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With a first child growing in her womb, Franco Di Pietro, 28, is one of the pregnant people that the abortion legalization project that began to be debated in Congress talks about, since also trans men, people Intersex and gender fluid can both become pregnant and give birth and want to interrupt that process.
The mother of the child who will be born at the end of April is another trans person, Hannah Palacios (44), with whom Franco has been in a relationship for a year and three months.
“Our son was naturally gestated, as does any other cisgender couple who are looking to have a child without having to resort to assisted fertilization,” Franco said.
“It was a matter of doing all the steps, keeping stress low and looking for the date of highest fertility,” he added behind a mask from which his beard protruded.
The only difference with respect to a conventional heterosexual couple was that Franco had to “suspend the hormonal treatment” that he had been doing for about five years “and wait a few months to produce eggs again and menstruate,” he explained.
“Just then my body was prepared, because if it hadn’t been impossible,” he said while stroking her belly that still goes unnoticed.
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“If it had been with a cisgender woman, there was the possibility of insemination and her pregnant. But hey, I fell in love with Hannah, she emerged, we saw that it was possible and we gave it a go”
And although individually they had always had the desire to have children; Franco and Hannah had never imagined starting a family with another trans person, until they met and fell in love.
“Nor did I think that I was going to have to be the pregnant body, because if it had been with a cisgender woman, there was the possibility of insemination and her gestating. forward, “Franco assured.
Aware of the large number of prejudices that are still active in society and the scarce receptivity of the health system to dissident corporations, Hannah and Franco also resolved that they were willing to face all the looks and uncomfortable questions that came.
“Sometimes I say ‘I’m going to be a mom’ and some people say ‘no, you’re going to be a dad.’ Even within the same environment, when I say ‘he’s my husband and he’s pregnant’ they tell me ‘but don’t you? Did you go trans because you like cisgender men? ‘And then I explain that it does not go through the genitals, but people are still very closed, “said Hannah.
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The same happens in health centers
“When we went together to the hospital for him to do the tests, they would ask me if I was pregnant, and I would say ‘not me, him’ and they would stare at me. Also after doing one of the first ultrasounds, the doctor came out and He spoke only to me and every so often he said ‘or not, Franco?’ “Hannah said.
If it had been with a cisgender woman, there was the possibility of insemination and that she would gestate. But hey, I fell in love with Hannah, it came about, we saw that it was possible and we gave it a go
Franco says that “in the waiting rooms there are always all women and me” and his condition as a pregnant woman becomes more evident in quarantine, when the consultations are individual.
“When they say ‘the next one’ and I go alone, you already feel the stares. Some laugh and throw the odd comment, but I try to ignore it and not take it personally. Only once, a cisgender man and woman began to give a talk, they congratulated me and I kept explaining to them. But most of them prefer to remain in the murmur, to judge you with a single look, without speaking, “Franco said.
One of the things that strikes Hannah the most is the name “maternity” for the service where deliveries and subsequent recovery are attended, because it reinforces the idea that it is an exclusive space for women.
“For there later it would be good if they change the name, in addition to training the personnel of the health centers,” he added.
But not everything was reactivity in the public health system, because they also found an obstetrician willing to learn from him.
“She told me from the outset ‘it’s hard for me, because it’s the first case but understand me and little by little we’ll both learn’. I said ‘great’. At first she was treating me as a woman and it was shocking, but now we are Well: for her I am Franco who attends the pregnancy as if she were a woman but she refers to me as a man, so I am comfortable and I just stay with her, “he described.
Many people say to me ‘How come you are in favor of abortion if you are pregnant?’ It has nothing to do with it, you must be able to decide on your own body
Another thing that Hannah and Franco are clear about is that their son will know how he was gestated when he is old enough and that his gender identity is provisional, until he can express his internal experience.
“He was biologically male and we thought of him a male name, Facundo Gabriel; but if in the future he wants to call himself Macarena or Brenda and put on a dress, we are going to support him,” said Franco, who said that after her pregnancy she received the inquiries from “a lot of trans guys from other countries who are gestating.”
legal abortion safe and free
On the other hand, both support the enactment of a law of legal, safe and free abortion.
“Many people say to me ‘How come you are in favor of abortion if you are pregnant?’ It has nothing to do with it, because this pregnancy was desired and programmed, but there are very difficult cases and not because you have a uterus, if it happens to you you have to have it yes or yes. You must be able to decide on your own body, “he said.
In addition, Franco celebrated that the bill speaks of “people with the ability to gestate” because “I do not see the difference between us and a cisgender woman who became pregnant and wants to have an abortion for whatever reason” and considered that it would be unfair that someone could not access that right “because he is a trans man.”
He has practically no contact with his family, but hers is “very happy” with the pregnancy, especially her 21 nephews.
“I have my 5-year-old goddaughter who already knows he is pregnant,” Hannah said.
“We wondered how we were going to explain to the boys when they saw my belly, but they already know everything: they come, hug me, caress me, talk about the baby all the time, and that they already want to see and play with him”, Franco said.
“We are happy and (this baby) was the best thing we did because it brought us a lot of light, a lot of love. He is not with us yet but we are already loving him and he has already changed our lives,” he concluded.
By: By María Alicia Alvado.
Source: Télam.
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