Since August, when the police have to fill in a special report when domestic violence is detected on call and pass it on to other services, it has become clear that seniors are a very large group of victims. For example, in Riga from August to November, 86 out of 233 reports were related to violence against seniors. When suffering in a family, these people have to choose between staying in an aggressive environment or going to a social care center.
A 78-year-old lady shared her experience, but she wanted to remain anonymous, so her name has been changed.
Vija has been living in a nursing home for two years. Before that, the lady spent four months in a shelter, but came there when, after 10 years of violence against the old lady, her grandson once again came to see her.
At first, Vija’s bag with some documents was thrown through the door of her grandson’s apartment and then Vija herself was placed in the stairwell.
“And he locked the door himself, took the keys and left. I was in the shelter because he threw me out and I had nowhere to go. And since then, I’ve only seen him twice in two years. And we haven’t had any contact anymore. Neither my daughter nor he contacts me, ”said Vija.
The aggression was long-lasting, but it started especially strongly when the lady rewrote her apartment for her daughter several years ago. She was a perpetrator of various aggressions, and her grandson initially even seemed to defend her omi. Then he became more neutral and finally started attacking himself. The daughter has gone abroad, and the grandson has remained as the owner of the apartment.
For the fact that ome can live in the property he once owned, he demanded a rent of 150 euros. One room is due for it, but the other is locked. There is a camera in Vija’s room. This was done to see what Vija was doing.
But Viju was thrown out of the apartment at a time when she could not pay the rent within the required time, promising to do so in a few days.
At the moment, Vija feels relatively better in the nursing home, but she has not forgotten the violence.
Vija remembered: “I was beaten all the time, I went to the hospitals. I have both hands broken, my hips – they pulled me out of bed. I said, “Ivetiņi, don’t pull me out of bed, my hip.” Nothing can happen to you. Calling. The teeth were beaten. Everything you could do. Her words were, “that you would just explode, that you would be beaten.”
Violence against seniors is a very little talked about issue. Sovita Rudoviča, the director of the social care center “Mežciems”, has such experience.
“Often we see that they are experiencing something internally, they may be excited about someone’s visits, visits from relatives. Often it is after visiting grandchildren, after visiting children,” Rudoviča explained.
Thus, domestic violence tends to continue in the care institution as well. And it is difficult to stop, because help can only be given if a person asks or allows it.
The director said that seniors also suffer from the violence of relatives within the walls of the nursing home: “We have had cases when a daughter’s visit is every meal, every day when the old man receives a pension. Then it turned out that even [pusdienas], even a piece of soap is taken, the money due to that old man. And, of course, when we noticed it and saw that the person was crying in the pillow, we asked because we understood and guessed what was going on, and then, yes, with the permission of this old man, we denied that person to come. “
Iveta Valaine, Deputy Head of the Coordination Office of the State Police (VP), explained that in nine months out of 360 decisions on separation, parents were injured in 16 cases, while grandparents were injured in 2% of adult grandchildren.
Most often, a woman suffers from her son or grandson, but there are also other cases when, for example, the abuser is a granddaughter, but the victim is a grandfather. Often, violence takes place on retirement days – it can be intimidation or, for example, physical violence.
Meanwhile, in the Welfare Department of the Riga City Council, alcohol has been observed in almost all situations of violence against seniors, and not only.
Marina Filipova, Deputy Head of the Riga Social Service, said: “Now that we receive these reports from the police, we see that
of the 233 reports received, 86 cases involved violence against a senior, either by spouses or family members. And in all cases, the abuser has been under the influence of alcohol or other substances, and thus he has been physically violent in the use of force, as well as emotionally violent. “
Ms Vija, who has been the victim of violence, was asked why she tried to contact her relatives after the crime. She replied that she did not want any relationship with them. He just wants to look him in the eye and ask why he did it after devoting so much time and helping his daughter and grandson.
Vija is a believer and believes that everyone receives merit. This, as well as shame, and the unwillingness to ruin the life of the grandson, may have been factors that prevented even more active action against the perpetrators in a legal way.
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