The room was cold, almost unnaturally so, as if the walls themselves mourned the loss of Joshua Kayode Adepitan. His body lay on a gunmetal-colored plinth, draped in a simple white sheet that stopped just below his collarbone. His shaved head rested on a stone headrest,a stark contrast to the vibrant life he once led. Outside,the rainy season had turned Lagos into a sauna,but inside the Omega Funeral Home,the air was as frigid as a meat locker.
“Anike,” Femi began, his voice trembling. “daddy passed away last night,” he said, “at 3 a.m.” The words hit like a sledgehammer. I dropped my phone, slumped forward, and buried my face in my hands. The pain was so excruciating that tears refused to come.Joshua Kayode Adepitan, a man who had once been a beacon of success and respect, had died from a treatable blockage in his colon. Just three months earlier, I had seen him during my annual visit to Lagos. For years, I had tried to bring him to the U.K., but he always canceled at the last minute, citing business deals or warnings from his religious prophets. “They say it’s not safe,” he would explain. So, I traveled to him instead.
Now, Femi and I were back in Lagos, tasked wiht laying our father to rest. “We will honor him with a traditional Yoruba funeral,” femi said, his voice steadying. “We will celebrate the man he once was.”
And what a man he was. Joshua Kayode Adepitan was a proud Yoruba man who rose from poverty in rural Nigeria to build a life of success and respect. He was a natural storyteller, captivating everyone with tales of his childhood in the colonial era, his scholarships to universities abroad, and his triumphant return to Lagos, where he built two successful businesses and a stunning home in the affluent suburbs.
I cherished the memories of accompanying him to his furniture factory, where he inspected newly completed orders with pride. But the last two decades of his life were marked by failure and disrepute, a stark contrast to the man I once idolized.
As Femi and I stood in that cold visitation room, I couldn’t help but reflect on the man my father had been—and the man he had become. his life was a testament to resilience, but also a cautionary tale of how quickly fortunes can change.| Key Details About Joshua Kayode Adepitan |
|———————————————-|
| Birthplace: Rural Nigeria |
| Achievements: Built two successful businesses, won scholarships abroad |
| Legacy: A proud Yoruba man and natural storyteller |
| Final Years: Lived as a recluse, marked by failure |
| Cause of Death: Treatable colon blockage |
The funeral will be a party of his life, a chance to honor the man who once commanded every room he entered. But for now, the cold of the visitation room lingers, a reminder of the pain of loss and the complexity of a life well-lived, yet tragically cut short.
For more on the art of storytelling and honoring legacies, explore this guide on writing compelling narratives.
The Rise and Fall of a Family Patriarch: A Tale of Ambition, Decline, and isolation
Table of Contents
- The Rise and Fall of a Family Patriarch: A Tale of Ambition, Decline, and isolation
- The Tragic Tale of a Father Lost to Manipulation and the Struggle to Honor His Yoruba Legacy
- A Royal Blue Farewell: Honoring a Yoruba elder with Tradition and Love
- A Joyous Farewell: The Tradition of Placing Money on the Coffin in nigerian Funerals
- A Father’s Legacy: Reclaiming Love and Memory in the Midst of Loss
In the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria, Joshua Kayode Adepitan was once the epitome of success and ambition.A charismatic entrepreneur, he ran a thriving charter airline business and a furniture enterprise, providing his family with stability, security, and a life of luxury. His children, Femi and the author, idolized him, cherishing moments like riding shotgun on his speedboat along the Atlantic coast or learning to identify types of wood by their scent and grain. “All I ever wanted was to be like my father,” the author recalls, painting a vivid picture of a man who was not just a provider but a source of inspiration.
However, the collapse of Nigeria’s economy under decades of military dictatorship marked the beginning of a dramatic decline for the Adepitan family. Joshua’s charter airline was shuttered by the government, and his furniture business faltered as demand plummeted. The once-vibrant entrepreneur withdrew from the world, spending hours on crackling phone lines with faceless “business partners” and entertaining implausible deals involving vast sums of money in India and Switzerland.
