The total solar eclipse is worth a billion and drives America crazy

NEW YORK — Everyone is crazy about the eclipse on April 8th. There will be at least 32 million Americans (not counting those who will follow the event online) on Monday afternoon waiting, noses in the air, for the astronomical event of the year: the so-called “black sun”. Rare phenomenon – the next one will be on August 12, 2044 – capable of producing a shadow area that this time will travel from Mexico to Canada crossing 15 North American states and large cities such as Dallas, Indianapolis, Buffalo.

It will begin at 12.39 local time south of Kiribati, in the Pacific Ocean, and will shadow the Earth’s surface for 3 hours and 16 minutes until 3.55 pm when it will end in the Atlantic. The darkness will last longer than usual on average, around 4 minutes, during which various phenomena will be recorded: drop in temperatures (up to 10 degrees), anomalous behavior of animals and plants, a sort of 360 degree sunset and sudden visibility of the sun’s crown (to be observed with specific glasses) together with stars, the planets Venus and Jupiter and perhaps Comet 12P/Pons-Brooks. Even humans may have unpredictable emotional reactions, scientists warn. Ready to study the effects in real time.

Surely here is already eclipse mania. Considered by financial analysts to be the potential tourist event of the decade: «It will be equivalent to having 50 Super Bowls at the same time from Texas to Maine» says Michael Zeiler, manager of the website greatamericaneclipse.com, speaking to the Washington Post.

The enormous number of enthusiasts and curious people is in fact destined to generate a turnover of over a billion dollars, a real panacea for the economy of numerous cities, from Austin, Texas, to Rochester, New York. Hotels, campsites and houses offered on Airbnb (which has dedicated a specific map to them) have been sold out for months and at literally astronomical prices: for example in Grayville, Illinois, a village of a thousand inhabitants, rooms costing 90 dollars went for 949. Even restaurants have thrown themselves into the business with space-inspired menus. While food brands will offer limited edition products: SunChips, for example, will sell two-coloured chips flavored with pineapple and black beans online for just 4 minutes and 27 seconds starting at 2.33pm. Blue Moon Beer will be handing out “Eclipse Sips” cartons on Monday only. And Pizza Hut will offer giant flatbreads for $12 with free tinted glasses.

Of course, here and there the clouds could ruin the experience: and professional eclipse hunters – those who travel from one continent to another to experience the thrill – say they are ready to jump in a car last minute to look for the best spot. Traffic and accidents are already taken into account: and in fact many cities drew up their road plans a year ago, mindful of the apocalyptic traffic jams that occurred during the much less extensive eclipse of 2017, when 100 kilometer long queues formed at motorway toll booths. The state of New York has even appointed an “Eclipse Czar”: Jessica DeCerce, responsible for logistics, with the task of maximizing the day of exceptional tourism – which she has already defined as “equal to a thousand Woodstocks” – while avoiding disasters.

Maximum alert also in the prisons: so much so that a group of inmates of the Wooldward penitentiary had to sue to obtain permission to remain in the courtyard during what is usually their free time, canceled by the management for fear of escapes or riots. Arguing that the ban on following “an event with religious connotations” (the six signatories of the appeal are Christians, Muslims and a follower of Santeria) would have violated their constitutional rights.

The conspiracy theorists instead highlight the literal dark side of the phenomenon: flooding the network with apocalyptic theories of all sorts. Like the one that predicts the end of the world because the skies of 7 cities called Nineveh will be darkened: like the biblical capital of vice condemned by the prophet Jonah. In reality, only two cities with that name will be affected, in Ohio and Indiana.

Conspiracy sites like Infowar instead have articles with headlines like this: “Will April 8th be used by globalists for their occult rituals?”. However, there is a concrete risk of electricity cuts due to the temporary collapse of renewable energy, now an important percentage of the total needed: precisely when, in the dark, there will be a peak in demand. And who knows, maybe in that case people really go crazy.