Being single is the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. The lovely freedom it entails. Being able to own your own time, your agenda, your plans. Its economy. Live your life! Avoiding some less talented man who just sucks, interferes with my life, my jaw and my training. To avoid being constantly criticized for my shortcomings (which I firmly claim are actually not very many), when the man’s ditto are always apparently non-existent.
To avoid receiving a lot of completely unwanted and always stupid tips and advice. To avoid listening to a lot of substandard Yiddish. Avoiding consuming jealousy and controlling behaviors. To avoid suffering when he pathetically tries to ramble on about things that took place more than twenty years ago. Alternatively, pretend to be outright lies about things they claim to do (which they say because they think I’ll be impressed).
There are many men to enjoy. He is rarely the only one.
Above all, not having to be an item is what I appreciate very, very much. I refuse to be a couple. Solitude simply does not suit someone like me. But! Is it that simple? Of course not. No matter what you do in life, the ass is still behind. I thought “dating” or “one night stand” meant just that. That you see each other maybe only once and then never see the old man again. Alternatively, possibly sometime every six months. Because there are MANY men to enjoy. And he is rarely the only one.
But no! I’d say dating and one night stands have a completely different meaning for ninety-nine percent of all men. They seem to think that just because they were allowed to dip, they have the right to behave exactly how they want. Mostly as if they are together with me. They pester all channels and sites and social media. They text and email. The worst is when they start CALLING! They are bracing themselves. They become passive aggressive and say things like “BUT I SEE YOU ARE MEETING OTHERS! Then you also have time for me”.
And even though I explain in a very educational way that I have neither the time nor the energy to meet (no desire to meet them in particular, I avoid writing so as not to upset them more than they already are) it is as if they are illiterate , because after only a few days it starts again. The noise. The message. The ringing. The hysterical behavior.
It’s as if they think they’ve never met a single woman before and at any cost must have just me. There MUST be other women out there! There MUST be more women than me you can sleep with. Tried Tinder? It’s just to swipe someone in, right? Or pub ragga.
The missionary in your too soft bed is not enough.
Actually, I’m not that wonderful, but I’m a rather tired thin woman who goes to bed at seven and gets up at five. Who just does my shit and shits on the man in question. Then it’s much better that he instead dates some lovely curvy female who likes to sit up and wink and praise his cooking skills.
That I should have to block a man after a single date feels very excessive and the town is so small, so I always prefer to solve it in other ways. Block becomes the last resort and destroys the relationship forever. Women, I need your sisterhood now please! Be the true feminist you all think you are and help a woman in need. If you sleep more with your husbands, you will remove an enormous burden of stress from me (who is also chronically physically stressed). I can’t bear to take care of all the men in the country. I’m way too exhausted.
And it’s not enough with a little missionary on Friday in your too soft bed. He wants some more hanky spanky! There are a lot of apps with cheap toys. Spank him up a bit. Try to porn in a more fun place. The car or why not a public toilet. The car wash is awesome. If you don’t like kink, you can fake it a little, they won’t notice a difference. Only they can LIE! So they stop being in my face.
Can’t you just poke them in the ass a little so they calm down? Talk a little dirty? And to all nagging men, I just want to say: YOU DON’T OWN ME! Read “The Game”. It says how to hang, that is, lie low, never nag and stop rambling about old merits. Also: have a life of your own. Leave me alone!
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