The rainbow bridge is a way of saying, a dream, a hope. Everyone who lives, or has lived, with a pet knows its meaning: it means passing away, passing away, death of the beloved pet. A deep, dull, persistent pain. A mourning in every sense, because that dog or that cat (or another type of animal, it makes no difference) was a constant, affectionate, significant presence in everyday life. A friend who shared joys, sorrows, tears and laughter, a family member who is suddenly no longer here. And the ticking on the floor is missing, the scratches on the sofa are missing, the jumping on the bed or simply the wagging of the tail at the sight of the leash is missing. A piece of life is missing.
Unrecognized mourning
Precisely because pets are considered family members, their passing represents a loss that must be processed. Here, however, the gear stops. It is precisely society that decrees a clear stop which, by devaluing the human-animal relationship, attributes a lower value to this loss than other traumas, ignoring the relationship that the person has established with that particular life partner.
Grief diary: how to embrace what cannot be changed
by Francesco Cro
“It’s just a dog, it’s just a cat” how many times have we heard that? Yet, as emerges from various studies and scientific publications, in many cases this type of suffering brings with it serious consequences on a physical and mental level. The situation worsens if the person has had to resort to euthanasia because, in addition to the suffering of the loss, the feelings of guilt and the torment of a difficult choice are added.
Thus, many prefer to experience pain in solitude. The fear of not being understood by others and the shame of suffering that society does not justify lead those affected by bereavement to withdraw into themselves. Thus you risk, in a short time, finding yourself on the road to isolation and depression.
Those who live alone and elderly people are the most affected
A study conducted by the University of Alberta, Canada, on women aged between 55 and 60 who live alone, highlighted that the majority of them, although deeply saddened by the death of their pet, did not express their feelings with your circle of acquaintances. For elderly people, already dealing with changes due to age and lifestyle, the loss can mean a deterioration in emotional and physical well-being. Taking care of someone, still feeling useful, the daily walk, the social exchange with the community, are all pieces that are missing.
Living with a pet increases oxytocin levels, reduces blood pressure and cortisol levels. Research published in Scientific Reports has shown that the love for dogs is linked to genetic factors, it is part of the DNA of 57% of women and 51% of men. And again, the researchers ofAllens Institute of Brain Science of Seattle have identified some neurons in the amygdala that react preferentially to images of animals. Nothing extraordinary therefore, if upon their death one experiences suffering equal to that of the passing away of a friend.
How to deal with loss
Pain is a subjective fact, it is not quantifiable. Not even facing death. It’s all linked by a thin thread that has been unraveling since we were children: if we encountered death as children, if we were able to accept it, if we carried it inside us like an uncomfortable and painful guest. But when we are faced with the loss of such precious friends everything turns upside down. Especially if we are forced to make decisions for them, such as euthanasia, because an incurable disease is making our life partner suffer too much. And even there, it is better to ask the vet to come home, without ever leaving our pet alone, accompanying him with caresses and sweet words in his ear until his last breath, because being together in those short and devastating moments of passage is an act of love towards him. And towards you.
“Becoming stronger from mourning”
Then give yourself all the time you need, without feeling obligated to move on quickly. Express your pain, talk to someone you know can understand you, cry. There is no shame, only love.
Pay homage to your friend and do, if you want, a funeral rite, you can contact an agency (they also exist for them) or follow your sensitivity and honor him as you prefer. Over the next few days, look at photos, tell stories, make a memory box, and keep his things for a while longer. You can put them aside later or give them to someone who needs them. If you then feel that you can’t do it alone, know that there are people who help in this journey, from psychologists to the figure of pet loss counseling .
How to help those who are suffering
Anyone who wants to make their closeness felt to the person who has lost their pet must first acknowledge the loss, offer condolences, demonstrating that they have understood the importance of the relationship and the weight of the disappearance. It is essential to encourage those who have suffered the loss to talk about it and to cry if necessary, to share stories, photos, videos of those who are no longer with us. Pain, in whatever form it presents, must be listened to and respected, without invitations to a quick solution. Only in this way can those who have lost a true friend feel less alone.
#unacknowledged #mourning #animal #friends
– 2024-03-31 21:42:47