The family’s stability crumbled further as threatening strangers began appearing at their gate at all hours, demanding money. Fearing the suspicious nature of Joshua’s new ventures, his wife, Anne, divorced him, changed her name, and fled the country, severing all ties. Joshua became a recluse, cutting off contact with his extended family and friends. By this time, Femi and the author were in their early 20s, studying abroad, and left to grapple with the unraveling of their family from afar.
A Family Portrait: From Stability to Strife
The author’s childhood memories are encapsulated in a poignant family photograph taken in Lagos. From left to right: anne, the author’s mother (age 33); Femi, the author’s brother (7); the author (4); and Joshua Kayode Adepitan, the author’s father (43). The image, courtesy of Anike Wariebi, captures a moment of unity and happiness that would soon be overshadowed by turmoil.
Joshua’s descent into isolation was marked by increasingly erratic behavior. He began consulting so-called prophets who accused his relatives of conspiring with voodoo, further alienating him from those who once admired him. The man who once inspired his children with stories of his grandmother’s wisdom—“You can do anything you put your mind to”—had become a shadow of his former self.
The Impact of Economic Collapse on Nigerian Families
The Adepitan family’s story is not unique.Nigeria’s economic collapse under military rule devastated countless businesses and families.The sharp decline in demand for luxury goods, such as high-end furniture, and the government’s crackdown on private enterprises left many entrepreneurs like Joshua struggling to survive.
| Key Events in the Adepitan Family’s Decline |
|————————————————|
| Economic Collapse: Nigeria’s economy falters under military dictatorship. |
| Business Failures: Joshua’s charter airline is shuttered; furniture business declines. |
| Family Breakdown: Anne divorces Joshua and flees the country. |
| Isolation: Joshua becomes a recluse, cutting ties with family and friends. |
Lessons from a Family’s Unraveling
The author’s reflections on their father’s rise and fall offer a poignant reminder of the fragility of success and the profound impact of economic instability on families. Joshua’s story is a cautionary tale about the dangers of isolation and the importance of maintaining connections, even in the face of adversity.
As the author looks back on their childhood, they are left with a mix of admiration and sorrow for the man who once embodied ambition and resilience. “All I ever wanted was to be like my father,” they write, a sentiment that underscores the enduring influence of a parent, even in their absence.
For more insights into Nigeria’s economic history and its impact on families,explore this detailed analysis of the country’s economic challenges.
Engage with Us: What lessons can we learn from the Adepitan family’s story? Share your thoughts in the comments below or join the conversation on social media using #FamilyLegacy.
The Tragic Tale of a Father Lost to Manipulation and the Struggle to Honor His Yoruba Legacy
The story of a man who once stood tall in Lagos society, only to be brought down by a decades-long con, is one of heartbreak, manipulation, and the enduring power of cultural heritage. For 20 years, a shadowy figure known only as World Wide World Wide exploited his vulnerabilities, leaving him isolated, penniless, and estranged from his family. His children, Femi and the narrator, were left to grapple with the aftermath of his tragic downfall and the daunting task of honoring his life with a traditional Yoruba funeral.
The Descent into Isolation
Once a prominent figure in lagos,the father’s life took a dark turn when he fell victim to a meticulously orchestrated scam. The con artist, World Wide World Wide, used a combination of financial promises, religious radicalization, and fear of voodoo to manipulate him.“They exploited his vulnerabilities and greed, and scammed him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars,” the narrator recalls. over time, he lost his home, businesses, and connection to his family.
By the time of his death at 81, he was living in a dimly lit motel room in one of Lagos’ shantytowns, a far cry from his former life of luxury.His children discovered the extent of his manipulation after finding his Yahoo email password scribbled on a piece of paper. Thousands of emails revealed a relentless correspondence with World Wide World Wide, who had no digital profile and remained a virtual ghost.
