“I remember when her eyes changed” – No one knew what Eva Louhivuori had to experience in her relationship – 2024-04-28 16:36:48

Musician Eva Louhivuori thought that she had found the love of her life. A person who fulfills all his wishes and is exactly what he has always dreamed of.

After a few months of dating, Eva, 37, began to notice that her partner was jealous. However, he thought that the partner just cares so much that he doesn’t want Eva to give any attention to other people.

– As is usually the case in such cases, things started to get dark little by little. Without noticing, Eva recalls to Iltalehti.

Eva wants to share her story so that someone experiencing intimate partner violence could get peer support or help. Inka Soveri

Months passed and the jealousy continued. Belittling, accusations, barking and threats also came into play. There were also many good moments and flashes of happiness in the relationship, so Eva did not think that the situation was serious.

– Little by little, the situation started to eat away at my positivity. I feel that I am a very open person, I take everyone into account and look people in the eye. It’s a trait I really like about myself. However, he couldn’t stand it and I had to suppress it in myself.

My partner didn’t want Eva to meet her family or loved ones, and even smiling at the store’s cashier caused an argument at home. Eva says that she heard from her partner that her friends and family don’t like her. At that time, Eva was also making music with her ex-partner Emmanuel “Manu” Laudicin with.

– My partner made me believe that it is wrong to work with an ex. The situation was getting so bad that I was ready to end the band with Manu because I believed this person. Luckily I didn’t.

In addition to threats, barking and accusations, physical violence also entered the picture.

– The tantrums were the worst. I remember when his eyes changed and I noticed that now it’s like another guy comes into this room. After that, I couldn’t get a hold of him anymore, Eva opens.

The scenes fell

No one from Eva’s close circle knew what she was going through in her relationship. For more than a year, Eva kept the stage up, but finally the curtain fell down.

Eva seriously recalls the situation when intimate partner violence was revealed to her sister.

– My partner had another fit of rage and trashed my room, threw the closet doors out of place. My sister came to me and asked what happened at my house. I just replied that my partner got a little nervous. When I saw my sister’s shock, I realized that all is not well.

– At the same time, I panicked that now everyone has found out the reality and the scenes have collapsed. My sister understood what it was about and also the family and closest friends came to support, Eva says.

Eva tried to defend her partner’s behavior for a long time, but in the end the only option was a divorce. However, Eva secretly kept in touch with her ex-partner, even if it wouldn’t have been worth it.

– A few times after the breakup, the situation got so bad that I was afraid of death. It’s a terrible feeling and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. In the end, those situations were the last wake-up call that this could go really, really bad.

“We’ll help you out”

Eva got the most help from the Women’s Line telephone service. Eva talked for hours with trained volunteers about the kind of violence she has experienced at home.

Eva gets emotional when talking about her first call to the Women’s line.

– It was really empowering and relieving when someone said out loud that you are in an abusive relationship and now we will help you get out of there. I will forever remember those words in my mind. I fell to the ground and cried for 20 minutes on that phone, Eva recalls.

Eva also received quick crisis help through public health care from a psychological nurse. Today, Eva also goes to therapy.

– I was also in contact with the crime victim emergency department. Through that, I understood the seriousness of the situation and that it is not appropriate to live in such a relationship.

Eva never filed an official criminal complaint.

– Now that I think about it, I definitely should have contacted the police. I also know a lot of women who have faced violence but never get help because it is so hard to prove. Especially mental abuse. Even though there are text messages and stuff, it’s really hard to prove it, and in that situation I couldn’t take it any further.

Eva says that she has made several different observations about her past and what she has experienced in therapy.

– I’ve realized in therapy that it’s not worth holding on to anger and bitterness, because it doesn’t move you forward in life. Maybe a year ago I wouldn’t have said this, but now I can say that I don’t wish this person anything bad, on the contrary. I hope that he would get help and also be able to live a full and easier life, Eva reflects.

In the new Air– in her song Eva goes through her feelings about loneliness and intimate partner violence in the form of music. To be published on April 26 Air-song is part of Eva’s album set, which will be released next fall. Eva says that she draws the stories of all her songs from her own life, so that’s why the album also has a song about these topics.

– I tried for a long time to make a song about this topic, but it was really difficult. When the time was right, Air-song was created in one sitting and it was a truly liberating moment.

In addition to professional help, Eva is grateful to her family and friends who helped her overcome intimate partner violence. Eva says that it took her a year to get over the worst time.

– I decided at first that I would never fall in love again. I thought no one could be trusted. Fortunately, such an angel as my current Spouse came into my life.

Eva and her husband, an actor Olli Riipinen had their first child together last July. The couple has also spoken openly about Eva’s past.

– One of my friend’s grandmother once said beautifully that the world is full of good people, but we just have to find them, Eva concludes consolingly.