first child with you because I am convinced that you are really the man of my life… »
The sketch of an intelligent woman
I sometimes dream of marrying a super-intelligent woman, but not too much! Because I hate long pencils, I hate wives who look at the 8 p.m. news before going to reheat my food, and above all I hate women who are enrolled in a doctoral course or in a cycle of research…
I caricature. But this is to say that men like women who are brilliant but who are not too intellectualistic. You can become an intelligent woman, but you must first remain an interesting woman. Men prefer women who have a sense of organization, who are wise guides and advisors in their spouses’ projects, and especially women who are driven by great wisdom and wise control. Men are rather put off by women who arm-wrestle them, who vehemently confront them with contradictory arguments, and who carry around their large diplomas with an impression of assertive condescension.
No, no and no again!
I dream of an intelligent and even knowledgeable woman, of course, but above all I am talking about emotional and behavioral intelligence. The kind of intelligence that will make me feel fulfilled and more respected and considered.
I have no requirements on tribality
For the tribe eh, I don’t care! I am one of those who think that the tribe does not really matter in a life as a couple. Besides, I have already gone out with Betis girls, Bassa’a, Mbororos, Anglos, Pygmies, Yabassiennes, Banens and of course with my Bamileke sisters. I am for mixing cultures, for “mixing” if you like, and on this point I will probably never be a bad Cameroonian.
The portrait of my wife, eh, it is mainly materialized by character traits. I don’t want to know if her father and grandfather will be naughty dogs, I especially want to know if she will be sincere towards me when declaiming her romantic feelings. I want a woman who loves me, and whom I love first and foremost, but on condition that the dowry that her parents will set for me is not prohibitive either. […]
I’m not a tribalist, in short, since I’ve already managed to get by with a few sawa girls here in Douala. But if the road to his village is really too complicated, I will be obliged to organize the “Knock on the door” in the nearest district capital. Because there are villages here that are so complicated, that you can even die on the way before you can arrive at the scene of your wedding ceremony…
My wife loves sex, food, going out, etc.
And these are the points on which I am ready to get married tomorrow morning, if I come across a woman who tries to satisfy all these low demands. I want a woman who knows how to make me carrots every morning, with a little vinaigrette. A woman who knows how to run a dining table and interior decoration, without forgetting who knows how to make me plantain fries with roast chicken, a bit like the wife of my best friend who lives in Dibombari and whose name is Pierre Peace Ndamè…
I’m not really a big foodie, to be honest, but I have a big appetite when it’s my sweetheart who makes me food. I want her to set the table for me before my evening meal, and to undress immediately when I have just finished my food. I dream of a woman who will be modern, a little less archaic and retrograde than me, and who will often ask me to take her to a snack bar or why not to a cabaret or nightclub.
In short, my wife’s sketch is that of a person who has already experienced a lot of the outside world, but who paradoxically has settled in to the point of knowing how to cook, do laundry, do dishes, iron, take care of elementary health, psychology, etc.
The spitting image of my wife
So you’re not going to believe me, but each Cameroonian has a very specific list of criteria to characterize the sketch of the woman of his dreams. And this is unfortunately why some people remain eternally single…
The sketch of my wife! I want a woman who is between 1.65 and 1.75 meters tall, who knows how to walk in high heels and who is naturally pretty, even when she hasn’t yet applied her makeup or the artificial filters that ‘she uses on her social networks. The sketch of my wife! I am systematically opposed to polygamy, and therefore the one I marry will be the one who understands me best, and whom I will also understand since I will have agreed to spend the rest of my life next to a single Cameroonian. The sketch of the ideal spouse, since in this country we have all the prototypes of witches, all tastes but also all colors…
Because I, for example, dream of a Cameroonian woman who does not yet have children, but I can easily fall in love with a woman who has already been divorced three times. I dream of a hyper-intelligent wife, but discernment is not characterized only by the level of school education. I am indifferent as to the tribality of my future partner, but on the condition that she loves cooking, occasional nights out and possibly unconventional sexual experiences.
Without forgetting the most important thing, I too should correspond to the sketch of her ideal man!
