By Anna Broekman·1 hour ago·Modified: 14 minutes ago
RTL
In this weekly column, people talk about something they don’t want to experience, do or never do again. This week: Rosanna (45) was shocked when she had a severe epileptic attack out of nowhere two years ago. The reason for this was even more serious: she turned out to have two brain tumors. “I refused to write goodbye letters.”
“I already sounded the alarm to my doctor in 2016. I was constantly suffering from headaches and migraines, and when I was jumping on the trampoline with my youngest son, it was like I felt something going back and forth. in my head the hospital I got an MRI scan, but it didn’t show anything.
When I asked the neurologist if I could have another scan in five years, I was refused. That was only allowed if I had serious objections. Strange when you consider that six years later I received a terrible diagnosis.”
“It was about a quarter past five in the morning, my eldest son’s birthday. I was still sleeping and suddenly I had a bad epileptic attack. My husband was already awake because He had to go to work. He suddenly saw me attacking him.
I didn’t get any of that myself. I remember fragments: that two ambulance workers were standing by my bed, and that I was embarrassed because I passed urine during that attack. I had to go by ambulance. In the emergency room I had to walk in a straight line, which was impossible. I drove like I was drunk. Then I got a CT scan and an MRI.”
Two tumors
“The neurologist, a nice young woman, came to my bedside and gave me the news: I had two tumors in my head, a large one in the front left and a smaller one behind my right eye. I was very surprised, but I was shocked and didn’t cry. Feelings are late It’s not easy for me anyway.
That also gave me confidence in a good result. But of course I was worried. I had just become a grandmother and I would babysit two days a week in addition to working three days. I saw that go up in smoke.”
“I had to wait three months for the operation to remove the huge 5.7 centimeter tumor. That waiting time was horrible. It made me relax and I was afraid I would have another epileptic attack. Besides, I wanted to get rid of that tumor.” take my head.
It was a dangerous procedure and I was afraid of how I would come out of that operation. Something just went wrong… I thought I should write goodbye letters, just in case. But in the end I didn’t. This had to go well, I had to live here for my children and my grandchild.”
No radiation
“Fortunately the four-hour operation went well, the tumor was removed. The smaller tumor behind my eye cannot be treated because of its location. Radiation was also not recommended. The tumor is very small and does not cause any damage now. nerves are severely damaged during radiation, I could go blind, I didn’t want to take that risk.
So it was decided, in consultation with the neurosurgeon, to monitor the tumor every year with an MRI scan. The tumor is now stable. But it is always behind him. As soon as I feel stitches or have blurred vision, I worry that the tumor has grown. I have to learn to live with that uncertainty.”
“I can only hold my grandchildren to a small extent. I’m a young grandmother and I didn’t expect to feel so old.”
“It was and is difficult to overcome. I spent three months in outpatient rehabilitation with a psychiatrist, occupational therapist, physiotherapist and social worker. I’m still not what I used to be and I never will be again. I am very motivated.
Tired after an hour of conversation
“I am now taking a training course to learn to deal with my loss. The old Rosanna is not coming back. That is difficult, because I want to be able to do everything to do it again. I have to take into account my limited energy. After an hour of chatting with a friend, I sometimes don’t remember where I parked. my car and my condition is much less than before.
I still meet myself. I don’t want to be sick, poor Rosanna. My job as an administrative assistant is no longer working, the numbers are dancing before my eyes. It is not possible to read a book and I can only pay attention to my grandchildren to a small extent – I have two now. I feel guilty about that, because I like it so much. “I’m a young grandmother and I didn’t expect to feel so old.
“If the tumor grows behind my right eye, it can still be irradiated. In principle, I can grow old with it, but it is still uncertain. My head is still sensitive .I’m afraid of a brain fog or another epileptic attack, but luckily it’s going away.
I never want to experience an epileptic attack again. It’s terrible because I didn’t feel it coming at all. I like to be in control and during an attack you don’t have that at all. I don’t want to pee again and go to the hospital in the ambulance, that was really scary. If I have another attack, I have to go back on medication and I’m not allowed to drive for a while. Very inconvenient, because I live in a small town and really need a car.”
Hard reset
“The anxious feeling that there is always something hanging over my head is very unpleasant. But maybe my life needed a hard reset. I have always been at the service of others, now I can think of myself, although that is still difficult. I like my garden, the flowers, the forest and the sun and from my children and grandchildren, I think it is very important that these little ones know that I am I’m still here, that’s the most important thing. “
For privacy reasons, Rosanna’s name has been changed.
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2024-11-15 08:50:00
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