A Father Unrecognizable
The emails painted a picture of a man who had been systematically stripped of his identity. “Criminal manipulation had robbed my father of his ability to reason, to love and be loved,” the narrator writes.His once-famous laugh became hollow, and his tailored Saville Row suits were replaced by dusty dashikis that swished along the floor.
“I cried for my father ― the man who somehow found himself disjointed from his values, from his ethics, from everything he taught me to be,” the narrator shares. The man they unearthed from those emails was unrecognizable, a stark contrast to the father who had once been their moral compass.
The Challenge of a Yoruba Funeral
In the Yoruba tradition, the funeral of an elder is not a somber affair but a vibrant celebration of life. It involves elaborate rituals, including the tailoring of aso oke outfits for the family, the wearing of coral beads to ward off evil spirits, and the accompaniment of drummers and dancers to the church. Friends and family gather to pay tribute, reminisce, and celebrate late into the night.
For Femi and the narrator, organizing such a funeral was a daunting task. Their father had been a recluse for 20 years, and their mother had left Nigeria, leaving them disconnected from their Yoruba heritage. “How would we arrange a traditional Yoruba funeral for a man who had been a recluse for 20 years? Whom would we call upon to guide us?” they wondered.
Reconnecting with Heritage
To navigate the complexities of Yoruba funeral rites, the siblings turned to their childhood friends and their parents. Over two weeks, they meticulously planned the funeral, ensuring it aligned with the traditions befitting an elder. The process was not just about laying their father to rest but also about reconnecting with their cultural roots.
The funeral became a bridge to their heritage, a way to honor their father’s life while reclaiming their identity as biracial children of Yoruba descent.
Key Takeaways
| Aspect | Details |
|————————–|—————————————————————————–|
| Manipulation | Exploited by world Wide World Wide through greed, fear, and isolation. |
| Losses | Lost home,businesses,family,and connection to his values. |
| funeral Challenge | Organizing a traditional Yoruba funeral after 20 years of estrangement. |
| Cultural Reconnection | Funeral planning helped Femi and the narrator reconnect with their heritage.|
A Legacy Reclaimed
The story of this father’s tragic downfall is a cautionary tale about the dangers of manipulation and the resilience of cultural identity. For Femi and the narrator,the funeral was not just a farewell but a reclamation of their heritage and a tribute to the man their father once was.
As they navigated the complexities of Yoruba traditions, they found solace in the vibrant celebration of his life, a reminder that even in the face of loss, culture and community can provide a path to healing.
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For more on the rich traditions of Yoruba culture, explore this guide to Yoruba funeral rites.
A Royal Blue Farewell: Honoring a Yoruba elder with Tradition and Love
The funeral of a Yoruba elder is not just a somber occasion but a celebration of life,culture,and legacy.In May 2016, the family of a beloved Yoruba elder gathered at the Archbishop Vining Church in Ikeja, Lagos, to bid him farewell in a ceremony steeped in tradition and adorned with the vibrant hues of royal blue—his favorite color.
The family, unsure of how many would attend due to limited contact with their father’s extended family and friends, took a bold step. They placed an advertisement in The Punch newspaper, detailing the funeral arrangements and suggesting attendees wear royal blue. Despite their fears of empty pews, the day unfolded as a heartfelt tribute to a life well-lived.
A Ceremony Steeped in Tradition
As the family arrived at the church, they were greeted by a small but significant gathering of loved ones.Among them were the mothers of the author’s childhood friends,dressed in intricately embroidered aso oke—a traditional Yoruba fabric—trimmed with gleaming diamante. Their wrists, ears, and necks were adorned with heavy jewelry, a nod to the opulence and reverence of the occasion.
