Red jacket over a shirt, blue like his big eyes. And also blue like the sky above Piazza delle Muse: the “Pariolino” heart of the capital from which he chose to start again by reopening the ‘Parnaso’ bar, a place that in the 1980s and 1990s was “the place” for the kids of Northern Rome . Arianna Rapaccioni, Sinisa Mihajlovic’s widow, took it over at the end of the summer. And it is there, sitting in front of a large window, that he tells us about his life next to the “strongest left foot in the world” (cit. Sven Goran Eriksson). To the defender who, after being the icon of his Red Star in Belgrade, landed at Roma and then won everything in the years at Sampdoria and Lazio: the good years and the very hard ones, those spent fighting leukemia while coaching Bologna.
Arianna Mihajlovic, there is already a Christmas feeling around…
“And it doesn’t make me happy. Sinisa passed away on December 16, 2022. And even that day in Rome, while we were all around his bed, everything was sparkling in the city.”
How have these two years been?
“Difficult. And this second one, worse than the first. At first I was in shock, I almost didn’t realize that Sinisa was no longer there. It seemed to me that at any moment he might call me from Bologna. ‘I love’ ‘, he called me like that, in a Roman dialect dipped in Slavic ‘Tomorrow I arrive in Rome, you make me pasta and beans. Spicy huh?’. He loved the oxtail, the amatriciana… Mondays were spent in grocery stores and butcheries. Sinisa loved life in all its nuances…”.
And now what does he do on Monday?
“I go out, see friends. Which since I became a widow have become an integral part of my family. Starting with Alessandro De Rosa, the partner with whom I launched into this new business. Which is saving my life a little. And to think that I had never set foot here in my life.”
Really?
“I’m not from Parioli: I’m from Trullo, a western suburb of Rome. At first I was ashamed to say it, when I knew people. Now I’m proud of it. I am the daughter of an Atac driver and a knitter, hence my passion for crochet. Living at the Trullo was hard: I saw people die of drugs, commit suicide. Since I was a little girl I have always taken care of my family of origin, who also had to deal with my brother’s psychiatric illness. But the suburbs gave me the strength to always fight. ‘I’m leaving here’, I thought as a little girl. And so it was. I wanted to be a doctor, but then by pure chance I started doing fashion shows, then auditions for programs. ‘Funfair’, ‘Those who play football’… But when I met Sinisa I put work aside. I wanted him and I wanted a family.”
A large family: five children.
“Yes! And they all want to graduate, some are very close. Viktorija, 27 years old, works in Maria De Filippi’s editorial office. Virginia, 26, deals with social media and is married to Alessandro Vogliacco who plays for Genoa. Miroslav, having obtained his license in Coverciano, coaches Bologna’s under 15 team. Then there is Dusan, 22 years old, he collaborates with a company that deals with sports and footballers. And finally Nikolas Maria, who is 17 years old and attends sports high school.”
I see that football is still the protagonist in the Mihajlovic house…
“My children are in love with football: they support Lazio and go to the stadium. I struggle, however, and then you know what… I’m a Roma player who became a Lazio player out of love.”
It happens, Ilary Blasi went the other way for Francesco Totti…
“Yes, except now I think she’s back in the blue and white!”. (Laughs)
What kind of father was Sinisa?
“A father who made his presence felt even if he was often far away. He changed diapers, gave baths, but gave rules. After all, he had grown up with training. So he didn’t go out of his way: he went to bed early. I, on the other hand, was the one who said ‘Come on, dad’s not here today! Let’s watch TV until late.’ It was so hard for them… but they are my strength. I promised Sinisa this to him on his deathbed. ‘Now go,’ I said, shaking his hand, ‘I’ll take care of the boys.’ Only then did he leave… It was the strongest, most terrible and intense moment I have ever felt. We were all around him, me, the children, his best friend, my mother, his mother. After I took my last breath, there was a strength in that room that I couldn’t describe. We all finally cried the tears we hadn’t been able to shed before. We had swallowed the pain so as not to make him understand that there was nothing left to do.”
Have you ever had any regrets about hiding the truth from him?
“No, it was a choice made together with the boys. Sinisa needed too much to think that he would have a tomorrow. He first had a positive attitude. When he did the tests he checked them, but then he didn’t sit there and think about it. When someone asked him how he felt, he also acted a little distracted. And he turned to me: ‘I love, what disease do I have?’ And I said: ‘Acute myeloid leukemia.’ Consider that before his last hospitalization he was planning to go to London to see Antonio Conte, he wanted to understand what it means to coach in England. I believe that showing up without giving in too much was his way of protecting us and for us to protect him.”
How did you meet?
“In Rome, in a friend’s restaurant. A stroke of love at first sight. I looked at his eyes and found them incredible.”
Sinisa said of her: “I saw her and thought: I want to marry her!”
“But he didn’t try for two months. We went out together… but nothing. I was also a bit strange.”
What united you?
