We’ve all been there: a frustrating encounter with a boss leaves you fuming. What’s your next move? Most of us instinctively turn to a colleague for a good vent session. But is that always the best approach?
Martin Baer, an associate professor in the Department of Management and Entrepreneurship at Arizona State University, says letting off steam is a natural and cathartic response. ”Venting helps us make sense of negative situations,” Baer explains.”We frequently enough don’t know exactly how we feel about something until we say it out loud or write it down.”
Venting can offer othre benefits too. “It allows us to feel heard and to feel as if we have the support of those around us,” Baer says. “also, by expressing what happened, we may realize we’re upset about a relatively small incident. That could reduce the negative feelings associated with it.A number of studies show that people feel relief and a reduction in negative emotions immediatly after venting.”
Verbalizing grievances can also strengthen social bonds. This is as we’re taking a risk when we do it. “The risk is that the other person might not agree with us or might use what we tell them against us,” Baer notes. “By complaining to them, we’re demonstrating that we trust them to keep our secrets.”
However, Baer’s personal experiance with venting to a colleague surprised him. While it felt good in the moment, it ultimately made him feel worse. “It made us feel good in the moment, but, in the longer term, we noticed that it made us angrier and that our feelings towards our supervisor got worse and worse,” he recalls.
This led Baer and his colleague to conduct a study published in the Academy of Management Journal in 2018. They surveyed 170 bus drivers about their supervisors, how they expressed frustration to coworkers, and the feedback they received.
The results were striking. Those who vented to passive listeners,or those who simply agreed with them,felt angrier and more unforgiving towards their supervisors. They were less optimistic about enhancement and often responded by slacking off at work.
“The more they complained, the more frustrated they felt and the less hope they felt about their relationship with their supervisor,” Baer says. “This ultimately hurt their performance.”
However, bus drivers who vented to colleagues who asked questions and helped them reframe the situation experienced different outcomes. “When they complained to people who helped them reframe the situation, by pointing out potential solutions or noting ways in which they could improve their behavior, they didn’t experience that anger or sense of hopelessness,” Baer explains. “Their job performance didn’t suffer either.”
Thes findings were replicated in a lab study involving students facing an unfair exam situation. Students who spoke to passive listeners became increasingly furious, while those who spoke to more objective listeners felt more hopeful and forgiving.
“Our natural tendency to vent to people who will agree with us and tell us how wronged we were may not be the best way to help us get over a negative situation,” Baer concludes. “Complaining is fine, but we should be careful who we complain to.”
Navigating workplace frustrations can be tricky. While venting can feel cathartic, experts caution against letting loose in the office. Mary Connaughton, director of CIPD Ireland, the professional body for human resources and people development, advises discretion.
“We certainly shouldn’t do it in an open office or where anyone else can hear,” Connaughton says. “Conversations can easily get back to people. your reputation can be damaged. People might see you giving out and think you are behaving inappropriately. Consider how you’re likely to be viewed in all of this.”
Larry G Maguire,a work psychologist at humanperformance.ie,acknowledges the difficulty of staying rational when emotions run high. “If you’ve ever asked anyone angry or upset to snap out of it, you’ll have seen that it’s almost impractical,” he says.“There’s a certain momentum to these feelings that means we can get carried away by them.”
Maguire warns that others can fuel this emotional fire. “By supporting us in a particular train of thought, they can fuel our obsession with the situation to the point where it becomes exhausting and has a negative impact on our work and wellbeing,” he says.
Maguire suggests approaching workplace conflicts like a house fire. “Acknowledging the situation is the first port of call and you can do that by venting,” he says. “But you can’t linger there. You have to do something about it, or the house will burn down around you.”
choosing the right confidante is crucial. “not somebody who will feed the fire,” Maguire advises. “We’ve all complained to people who turn up the heat and make us feel even angrier. What we want is someone who will be honest and give us a balanced response.”
This sounding board doesn’t have to be a coworker; a family member or career coach can also provide valuable perspective. “The solution to your particular situation almost certainly exists,” says Maguire. “Someone outside the situation may just help you to see it.”