The author, her brother Femi, sister-in-law Catherine, and husband Mike were also dressed in elaborate aso oke, complete with ileke—coral necklaces traditionally worn during celebrations. The sight of their relatives, including the author’s father’s sister, Aunty Shola, and other cousins, brought a sense of unity and approval to the ceremony.
the choice of royal blue was more than a nod to the elder’s favorite color; it symbolized the family’s commitment to honoring his memory in a way that reflected his personality and cultural heritage. The aso oke, a fabric deeply rooted in Yoruba tradition, further emphasized the family’s connection to their roots.
A Community Comes Together
the advertisement in The punch newspaper proved to be a masterstroke. It not only informed the community of the funeral but also invited them to participate in a collective act of remembrance.The sight of attendees dressed in royal blue, many in traditional attire, transformed the church into a sea of cultural pride and familial love.The ceremony was a poignant reminder of the importance of community in Yoruba culture. From childhood friends to distant relatives, the gathering was a testament to the elder’s impact on those around him. The smiles and approving nods from the mothers of the author’s friends underscored the shared joy in celebrating a life well-lived.
Key highlights of the Funeral
| Aspect | Details |
|————————–|—————————————————————————–|
| Location | Archbishop Vining Church, Ikeja, lagos |
| Date | May 2016 |
| Attire | Royal blue aso oke with ileke (coral necklaces) |
| Notable Attendees | Aunty Shola, childhood friends’ mothers, cousins, and extended family |
| Cultural Importance| Emphasis on yoruba traditions, including aso oke and ileke |
| Community Engagement | Advertisement in The Punch newspaper to invite attendees |
A Legacy of Love and Tradition
The funeral was more than a farewell; it was a celebration of the elder’s legacy and the enduring strength of yoruba traditions. The family’s decision to incorporate aso oke and ileke into the ceremony highlighted their commitment to preserving their cultural heritage while honoring their loved one.As the author reflected on the day, she noted the profound sense of unity and approval from the community. The royal blue attire, the gleaming jewelry, and the smiles of loved ones all served as a reminder of the elder’s impact and the importance of coming together in times of loss.
For those interested in learning more about Yoruba funeral traditions, this guide provides an in-depth look at the cultural practices that make these ceremonies so unique.
the funeral was not just a goodbye but a celebration of life, love, and tradition—a fitting tribute to a Yoruba elder who left an indelible mark on his family and community.
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What are your thoughts on the blending of tradition and personal touches in funeral ceremonies? Share your experiences or insights in the comments below.
A Joyous Farewell: The Tradition of Placing Money on the Coffin in nigerian Funerals
In Nigeria, funerals are not just moments of mourning but also vibrant celebrations of life, culture, and tradition. This was vividly illustrated during a recent funeral ceremony, where attendees from across the country gathered to honor the deceased in a display of unity, respect, and joy. The event, steeped in cultural significance, highlighted a unique tradition: placing money on the coffin as a sign of respect.
A Celebration of Life and Culture
The funeral procession was a spectacle of color, music, and dance. Attendees,dressed in their finest aso oke—a traditional Yoruba fabric—accessorized with royal blue caps and head ties,created a striking visual. Among them were newcomers from a nearby shantytown motel,who arrived in fashionable outfits tailored from brown-and-orange ankara fabric,blending tradition with contemporary style.
As drummers and dancers led the procession, the atmosphere was electric.“Everyone joined in the dancing, doling out crisp Naira notes with abandon,” the author recounted.the act of throwing money at the dancers and drummers,a common practice in Nigerian celebrations,added to the festive mood. Despite the solemnity of the occasion, the event was marked by laughter, smiles, and a sense of communal joy.
the Tradition of Placing Money on the Coffin
As the procession reached the church, the pallbearers hoisted the coffin onto their shoulders, swaying rhythmically to the music. It was here that the tradition of placing money on the coffin came into play. “Oya, put money on the coffin,” whispered a friend’s mother, nodding toward the coffin. “That’s the tradition.They are expecting it.”
