Nowadays, more and more people seem to be joining them open-minded about other types of relationships than the traditional monogamous relationship. What role does your attachment style play in this?
In addition to the monogamous relationship, where you enter into a relationship with one person, there are also other options for going through life with someone. For example, consider one open relationship of polyamorous relationship. Your attachment style can play a role in whether or not you are open to dating non-monogamous relationship.
This is what your attachment style says about the type of relationship that suits you
So there are different types of relationships and your attachment style can say something about your view of non-monogamous relationships. But what attachment styles are there actually?
What attachment styles are there actually?
There are four different attachment styles. The first is secure attachment. If you securely attached you trust yourself and others. As a child you were close to your parents and in your later love relationships you now also experience that you are close to your partner.
The second way you can be attached is anxious-obsessive. You want a lot confirmation from your partner, because you are afraid of being abandoned. This can also make it more difficult to be there for your partner. This can arise if you were raised by unpredictable parents.
Third you can avoidantly attached are. You have difficulty expressing your feelings because you think they will be responded to negatively. This may be due to distant parents who did not give you the space to express your feelings. That makes you bad independent and you expect little from love.
Finally, you can anxious-avoidant to be attached. This style can also arise from distant parents. As a result, you no longer trust yourself and others. You may have a strong need for love and be looking for it, but not have the confidence that you are really worth it.
People with this attachment style are more likely to choose a non-monogamous relationship
Can you link your relationship type to your attachment style? According to Tila Pronk, social psychologist and who works at the University of Tilburg, this is certainly possible. In the series ‘Modern love‘ from Utrecht University, she and other scientists discussed the modern love.
“Your attachment style predicts the choice of a non-monogamous relationship,” Pronk explains. “If people naturally have a great need for sexuality, open views talk about sex and actually separate sex from love, they are more likely to choose a non-monogamous relationship. But only if they are securely attached.”
So there are a number of things that, according to Pronk, play a role in the preference for a non-monogamous relationship. If there is one secure attachment style in combination with these aspects, it can lead to a non-monogamous relationship.
“Only when you have the feeling that I am basically securely attached, I feel safe with my partner, there is stabilitythen I dare to choose a form of relationship that meets my sexual needs,” says Pronk.
According to Pronk, people with a secure attachment style are more likely to choose a non-monogamous relationship than people with an insecure attachment style.
How are you attached? The guide with everything you want to know about attachment styles
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2023-12-26 06:33:57
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