Those on the receiving end of workplace complaints have a responsibility to respond thoughtfully. “There’s a strong inclination to agree and validate the other person’s feelings,” says Baer. “empathising is a good place to start, but it’s a mistake if that’s all you do. Rather, point out ways in which they can take control of the situation and encourage them to see that dwelling on it will only hurt them in the long run.”
Connaughton suggests a multi-stage approach. “If they’re venting, you may have to listen and let them get all their emotions out before you can have a rational discussion,” she says. “It might be a day or two before they are ready.”
Once calmer, encourage them to take steps to resolve the situation.A one-on-one conversation with their boss is often the best course of action. “This conversation should focus on establishing the facts and understanding them,” says Connaughton. “what was said or done? What impact did it have? And what could be done differently next time?”
Involving a third party is generally not recommended. “Doing so automatically escalates the situation to something more serious,” Connaughton says.
Navigating workplace conflicts can be challenging,but experts say there are strategies to address disagreements constructively. While many disputes can be resolved directly between colleagues, knowing when to involve a third party is crucial.
“It’s significant to try and resolve issues directly with the person involved whenever possible,” advises workplace expert Sarah Maguire. “Open and honest interaction is key to finding a mutually acceptable solution.”
However, there are times when the involvement of a third party, such as Human Resources, is warranted. “Anything that could be regarded as bullying or harassment should be dealt with through the organization’s official channels,” she says.
Maguire emphasizes the importance of avoiding a cycle of negativity. “Whatever you do, don’t stay stuck in a negative loop of anger and recrimination,” she advises. “If all you do is focus on the cause of conflict, you’ll never find a solution.”
“Once you’ve calmed down, take a step back to look at the broader picture,” Maguire suggests. “You may realize that you can find common ground with the individual in question, or, on the contrary, you may see that the situation is truly untenable and you have no option but to remove yourself.”
## Venting at Work: Helpful or Harmful?
**World-Today-news.com Exclusive Interview with Management expert**
**Frustration with a boss is a worldwide workplace experience, but how we handle it can have lasting implications.**
Is venting too a colleague the best way to process these tough emotions? Martin Baer,Associate Professor in the Department of Management and Entrepreneurship at Arizona State University,says it’s elaborate. “While venting allows us to make sense of things and feel heard, it can also backfire,” he explains.
Baer’s own research, published in the Academy of Management Journal, revealed a surprising finding:
**Venting to passive listeners who simply agree with us can actually increase anger and resentment towards our supervisors. It can even lead to decreased job performance.**
What’s the alternative? Baer suggests seeking out colleagues who can offer constructive feedback and help reframe the situation. “When people vented to those who pointed out potential solutions or highlighted ways to improve their own behavior, they didn’t experience the same anger or sense of hopelessness,” he says.
**Choosing the Right Confidante**
Mary Connaughton, director of CIPD Ireland, the professional body for human resources, agrees that discretion is essential when venting at work.
“Conversations can easily get back to people, potentially damaging your reputation,” she cautions.
Work psychologist Larry G Maguire, also emphasizes the importance of choosing the right confidante. “Someone who fuels your anger won’t be helpful.”
Instead, seek someone who can offer a balanced perspective and help you “put out the fire” before it consumes you. This could be a trusted colleague,a family member,or even a career coach.
**Taking Action**
Maguire compares a workplace conflict to a house fire. “Acknowledging the situation by venting is the first step, but you can’t linger ther,” he says. “You have to take action to resolve the situation before it gets worse.”
**Key Takeaways for Navigating Workplace Frustration:**
* **Be mindful of who you vent to.** choose someone who will offer constructive feedback and help you reframe the situation.
* **Keep conversations private.** Avoid venting in open areas where others can overhear.
* **Take action to resolve the situation.** Don’t let frustration fester; find solutions to address the underlying issue.
While venting can be a natural response to workplace stress, it’s notable to be mindful of its potential pitfalls. By choosing the right confidante and focusing on solutions, you can turn frustration into a catalyst for positive change.