The author and her brother, Femi, followed the instruction, retrieving Naira notes from their envelopes and laying them on the coffin. “Note after note, until the wood paneling was completely covered,” the author described. Others soon joined, adding their own contributions to the growing pile of money. This act, deeply rooted in Nigerian culture, symbolizes respect, honor, and a final gesture of goodwill toward the deceased.
A Blend of Joy and Solemnity
The juxtaposition of joyous celebration and solemn tradition is a hallmark of Nigerian funerals. The music and dancing continued unabated, creating a lively backdrop to the poignant ritual. The image of the coffin, adorned with Naira notes, served as a powerful reminder of the community’s collective respect for the departed.
This tradition, while specific to Nigerian culture, resonates universally as a testament to the enduring bonds of family and community. It underscores the belief that even in death,life is to be celebrated,and the departed are to be honored with love and generosity.
Key Takeaways
| Aspect | details |
|————————–|—————————————————————————–|
| Attire | Traditional aso oke and Ankara fabrics, accessorized with royal blue caps and head ties. |
| Music and Dance | Drummers and dancers led the procession,with attendees joining in.|
| Money Tradition | Placing Naira notes on the coffin as a sign of respect and honor. |
| Atmosphere | A blend of joyous celebration and solemn tradition. |
A Final Farewell
The funeral concluded with the coffin being carried into the church,its surface now a mosaic of Naira notes. This poignant moment encapsulated the essence of nigerian funeral traditions—a celebration of life, a display of respect, and a testament to the enduring power of community.
for those unfamiliar with such customs, this event offers a glimpse into the rich cultural tapestry of Nigeria, where even in moments of loss, there is room for joy, connection, and reverence.
Have you experienced or witnessed unique funeral traditions in your culture? Share your stories in the comments below.
— The air was thick with emotion as the author stood in the church, surrounded by family and friends, singing “How Great Thou Art” — her father’s favorite hymn. it was a moment of bittersweet reconnection, a celebration of a life that had been marked by both love and loss. Just days before the funeral, the author and her brother, Femi, had uncovered a devastating truth hidden in their father’s emails. Yet, as they gathered to honor him, they chose to focus on the man they once knew and adored, rather than the shadow that had consumed him in his final years. The funeral was a vibrant affair,filled with music,dance,and heartfelt tributes. An Afrobeat band played, their call-and-response echoing through the reception hall as they sang, “baba Kayode o, Baba Kayode we miss you, Baba Kayode we love you.” The decorations were a sea of royal blue, adorned with posters featuring their father’s smiling face. It was a fitting tribute to a man who had once been a pillar of strength and respect in their lives. “we are so happy to be reconnected with you,” the author’s Aunt Shola said, embracing her tightly. “It’s been to long.” The sentiment was shared by many in the room, as relatives gathered to mourn the loss of a man who had, in many ways, become a mystery to them. The author and Femi had spent years trying to reconnect with their father, only to be met with silence and distance. They had missed him at graduations, weddings, and the births of their children. Yet, in death, they found a way to reclaim the man they had loved. “you did very well,” Aunt Shola said, looking around the reception hall. She spoke of how their relatives had been at a loss, desperate to understand what had happened to their long-lost brother. The author wanted to explain, to share the horror they had uncovered in their father’s emails. But as she watched her aunt sway to the music, she decided against it. “Your father would have been so proud,” Aunt Shola said squeezing their hands. For a moment, they sat in silence, watching the band dance in perfect sync, their voices rising in unison to honor the man they had all loved. It was a moment of closure, a chance to say goodbye to the father they had known before he disappeared into the fog of a con that had ultimately destroyed him. | Event | Description | The funeral was not just a farewell; it was a reclamation of love and memory.It was a chance to honor the man who had once been their hero, even as they grappled with the pain of his absence and the secrets he had left behind.as the band played on, the author thought of all the moments her father had missed — the graduations, weddings, and births that had marked their