XAVIER LISSILLOUR
Forget the debate on “time out”, launched in The world by psychologist Caroline Goldman. Whether or not to send a child to their room is not what matters. What matters, to send him a message, is the connection, that he feels understood. This is what leads him to say, when returning home after a snack at a friend’s house: “Two things are true: you don’t want to leave your boyfriend’s house, but we’re going to go anyway. »
So says Becky Kennedy, America’s new child-rearing guru, followed on Instagram by two million subscribers, to whom she gives her advice through one-minute video clips. The psychologist must, on Monday October 2, be interviewed in public in New York by Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of Hillary and Bill – well placed to know that two truths can coexist. Becky Kennedy’s book, published in 2022, like her method and her podcast, is entitled Good Inside (“good inside”, Harper Wave, untranslated). “Good inside,” as the child who rolls on the ground remains. “Good on the inside”, like the rest of the parent who loses control. In these cases, this mother of three advises taking a deep breath (there are many situations in her videos that require taking a deep breath) and repeating to yourself: “I’m not a bad parent, I’m a good parent going through a hard time. »
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Unlike psychological mentors, who seem to keep a register of parental blunders confessed in the secrecy of their office, Becky Kennedy repeats to parents that they are doing well, that everyone has already burst a pipe. Even her, for example, the time her son came into the kitchen saying: “More chicken… yuck”, we learn in his Ted Talk (a short format online conference). Of course, it’s more flattering to hear someone say that parenting isn’t fruitcake than to wonder what else you’ve missed.
A good friend
Although she practices as a clinical psychologist in New York, where she lives, Becky Kennedy generally says ” At my house “ or ” in my house “ rather than “in my office” to refer to what she sees and hears. For example : “Do you have a child who, when you ask them to stop jumping on the couch, jumps a little harder? Me too. » Unlike the perfect mothers of social networks, her kids never appear in her videos shot on a smartphonethe device held at arm’s length – which makes it a rather good friend just one of those ideal Instagram creatures. She has already happened, we learn by following her account, to treat her kids as spoiled children or to promise them candy to get what she wanted. Both things are true: what I did sucked, and what I did doesn’t define who I am.
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2023-09-28 15:00:06
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