An important tip from the first date experts for couples in whose relationship cancer is present –

Hanna Myllymaa and Kari Kanala arrived together at the TTK audience on Sunday. Atte Kajova

First date at the altar pastor familiar from the program Kari Kanalaa and couples therapist Hanna Myllymaata have one thing in common: both mothers have had cancer. The same reason brought them Dancing with the stars to the audience of the Pink Ribbon episode of the program.

Kanala’s mother got cancer when the man was 16 years old. Fortunately, the mother’s cancer was found in time, but it still affected the young man very much.

– My mother felt a lump in her breast and went to photograph it. The doctor asked if another one would be filmed. It was photographed and the other one had cancer. The doctor’s question was resolved, Kanala tells Iltalehte

– That autumn there was a thought about death, he adds.

Kanala’s mother is now dead, which according to the pastor was not caused by cancer.

Myllymaa’s mother, on the other hand, has had cancer several times. He was 4 years old when his mother was first diagnosed with cancer. Myllimaa remembers that she only realized at that time that her mother would not necessarily return from the hospital.

– But everything is fine now. He is still alive and will soon turn 80, he says.

Myllymaa feels that the experience did not leave him with a fear of cancer. However, he pays more attention to his own health. Myllymaa has only realized the things she went through with her mother’s cancer diagnosis later.

– In the 80s, it was not yet strong how feelings were talked about. Talking about things and the need for support only came later more through school healthcare or counseling services. Surely then there should have been more discussion about the matter and to create that understanding, he states.

Kanala also feels that she didn’t necessarily get enough support amid her mother’s cancer battle.

– Maybe at a later stage, some things started to fall apart. But during that autumn I lived in a fog. I was able to share it when I talked about it with my parish priest and the youth worker, says the pastor.

The two are known for helping First date at the altar – couples in the midst of challenges. Now they give tips to those couples in whose relationship cancer is present.

– The important message for them is that there is always hope. We make the most of life and dare to go boldly towards our dreams. In addition, open discussion is the most important thing, and being able to talk about your feelings, says Myllymaa.

– The elements of a good relationship are connection, support and importance. In a way, illness can also increase connection because it increases support. In my opinion, when the disease is present, each day is given its own strength. It doesn’t help but to live every day in the here and now, Kanala emphasizes.