lives. But in that moment, surrounded by family and music, she found solace in the knowlege that they had finally been able to show him the love they had longed to give him during his life. Baba Kayode o, Baba Kayode we miss you, baba Kayode we love you. The words echoed in the air, a final tribute to a man who, despite his flaws, had left an indelible mark on their hearts. — Anike Wariebi, a British-Nigerian writer and Oxford University alumna, has recently completed a deeply personal memoir that delves into the complexities of family, estrangement, and a decades-long scam that ensnared her father. The memoir, which chronicles her journey to understand her father’s life and the emotional toll of his victimization, is a poignant exploration of identity, forgiveness, and resilience. Wariebi, who holds a master’s degree in creative writing from Oxford University, has crafted a narrative that is as much about her father’s story as it is about her own. “I wanted to understand the man behind the emails, the man who was conned for years,” she explains. Her memoir sheds light on the emotional scars left by the scam, which not only drained her father financially but also created a rift in their relationship. The scam, which spanned decades, involved a series of fraudulent schemes that preyed on her father’s trust and vulnerability.Wariebi’s memoir reveals how these events shaped her father’s life and, by extension, her own. “It’s a story about love, loss, and the lengths we go to for family,” she says. Wariebi’s writing journey is as compelling as the story she tells.After completing her master’s at Oxford,she dedicated herself to exploring the intricacies of her family’s history. Her memoir is a testament to her skill as a writer and her courage in confronting painful truths. Readers can learn more about her memoir and writing process here. along with her memoir, Wariebi is an active voice on social media, where she shares insights into her writing and personal life. Follow her on Instagram @anikewriter to stay updated on her latest projects and reflections. This article originally appeared on Key Highlights of Anike Wariebi’s Memoir
| Aspect | Details | Wariebi’s memoir is not just a story about a scam; it’s a universal tale of human connection and the enduring power of love. Her ability to weave personal history with broader themes makes her work a must-read for anyone interested in memoirs that resonate on a deeply emotional level. For more insights into her writing journey and to explore her memoir, visit her blog here. The memoir is a deeply emotional and thoght-provoking work, inviting readers to reflect on their own relationships and the ways in which love and loss shape our lives. Wariebi’s ability to weave together personal narrative with broader themes of identity and forgiveness makes her story resonate on a profound level. As she prepares to share her memoir with the world, Wariebi hopes that her story will inspire others to confront their own painful truths and find strength in the process of reconnection and healing. “It’s not just about my father or my family,” she says. “It’s about all of us—our struggles, our resilience, and our capacity to love, even in the face of unimaginable loss.” — What are your thoughts on the role of storytelling in healing and understanding? Share your experiences or reflections in the comments below.
Image Source: A Father’s Legacy: Reclaiming Love and Memory in the Midst of Loss
Key Moments from the Funeral
|————————–|———————————————————————————|
| Church Service | The family sang “How Great Thou art,” their father’s favorite hymn.|
| Reception | An Afrobeat band performed, singing “Baba Kayode o” in a call-and-response. |
| Decorations | Royal blue decorations and posters featuring their father’s smiling face. |
| Family Reconnection | Relatives expressed joy at reconnecting after years of separation. |
What are your thoughts on the power of reconnection and closure in times of loss? Share your experiences in the comments below.Anike Wariebi’s Memoir: A Tale of Love, Loss, and a Decades-Long Scam
|—————————|—————————————————————————–|
| Author | Anike Wariebi, British-Nigerian writer and Oxford University graduate |
| Memoir Focus | Estranged father’s life and a decades-long scam |
| Themes | Family, identity, forgiveness, resilience |
| Writing Journey | Master’s in creative writing from Oxford; dedicated to exploring family history |
| Social Media Presence | Follow her on Instagram @anikewriter |
T to the power of storytelling as a means of healing and understanding. Through her words, she not only honors her father’s memory but also offers a global message about the resilience of the human spirit in the face of betrayal and loss.