“Family, we wanted lots of children. And then our origins, both coming from humble families. Sinisa told me that as a child, in the former Yugoslavia, they didn’t even have hot water. But unlike me he knew the horrors of war, the civil war. With a Croatian mother and a Serbian father, he found himself with his uncle who wanted to slaughter his father and his best friend, a Croatian, who tore down his parents’ house with grenades…”.
What was his character?
“He was respectable, frank, good. Not a joke type, the kind that makes you laugh out loud. At first I never understood what he felt. ‘Are you happy? Are you sad, what’s wrong with you?’ I asked him angrily. And he’s like, ‘Nothing… I’m fine.’ He never said to me, ‘I love you.’ It was like this between us from the beginning, he showed me his love through deeds. And I did the same. We ran away from fuss. But lately I wanted to remind him that I loved him all the time, but I couldn’t. I was afraid he would understand that the situation was worsening. But one of the last days, we told each other with a ruse. He was in the clinic, the oncologist Marchetti had come to visit him. ‘Thank you Paolo, I love you,’ she told him as the doctor left. ‘What about me?’ I jumped at the chance: ‘I love you, it’s different’. Me too,’ I replied. I couldn’t wait.”
The moment he was happiest.
“When our children were born, among other things he always wanted to be present at the birth. And then he was happy when he returned to Serbia, to his mother.”
And in 2000, when he won the scudetto with Lazio?
“Delighted. Those of Cragnotti’s Lazio were the best years for me too, we had already had our first two children and bought the house. I remember that day at the Olimpico as if it were yesterday, the anxiety, the wait to find out what was happening in Perugia. The match against Juventus had been interrupted due to rain and winning or losing the championship depended on that result. And in the end, Italian champions! The blue-white city was crazy with joy. The team celebrated together with their wives and girlfriends at the Casina di Macchia Madama. Then they wanted to organize an encore: an evening just for footballers. And do you know what happened? I still have a sense of guilt…”.
What happened?
“I didn’t send it to us. I was jealous…We argued and in the end he gave in: he stayed at home with me.”
But poor Sinisa! Of course, she’s tough too.
“I regret it. But in hindsight it’s easy to talk…”
In these two years you have posted many photos on social media, songs, words, thoughts…
“Yes, exposing myself doesn’t embarrass me, I too have been part of the world of TV. Some people criticize me for this. But writing down how I feel helps me, it’s therapeutic. And many people who are going through the pain of a loss give me advice and I give it to them.”
In one of his posts: “Courage is that of three in the morning”.
“Yes, because it’s the time when you’re alone with yourself. But after a while the light filters in, you hear that someone is busy making coffee in the kitchen and life starts again. It’s hard, I don’t know how many times I don’t want to get out of bed.”
Do you feel owed or indebted to life?
“Do you know I never thought about it? But yes, I was lucky. I realized myself as a woman, I had the man of my life next to me, five splendid children… And then the beauty of all those kisses he sent me when he scored a goal.”
Do you ever dream about it, Sinisa?
“Unfortunately not. I would like. But at first I felt strange sensations at home: the mattress next to me was sinking, I sometimes heard the sound of his slippers on the floor. One thing, however, keeps happening to me: I constantly see 19, a number that somehow binds our family. His funeral was on December 19th, my mother and my first daughter were born on the 19th… Well, now I’m talking to her and I notice that writing on the wall, ‘1960’. It’s the 19th there too… Do I check the time on my phone? You can be sure that he appears on the 19th. To have some company I got a kitten. In the adoption paperwork the vet wrote that I can pick him up on the 19th. Who knows if that’s a sign…”.
How are you trying to grieve?
“I got help from an analyst. My friends also helped me. Federica Morelli, Roberto Mancini’s ex-wife. Fabiola Sciabbarrasi, Pino Daniele’s ex-wife. Daniela Orsi who is the wife of Nando Orsi, another ex of Lazio. And my childhood friend, Arianna Iacomelli”.
And the fans?
“I had a crazy affection from them, I continue! Bologna’s management was also splendid: they paid Sinisa’s salary until the end of the contract, even though he was already dead. From Lotito, however, I expected more. Not for me, but for my son… who is a coach. They could have given him a chance. Sinisa gave a lot to Lazio.”
On Instagram he also wrote “When life knocks you down, you roll over and look at the stars.” What are his stars to look up to?
“My two grandchildren, Violante and Leone Sinisa. Violante has his grandfather’s sulk, while Leone – who was born in September – is a photocopy.”
Where is your husband buried?
“In Rome, at Verano. But I don’t feel it there. At home, I haven’t taken anything off yet, including clothes. I can’t do it. And when I want to feel close to him I look at the painting that Dicò gave me, a pop artist that I love very much. It’s in the living room: in the center there is Sinisa kicking, the background is made up of the shirts of all his teams. On one side, there is the flat cap. I turn it on and I feel less alone.”
The words of Sinisa who doesn’t let go.
“’After the rain comes sunshine’”. He always said it. And with the same pronunciation as Boskov…”.
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