Turning Ashes into Stones: A Family’s Journey of Grief and Healing
Losing a child is a devastating experience that no parent should ever have to go through. For Kaylee Massey and her husband Jake, the pain of losing their youngest daughter, Poppy, at just 15 months old was unimaginable. However, in their journey of grief and healing, they found solace in an unexpected way – by turning Poppy’s ashes into stones.
Poppy was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called TBCD when she was just nine months old. This disorder affected her brain and spinal cord, and doctors informed Kaylee and Jake that her life expectancy was between three to five years. Despite the heartbreaking news, the couple remained optimistic, believing that they could provide the best care for their daughter and overcome the challenges as a family.
The day-to-day busyness of caring for Poppy helped them stay afloat amidst the overwhelming emotions. But in late April, their world came crashing down when Poppy was admitted to the hospital for an infection. Despite the best efforts of the medical team, Poppy’s condition deteriorated rapidly, and she passed away in the pediatric ICU.
Saying goodbye to their daughter was the hardest thing Kaylee and Jake had ever done. They knew they wanted Poppy’s remains at home with them, so they decided to have her ashes pressed into stones. The idea of having an urn in the house felt unsettling, as they didn’t want their other children, Rosie and Peter, to associate fear or distance with their sister’s memory.
The process of turning Poppy’s ashes into stones took about three months. When the stones finally arrived, Kaylee and Jake were surprised by how few there were – only about 12 small white stones with yellow specks. These stones were essentially unbreakable, providing a sense of permanence and comfort to the grieving parents.
The stones now reside in a box on Poppy’s swing in the family’s kitchen, a place where she spent much of her time. They serve as a tangible reminder of her presence, allowing the family to hold space for Poppy in their home. Despite their small size, the stones hold immense significance for Kaylee, Jake, Rosie, and Peter.
For the children, the stones are not objects of fear or confusion. Kaylee and Jake were open and direct with them about Poppy’s cremation, and both Rosie and Peter understand that the stones are compressed ashes. While they don’t play with the stones, Peter occasionally takes one out, holds it for a few minutes, and then carefully returns it to its place.
The stones have become a source of comfort and healing for Kaylee as well. After spending 15 months tirelessly protecting Poppy, the stones symbolize permanence and stability in a world that felt constantly changing. They provide a sense of peace and allow Kaylee to find solace in knowing that Poppy’s memory will always be with them.
Turning ashes into stones may not be a conventional way to cope with grief, but for Kaylee Massey and her family, it has been a beautiful and meaningful process. The stones represent the love they have for their daughter and serve as a reminder of the strength and resilience they have shown throughout their journey of grief and healing.
In the face of unimaginable loss, Kaylee and Jake have found a way to honor their daughter’s memory and keep her spirit alive. The stones may be small, but their impact on the Massey family is immeasurable. They are a testament to the power of love, resilience, and finding beauty in the midst of grief.
