Breaking the Silence: Men and the Hidden Struggle with Eating Disorders
For years, eating disorders have been largely perceived as a female issue, relegated to magazine headlines about teenage girls struggling with body image. But a silent battle is being fought by millions of men around the globe, facing a stigma that often keeps them from seeking help. Recognizing this hidden crisis is critical, as eating disorders can have devastating effects regardless of gender.
Tharindu Jayadeva, a 30-year-old Sri Lankan Sinhalese man, knows this struggle firsthand. "The common narrative was that it was usually young women and young women who didn’t look like me," he says. It took him a year to reach out for help, paralyzed by the belief that he didn’t deserve support and battling feelings of shame.
Jayadeva’s experience highlights the multifaceted challenges men face. Apart from societal stereotypes, cultural barriers can add another layer of complexity. "To be potentially wasting food as you navigate an eating disorder, I think that was really challenging for me to have conversations about within my cultural context," he recalls.
His cultural background, where discussions about both mental health and food often feel like "luxuries," contributed to his silence.
This isn’t an isolated case.
The Butterfly Foundation, Australia’s leading eating disorder organization, reveals a stark reality: more than a third of individuals affected by eating disorders are male. Yet, men are four times less likely to receive a diagnosis.
Sarah Cox, a clinical psychologist and manager of the Butterfly Foundation’s national helpline, explains the reasons behind these numbers:
"They don’t discriminate and can affect anybody regardless of gender, sexuality, cultural background, body shape or size, but I think because of those narrow portrayals, there can be a lot of stigma in society and a lot of self-stigma that people hold as well."
"It kind of just adds extra layers of complexity and extra barriers and extra challenges in receiving culturally safe care."
For men, the presentation of eating disorders can also differ. Dr. Zac Seidler, a clinical psychologist and global director of Men’s Health Research at Movember, uses the term "bigorexia" to describe a fixation on muscularity and leanness.
"We’ve got all of these movements now around ice baths and all-meat diets, and it’s just rife within the men’s wellbeing space," Seidler observes.
He points out the dangerous culture surrounding fitness influencers, where behaviors like steroid use and extreme dieting are often glorified.
"When they’re using muscle-enhancing drugs, when they are showing binging and purging, when they are obsessing about fitness and body image, it’s put in this bracket of ‘he’s an influencer, look at him go, he’s ripped, he’s got all the girls, everything’s going the way that it should’," Seidler says.
"But underneath it, the psychological terrain that he’s walking daily is fraught."
This underscores the urgent need for awareness and acceptance. Men struggling with eating disorders need to know they are not alone, and help is available.
Jayadeva, now an advocate for mental health awareness, concludes with a message of hope:
There were so many moments over the last 10 or so years where I thought I probably wouldn’t even be around to talk about this experience, and right now, it fills me with hope, but also sadness, that there was a little TJ, a little Tharindu who felt that way.
"And I think that speaks to why I talk about it now — because there is a little Tharindu somewhere who just wants to hear and see someone who looks like him talk about these things. Because it might not be something their community talks about or family talks about, but it is something that happens, and it is possible to hold it in a safe and meaningful way.”
For Support:
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or body image concerns, please reach out for help. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline is available at 1-800-931-2237. You can also get support online at nationaleatingdisorders.org.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength.
## Breaking the Silence: Men and the Hidden Struggle with Eating Disorders
**World Today News Exclusive Interview**
**With Tharindu Jayadeva, Eating Disorder Survivor and Advocate**
For too long, eating disorders have been shrouded in a narrative of femininity. We see images of young girls in magazines, whispering about “calories” and “thinness.” But what about the millions of men silently battling these same demons?
Tharindu Jayadeva,a 30-year-old Sri Lankan Sinhalese man,is bravely breaking the silence. He shares his personal journey with anorexia, highlighting the unique challenges men face in navigating this debilitating illness.
**WTN:** Tharindu,thank you for sharing your story with us. Your vulnerability is incredibly valuable in helping us understand the complex reality of eating disorders in men.
**TJ:** Thank you for having me.It’s critically importent to shatter the myth that eating disorders are solely a “female” issue. Men struggle too, frequently enough in silence.
**WTN:** You mentioned feeling hesitant to seek help, partly due to societal stereotypes. Can you elaborate on what made reaching out such a difficult decision?
**TJ:** The narrative surrounding eating disorders was so heavily centered on young women that it felt almost impossible to identify with. I didn’t see myself reflected in those stories.
The shame was overwhelming. I felt like I didn’t deserve help, that I wasn’t “sick enough.” There was also a fear of judgment, a worry that people wouldn’t understand.
**WTN:** Your cultural background adds another layer to this complexity. Can you shed light on how cultural nuances influenced your experience?
**TJ:** In my culture, conversations about mental health are frequently enough seen as a luxury, somthing we don’t have the time or resources to address. Food is also deeply ingrained in our social fabric. The act of potentially wasting food while struggling with an eating disorder added another level of guilt and shame.
**WTN:** You’ve been vocal about the importance of early intervention. What advice would you give to men who might be struggling in silence?
**TJ:** First and foremost, no that you’re not alone. This is not a sign of weakness but a signal that you need support. Reaching out is an act of courage, not shame.
Talk to someone you trust — a friend, family member, doctor. Eating disorder treatment is effective, and recovery is possible. It might seem daunting, but taking that first step is crucial.
**WTN:** What can we, as a society, do to create a more supportive environment for men battling eating disorders?
**TJ**: We need to start by changing the narrative. We need to see diverse representations of eating disorders in media, including men of different backgrounds and ages.
There’s also a need for increased awareness and education. Men need to understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. And ultimately, we need to create a culture where vulnerability is embraced, where men feel safe to talk about their struggles without fear of judgment.
**WTN:** Tharindu, your openness is truly inspiring. thank you for lending your voice to this vital conversation.
**TJ:** Thank you. I hope my story helps break down the stigma surrounding men and eating disorders. We need to start talking, start listening, and start supporting one another.
**note:** If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder,please remember that help is available. You are not alone.Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or contact a mental health professional.
