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In the latest episode of therapy presenter Bart Schols talks about his biological mother, who took his own life when he was 13 years old. She was addicted to tranquilizers and alcohol. He also talks about the pitch black period he went through a few years ago.
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Eline Debie
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Schols went into therapy because of “an acute crisis in the relational sphere”, he says. “At one point I became overgrown with fear. It was so intense that I couldn’t be alone anymore. I slept on a mattress with a comrade and he had to sleep on the couch next to me because I couldn’t be alone.”
Back to the past
It was not the first time that Schols had found himself in such a period, so he recognized it. “But I realized that if I really wanted to make something of my life, if I wanted a family and stability, this time I really had to get it looked at.” So he went to see a psychiatrist.
What Schols had to get looked at were childhood traumas. Together with his psychiatrist, the journalist returned to the period between his second and fourteenth year of life, on the basis of so-called schema therapy. During that period, everything went wrong. “My mother committed suicide when I was thirteen years old, my father was an alcoholic and occasionally violent,” says Schols. The basic needs of a child, such as safety and security, were all but met in Bart’s childhood.
from the planet
Schols says that his mother was addicted to the sedative Lexotan. “She drank that then. When she arrived at my foster parents, she was often completely off the planet. That is very threatening for a child.”
“She would then say, ‘You won’t be bothered by me anymore’. I think it was the night before her death that I replied, ‘Yes, mother, you do it’. Eventually you can’t take it anymore. You can’t deal with that as a thirteen-year-old.” At 4 am the police were at the door: Bart’s mother had thrown herself into the water, as she announced earlier. “When that happens at a time like this, it’s not the best lesson to be open about what you’re feeling.”
What he went through continues to affect his adult life. That’s why Schols is still in therapy. “Especially when it comes to a stable relational life, I didn’t make much of it. The rest of my life is in order. More or less. Therapy is then good to know the reason why you keep destroying things.”
If you have questions about suicide, you can contact the Suicide Line on the toll-free number 1813 and www.zelfmoord1813.be.
Therapy, Tuesday at 9.15 pm on Canvas or now on VRT NU.
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