“Bombastic Surprises and Intellectual Charm: Female Prosecutors Challenge Stereotypes in New Show”

SHOCK! BOMB!

Female prosecutors with thick juicy lips are creating a show similar to “The Bachelor”, in which the priestesses of the prosecution will make bombastic surprises for the Attorney General and show the public that women with cosmetic corrections are far from empty-headed gold diggers.

“If we were gold diggers, we would have found the bars in Boyko Borisov’s drawer by now,” say the beauties.

“We are not interested in such soulless drawers, we are attracted by the drawers in the paintings of Salvador Dali” – the luxuries pout.

The Iron Ladies revealed a secret from the show. They would make bombastic surprises for the Attorney General by showing him their bombs.

“This will blow up social media! Literally blow it up!!!” – the charming intellectuals are convinced, who seem to make no difference between a literal, figurative or simply staged explosion.

Another surprise that the dazzling accusers have in store for the Chief and the viewers of the show is that they will discover an unknown painting by Leonardo da Svinci.

We’ve only been told by the accusers that the painting they’re about to find is worth millions of euros and is hidden in the dairy of a famous oligarch whose business they’re going to take because he doesn’t take good care of his art collection.

The ladies are disgusted by the low culture of the Bulgarian oligarchy. They have information that Leonardo’s painting was hidden behind some pasteurizer and smelled of brine.

“We’re going to blow her up with a hair dryer, spray and other treatments. We love Leonardo!” – the blinders also issue.

“The Gioconda” and “The Juconda”, two masterpieces of Leonardo – one painting everyone knows, the other will be taken out from behind the pasteurizer of the dairy farmer, whose business will undergo an aesthetic correction through a change of ownership.

***

Prosecutors are shocked by the vulgar reactions to their address on social networks.

They believe that the reasons for this are rooted in superficial shows like “The Bachelor”, which portray the ladies with cosmetic corrections as women of mild manners and in some sense – leeks.

“This is because men are afraid of independent women, and the prosecutor’s office is independent. Unrealized women are envious. They discuss us as if we are some kind of farts and buns. They don’t realize that tomorrow there may be a knock on their door. In Bulgaria, they confuse freedom with slobdom. And when everyone shouted: juki, ta juki! And the noses? Why doesn’t anyone comment on the corrections of our noses, lest they be hunchbacked!” – the charmers, who are big fans of Gogol’s novella “The Nose”, are bitter, on which they will improvise sketches in their aesthetic-intellectual show.

“Aesthetics is… Aesthetics is a classic in the genre! But how do you understand Gagno and Vute from Schopenhauer!” – they were fed up with peasants and simple shops of female prosecutors.

***

The female prosecutors-adrenaline stress that aesthetic procedures are a personal choice of every woman and they have nothing against, for example, the spokeswoman of the Chief Siika Mileva, who has not had a nose job or nose job done.

“And Siika is a class, no doubt! High level!” – they qualify her, not to flatter her or out of blind female solidarity. They are just being generous.

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