A woman in her mid-twenties stands alone with three children. She wants a bed for herself and one for one of her children. We tell their story on the occasion of the BZ Christmas wish campaign.
When Valerie L. * suddenly had to grow up, she was still very young: She became pregnant for the first time when she was 15. She is now in her mid-twenties and has three children. She needs a lot of support and that’s why she moved into a sheltered apartment. But there is a lot missing there, including furnishings: what is most urgent is a bed for her and a bed for one of the children.
Where is your home There has been no safe, secure place in Valerie L’s life for a long time: At 16, when her first baby was born, she moved out of home because she had many conflicts with her single mother. The father of their now ten-year-old child has only recently contacted him. For years, Valerie L. stood there all alone, first with the first child, and later with the other two from other fathers who also do not care about their children. At the age of 16 she moved into the first supervised facility.
All the while she tried to get a better grip on her life: she graduated from secondary school, worked and did voluntary work. For a long time she had planned to work with children, she dreamed of catching up on her Abitur and studying pedagogy.
Christmas wish campaign:
Donation account Sparkasse Freiburg-Nrdlicher Breisgau, IBAN: DE77680501010002399506, BIC: FRSPDE66XXX. Keyword “Christmas wish campaign”. Targeted donations are not possible, everything flows into a pot from which grants are then distributed.-
But all of this is difficult with her three children, especially because the youngest is only four years old and the oldest has an ADHD diagnosis and needs a lot of attention.
Up to now it has not been possible for her to work, start an apprenticeship or go back to school, says Valerie L .: On many days, at some point, a call comes from the school of the eldest child, then it has to be picked up. Employers would not understand that in the long run. In this Corona year, when school was often canceled and she had to be there for the children all the time, it was even more difficult. That is why Valerie L. does not plan to start training until next year. In the meantime she has given up all educational plans because she feels that she has to get along with her own children before she can take care of other children. Instead, she now wants to become a geriatric nurse.
Until she can work and earn money at some point, she and the children live with unemployment benefit II. Much is missing. “If I were to list everything, it would be an endless list,” says Valerie L. But one thing is clear: she urgently needs a bed.
She lay on a mattress on the floor for a long time, then moved to a used couch, but it is very uncomfortable. And their four-year-old youngest child is still in the cot, although it is too big for that.
The children want more toys
Otherwise, the new apartment has hardly been furnished, Valerie L. would like to have curtains, among other things. All in all, she is used to saving up on her own wishes so that she can give the children something more: “Instead of beautiful clothes for myself, I prefer to buy beautiful clothes for the children,” she says. The children would have a lot of wishes that they could not fulfill, especially they would like more toys. But first of all, the beds are most important.
*Name gendert
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