Amber’s Struggle: Regretting Motherhood and the Challenges of Unwanted Parenthood

ire Netherlands and has been translated and adapted for an English-speaking audience.

Woman Opens Up About Regretting Motherhood: “I Didn’t Want to Be a Mother”

Amber, a 36-year-old woman, recently shared her story about regretting motherhood. In a candid interview, she admitted that becoming a mother was more of a curse than a blessing for her.

Amber revealed that she had a child because her ex-partner wanted to be a father desperately. However, she now admits that she never wanted to be a mother at all. “I love my daughter unconditionally, but I regret becoming a mother. If only I had listened to my own feelings,” she said.

Amber’s journey into motherhood began when she met Paul, a man she started dating at the age of 23. Although she wasn’t head over heels in love with him, she saw him as an opportunity to leave her unpleasant home environment. Paul’s family provided the love and attention she had been missing from her own parents.

When Paul expressed his desire to have children, Amber agreed to stop taking birth control. She believed that having children was expected of her as a woman in a relationship. Additionally, Paul’s interactions with his nieces and nephews made him seem like the perfect father.

However, getting pregnant proved to be difficult for Amber and Paul. As their relationship deteriorated, Paul became increasingly jealous and possessive. Eventually, their relationship ended after six years together. It was during this tumultuous time that Amber discovered she was pregnant.

Feeling overwhelmed and unprepared, Amber initially considered terminating the pregnancy. However, her mother and ex-partner insisted that she take responsibility for the child. With the added stress of losing her job, Amber was forced to move back in with Paul.

Throughout her pregnancy, Amber struggled with the lack of maternal feelings. She felt disconnected from the child growing inside her and doubted whether she would ever develop the love and bond that mothers often talk about. Her friends organized a baby shower, but it only heightened her anxiety and feelings of unease.

In March 2011, Amber gave birth to her daughter, Rose. However, the expected rush of unconditional love did not come. Holding her daughter for the first time, Amber felt like she was holding someone else’s child. She realized that she was not ready for motherhood.

Amber’s journey as a mother has been filled with ups and downs. She eventually found her own home and a new job in healthcare, but her ex-partner became the primary caregiver due to his natural parenting abilities. Amber sees her daughter more as a little sister and still experiences moments of depression and detachment.

Reflecting on her experience, Amber believes that her own upbringing and lack of love from her parents influenced her feelings towards motherhood. She doesn’t want her daughter to ever feel unwanted, but she admits that she is sorry for not wanting her and not always feeling wanted herself.

Amber’s story serves as a reminder that not all women are meant to be mothers and that it’s important to listen to one’s own feelings and instincts. She encourages other women in similar situations to follow their gut and consider options such as adoption or abortion if they are unsure about becoming mothers.

Amber’s honesty and vulnerability shed light on the complex emotions and challenges that some women face when it comes to motherhood. Her story serves as a reminder that motherhood is not always a one-size-fits-all experience and that it’s essential to prioritize one’s own well-being and happiness.

Title: Motherhood Regret: A Woman’s Candid Reflection on Unwanted Parenthood

Subtitle: Amber’s Story Sheds Light on the Struggles of Unwanted Motherhood

Date: June 25, 2023

Amber, a 36-year-old woman, opens up about her experience of becoming a mother against her own wishes. In a heartfelt confession, she reveals the challenges and regrets she has faced since having a child with her ex-partner, Paul.

Amber admits, “I didn’t want to be a mother at all.” Despite her ex’s strong desire to become a father, motherhood has been more of a curse than a blessing for her. She now dares to speak her truth, shedding light on the often-taboo topic of regretting parenthood.

The story begins when Amber, at the age of 23, met Paul through work. Although she wasn’t deeply in love with him, she saw their relationship as an opportunity to escape a difficult home environment. Paul’s caring nature and his family’s kindness provided the love and attention she had longed for.

When Paul expressed his wish to have children, Amber, influenced by societal expectations, agreed to stop taking birth control. She believed it was the natural progression of their relationship and saw Paul’s interactions with children as a sign of his potential as a father.

