Kimberly Hicks looks at her challenging job as a nurse while raising three young children.
During her twelve hour shifts, she often feels guilty because she doesn’t have time for her children.
Despite these challenges, Hicks appreciates her work and believes the long hours are worth it.
This essay is based on a conversation with Kimberly Hicks, a 39-year-old nurse from Northern California. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I have been a registered nurse for 14 years. i do husbandwho also works full time, and I have three boys aged ten, seven and two.
My work schedule changes from week to week. I work one or two twelve hour shifts per week a hospitalaccording to the needs of my department. My shifts currently run from 7am to 7pm. I am inside them a hospital I also work as a trainer so I spend several days a week teaching patients in an outpatient setting.
Working twelve hour shifts is a physically, mentally and emotionally demanding challenge. I go to work before my children wake up and come home when they are just crawling into bed. I feel guilty because my job takes me out of my life for a whole day Kind out of sight. I hate missing him all day.
I’m also building my own business – a nursing brand, Replenishift – where I work around 5:30 or 6am on my days off, before my Kind wake up in the afternoon, when the child is sleeping, and after the Kind he went to bed.
I leave before my children wake up and only see them when they go to bed, if at all
I wake up at 5:30am, get ready for work, and head out so I can be at the hospital by 7am.
On the days I work 12-hour shifts, my two oldest sons go to school and then attend an after-school program so their father can pick them up. My youngest son, who starts pre-school later this year, will be in the care of my mother-in-law or the mother-in-law. children supervised by a college-aged colleague.
I rarely hear from me during the day children. Sometimes I get a text or picture of my youngest from whoever is looking after him, but most of the time I don’t know what’s going on. As a nurse, I am so fascinated by what happens to my patients that I am completely immersed in their lives and withdraw from my own.
I usually get home between 7:30pm and 8pm – sometimes later on particularly difficult days.
On the days I work, I don’t see my youngest son at all. When I come home he is already asleep. My two older sons usually just brush their teeth and go to bed.
After I take off my gown and shower, we cuddle in my bed for a bit and they tell me about their day. I am usually so physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted that I have a hard time retaining the information they tell me, which makes me think guilty conscience could.
It’s usually very difficult to separate them from me and put them to bed, which also makes me feel guilty because I know they’re just happy to see me for the first time on the that day
The guilt I feel as a mother is at an all time high with my schedule
On my day off after a 12-hour shift, while I recover physically and mentally from the day before, I feel the emotional effects of my child. He’s usually happy and confused when he sees me – happy that I’m there, but angry when he realizes that I wasn’t there the day before.
For the next eight hours he is attached to me. He won’t let anyone do anything for him anymore, he won’t let me out of his sight anymore. The over me sometimes
But I know he needs this, so I hold him and love him as long as he wants, to reconnect with him and show him that I will always be there for him.
The long working hours are worth it because my work is important to me
I overcome mother guilt by being fully present when I am with my children. This is helpful for me and my children.
My children never try to hurt me Feelings of guilt to believe When I tell them that I have to work in the hospital the next day, they often get angry and cry or show frustration. I always try theirs feelings to reassure them and help them understand why they feel this way and I will also explain why I go to work.
Many of the other nurses I work with also feel guilty about being away from home for 12 hours. Some people just say, ‘Why don’t you get a traditional job where you work a set schedule, like in a doctor’s office, where you’re home at 5pm every day and weekends and holidays off?’
But I really care about the people I work for in my hospital and the work I do is so important to me; she nourishes my soul as well as my soul Family. The long hours are worth it and I wouldn’t want to change it at this point in my life.
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