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Missing her children: Hyam Alnaeem from Wolfhagen. On Saturday, the father picked up his sons to spend a day with them and did not bring them back. The mother has sole custody. © Antje Thon
Two brothers from Wolfhagen have been missing for a week. Their mother is desperate – and says: Their father has wanted to take them to Syria for a long time.
Wolfhagen – Hyam Alnaeem is worried about her twins Mostafa and Yosof. After the children stayed with their father on Saturday a week ago, from whom the young woman has been separated for several years, he did not return the six-year-old boys to their mother’s apartment in Wolfhagen (Kassel district) as agreed, she says. The 29-year-old’s great concern for her children is based on negative experiences she had with the children’s father in the past.
Even before the twins were born, there were repeated problems. Problems with her husband and his mother, says Hyam Alnaeem. Because of recurring conflicts and because she looked after her sons alone, the family court in Brilon granted her sole custody in February of this year. The father is allowed to see the children every two weeks, but the twins are not allowed to stay overnight with him. She was already awarded custody in March 2021.
Mother of missing children reports assaults by father
Her husband had become physically violent towards her several times. Her mother-in-law, who had lived in Cottbus until recently, attacked and injured her with a knife in 2019, says Alnaeem. She reported this incident to the police.
From the beginning, their relationship was not a good one, she says. The marriage was concluded according to Muslim tradition. The mother was looking for a suitable wife for her son and asked the parents of possible candidates. The woman’s wishes were not important. The CV of her future husband, who was a doctor in Germany, was so good that her parents could not have said no. Before the wedding, they had not seen each other once, “six phone calls – that was all,” says the frightened mother.
The two missing twins from Wolfhagen: Yosof and Mostafa. In the last week of August they started school in Wolfhagen, and this photo was taken. The police are investigating the kidnapping of minors. © Private
She became pregnant just a few weeks after the marriage in 2017. She gave birth to the twins in Cottbus. She was repeatedly pressured to go to Syria with the children. Even then, the father did not live with the family. She and the children lived with her mother-in-law in Cottbus from 2017 to 2019. She later moved to Hallenberg and lived there for four years.
Mother of twins: Father always wanted to bring children to Syria
In the meantime, when the children were still very small, there were phases in the marriage in which her husband treated her well. But he did that for purely tactical reasons, says Alnaeem. His goal was always to bring the children to Syria.
In 2020, there was finally a dramatic experience: her husband invited her and the then two-year-old twins to a holiday in Turkey. A mistake, as she found out a little later. They were picked up from the airport in Istanbul in a dark car with tinted windows. Instead of going to a hotel, they went to a remote village. Her mother-in-law was already waiting there, kept her in a room for a week and harassed her together with the children’s father.
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Later they went on to Syria. “You have no rights, there is no more Germany for you,” they told her over and over again. Her cell phone and ID cards were taken away from her, and she had no money either. The children’s father obtained a travel ban for the children under Syrian law. “In Syria, the father can decide everything for the children until they are 18 years old,” says Alnaeem.
Father is said to have brought children to Syria before
She had to spend ten months in Syria at the time. She managed to consult a lawyer. He made it clear to her that she had little chance of leaving Syria against her husband’s will – unless she conformed. “So I was a good woman with a headscarf. I played well, I was strong,” says the mother, who is now desperate and worried about her sons. At some point he lifted the travel ban for the children and in December 2020 they returned to Germany.
The couple have been separated since that day. The children lived with her. But the father turned to the family court to take the children into his care. He argued that Syrian law was the basis for this. But the court ultimately awarded her custody.
The children have been gone for a week now. She had suspected that this would happen at some point. “The children never felt comfortable with their father, they don’t like him,” says Alnaeem. She taught the twins SOS signs and told them to be loud when they were afraid and other people were nearby. The brothers are very close to each other. The fact that they are together is the only consolation for them now.
