“My sister quickly made the decision not to have children. She studied education, just like my parents, and she read in all those courses how many ways things can go wrong, apparently even with parents who had also read those courses. She was afraid she would make her children feel unwanted. For me, childlessness was more the result of a long process of not doing anything, not being adventurous and making other life choices, which seemed to be more important to me. It’s not that I’ve been thinking for twenty years that I don’t want to be a mother. But you also need to develop an attitude for life outside the box with children, and that takes time. There is doubt and also sadness about the loss. But in the end that choice will follow.”
The sick and beaten body
Heavy zone and severe diabetes, which requires injections into her own body. Alcohol addiction and eventually cancer in her mother. It was already evident in the diary fragments of the young Lize Spit that the body must suffer something.
“In Autobiography of my body I have included a selection of my childhood diaries, especially all the sentences that are related to my mother, my body, death or farewell in general,” she said. “I noticed as a child that I was very focused on pain, visits to doctors, illnesses of teachers or classmates. I was jealous when other people were sick or had to go to hospital because that made them special, so to speak. I also mention in the book that there was a time when I widened my wounds or tried to squeeze my bruised wrist even more to go to the doctor. And I had a weak core from a young age, because when I was four I had a hard zone. As I was once on the brink of death, my parents were more concerned about my health than my brother and sisters. So labeling my body as diseased was my way of getting attention, pity and love.”
2024-11-16 06:33:00
#Lize #Spit #hair #body #lot #sadness
