In recent years, many marriages have broken down, the divorce rate has increased, and people have become more and more comfortable with divorce. If you find your partner is not good or not suitable for you, divorce to find new happiness. And me too.
During my first marriage, I thought I found the perfect partner, we fell in love and started a wonderful life after marriage.
However, gradually I began to feel that this marriage was becoming more and more boring and conflicts between husband and wife were increasing because my husband earned little money and was not financially stable. Then, I got divorced.
The second time she got married, she married a man with a successful career but he often traveled on business. So all the housework, taking care of the children, and taking care of both sides of the family are all my responsibility alone. This made me feel helpless, tired, even if I had a husband, then gradually I developed a mentality of hating my husband, hating my family and then getting divorced.
In my third marriage, I found a man who was younger than me and talented. I hope this marriage will help me regain faith in love and marriage, as well as make me regain the enthusiasm of youth.
But, I gradually discovered that the age difference leads to differences in habits, lifestyle and thinking. I always feel that my husband cannot understand my thoughts and feelings, and also feel that I am not worthy of him.
However, this time I did not rush into divorce, but gradually realized the truths in marriage.
(Illustration)
1. No one is perfect, so in marriage, sometimes what you lack is not a good husband, but the problem is you
No one is perfect when they are born. Love is the growth of two flawed people working together to change and improve themselves.
Even you are the same, you are not perfect. So why demand perfection from the other half? In marriage, sometimes what you lack is not a good husband, but the problem is you. It’s because you don’t know enough, you have the mentality of standing on this mountain and looking at that mountain. It’s easy to love and also easy to get bored.
People are happy in marriage, not because they meet the perfect lover, but because they learn to forgive each other’s flaws and discover the preciousness of each other. If you don’t know how to control your emotions, no matter how good your husband is, your eyes will sometimes be filled with flaws.
2. If a marriage wants to be happy, both partners must work together and maintain it
Marriage is not simply about finding a perfect partner, it requires both parties to work together and maintain it. In marriage, both husband and wife need to devote themselves to themselves and their family, not just rely on the other person.
A house needs a couple to build and family members to decorate. If only one person builds it and the other person sits there enjoying it or destroying it, that home will quickly perish.
Only when husband and wife do everything together and join hands in building a family will they understand each other’s hardships better, thereby appreciating the other half and being more responsible for the family.
(Illustration)
3. Don’t just focus on your own needs, but pay attention to your other half’s feelings
When getting married, many people always calculate what their other half has done for them, what they will receive after getting married, and even think that if they don’t choose him that day but choose someone else, maybe they will have more money. a better life. In general, they only know how to make demands on the other half, see if the other half can meet their needs or not, and ignore the other person’s feelings.
A good marriage needs to be built on mutual respect and understanding. If you only think about yourself and don’t know how to respect, understand, and be tolerant, you will hurt your other half’s heart and your marriage will easily break.
It’s better to put yourself in your other half’s position to feel it, and at the same time try to find common ground between the two of you to talk about, to increase the connection between husband and wife.
When encountering problems, husband and wife should also tell each other about their feelings and thoughts, and then find a solution. This way, the problem will become easier and both will not be inhibited, leading to an outbreak of conflict in the marriage. Only then will the marriage last.
