Men don’t cry, men are tough, strong and dominant – these masculinity clichés don’t only exist among (cis) heterosexuals. So-called toxic masculinity, unhealthy patterns and behaviors can also be found in the queer scene. An Hour of Love looks at what gay dating looks like and how trans-masculine people deal with it.
“No fems, no feminines” – such codes can be found in many gay dating profiles. In parts of the gay community there is a hype about supposedly masculine attributes: muscles, beards and masculine appearance are fetishized.
“Until a year ago I thought I couldn’t have sex with guys that were so feminine and had nail polish on or something like that.”
Jonas, gay, from Berlin
This becomes problematic when other people are excluded or discriminated against as being too unmasculine. Jonas from Berlin also had this attitude for a long time.
“In my experience, trans men exhibit toxic behavior extremely rarely. But it does happen.”
Sexologist Jonas Hamm works a lot with trans people
Until Jonas met a guy in Madrid with nail polish and a skirt. The encounter made him rethink his idea of masculinity.
As a dark-haired man with a full beard, Hesso often experiences when dating that people project racist fantasies onto him or want to be dominated by him, he says in this episode.
Testosterone for trans men
Trans men and trans-masculine people look at the topic differently. Many people take the hormone testosterone as part of their transition in order to become more “masculine”: to have a deeper voice or to grow a beard.
“Men are not victims of their hormones.”
Sexologist Jonas Hamm works a lot with trans people
This is also what reporter Hari Sas is planning. In this episode, Hari shares concerns and thoughts with you and gets expertise from people who have already completed their transition.
Love diary: No sex is also ok
Marlin and his fiancé don’t always have the same desire for sex. In his love diary he tells how they both deal with it. And why cuddling is more important than sex.
2024-04-12 17:08:29
#gays #trans #people #deal #masculinity