However, getting pregnant proved to be a challenge for the couple, and their relationship began to deteriorate. Paul’s increasing jealousy and possessiveness pushed Amber away emotionally. As their six-year relationship came to an end, Amber found herself pregnant and without a stable living situation.

Overwhelmed by the unexpected pregnancy, Amber felt trapped and unsupported. Her ex’s initial shock and subsequent desire to keep the baby added to her stress. With her mother insisting that she had to take responsibility for the child, Amber reluctantly continued the pregnancy.

Throughout her pregnancy, Amber struggled with the lack of maternal feelings. She felt disconnected from the growing life inside her and doubted whether she would ever develop the unconditional love that society often associates with motherhood. Her friends’ excitement and the baby shower organized for her only heightened her anxiety and discomfort.

In March 2011, Amber gave birth to her daughter, Rose. Holding her for the first time, Amber’s fears were confirmed. She didn’t experience the overwhelming love that mothers often describe. Instead, she felt unprepared and unsure of her ability to be a mother.

As time went on, Amber’s depressive feelings intensified. She sought help from a psychologist, who prescribed antidepressants and provided some relief. However, Amber couldn’t bring herself to admit that she didn’t want her own child, fearing judgment and condemnation.

Eventually, Amber found her own home and a new job in healthcare. She and her ex agreed to shared custody, but Rose spent more time with her father, who seemed to possess a natural aptitude for parenting. Amber describes her relationship with Rose as more of a sisterly bond rather than a traditional mother-daughter connection.

Despite her love for Rose, Amber still experiences moments of regret and depression. Picking her up from her ex’s house can be emotionally challenging, and she sometimes struggles to reciprocate her daughter’s affectionate gestures. Amber acknowledges the sacrifices she has made as a mother and mourns the life and freedom she feels she has lost.

Amber believes her own upbringing, marked by a lack of love and being labeled an accident, has influenced her feelings towards motherhood. She is determined not to let her daughter feel unwanted, even though she admits that she still struggles with fully embracing her role as a mother.

In sharing her story, Amber hopes to encourage other women in similar situations to trust their instincts and consider all available options. She emphasizes that it is okay not to want children and that adoption or abortion can be valid choices. Looking back, Amber wonders why she didn’t consider adoption, believing it may have been a better outcome for both her and Rose.

As Amber continues her journey as a mother, she grapples with the societal expectations and her own conflicting emotions. She hopes that by speaking out, she can contribute to a more open and understanding dialogue about the complexities of motherhood and the importance of honoring one’s own desires and feelings.

Note: This article originally appeared in Marie Claire in December 2021.

In what ways did Amber’s own upbringing influence her feelings towards motherhood?

And provided therapy to help her navigate her complicated emotions. Amber’s journey as a mother has been filled with ups and downs.

Eventually, Amber found her own home and a new job in healthcare, but her ex-partner, Paul, became the primary caregiver due to his natural parenting abilities. Amber still sees her daughter as more of a little sister and continues to experience moments of depression and detachment.

Reflecting on her experience, Amber recognizes that her own upbringing and lack of love from her parents influenced her feelings towards motherhood. She does not want her daughter to ever feel unwanted, but she acknowledges her own regrets for not wanting her and not always feeling wanted herself.

Amber’s story serves as a reminder that not all women are meant to be mothers. It highlights the importance of listening to one’s own feelings and instincts when making choices about parenthood. She encourages women in similar situations to trust their gut and consider alternative options such as adoption or abortion if they are unsure about their readiness for motherhood.

Amber’s honesty and vulnerability shed light on the complex emotions and challenges that some women face when it comes to motherhood. Her story serves as a reminder that motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all experience and emphasizes the need to prioritize one’s own well-being and happiness.

Amber’s candid reflection on unwanted motherhood brings attention to a topic that is often silenced or stigmatized. By sharing her story, she hopes to create a space for open dialogue and understanding, ultimately making it easier for women who regret becoming mothers to find support and empathy.