Published6. January 2024, 12:31
FinDom: “Money has become a fetish” – sexologist explains FinDom
Sending money to strangers, often without anything in return – that’s the excitement for people in the FinDom scene. A sexologist classifies.
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Agnes Silvani is a sexologist and offers sexual and couples therapy.
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FinDom stands for “financial domination” and is part of the BDSM scene. Domination refers to one person’s money.
20min/Ela Çelik
Our society and relationships are characterized by different power relations.
Pexels / Sora Shimazaki
That’s what it’s about
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People from the FinDom scene who are offering and looking can be found on social media.
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Sexologist Agnes Silvani explains the appeal of FinDom through the game of dominance and humiliation.
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Such elements are very often part of sexual fantasies.
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At FinDom, this power difference takes place through the transfer of money, says Silvani.
Sexual offerings are diverse on social media. You can also find offers for FinDom, where people usually find each other via Tiktok, X and Instagram. FinDom stands for “financial domination”. It is usually men who regularly send women money or gifts and feel pleasure through this act. Sexologist Agnes Silvani classifies.
Ms. Silvani, what is the appeal of FinDom?
FinDom is about power and powerlessness, about dominance and humiliation. These are strong emotions that we all know. Power imbalances exist in most workplaces and relationships. In FinDom it is simply conscious, sought after and has sexual connotations – linked to lust. FinDom contains the word domination, which is part of the BDSM scene and is also about pleasurable dominance and submission. At FinDom, the “medium of exchange” is simply money and not a crack of the whip or being tied up.
What is BDSM?
BDSM stands for “Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism”. It stands for a variety of sexual practices that often include elements of dominance and submission, playful punishment and pleasure through pain or bondage games.
To what extent can money be arousing?
Money is the means of power in our capitalist system. In our society, money has become something of a fetish. Why else would people spend a ridiculous amount of money on watches, handbags or types of whiskey if it is not affective, i.e. with a little excitement? At the same time, money is taboo in our society – and money as a medium of exchange for erotic activities is doubly taboo.
Are such FinDom relationships healthy?
There is a consensus between the slaves and money mistresses, so there is an agreed power differential. Just because it seems strange to many people does not mean that it is pathological.
Are the “money mistresses” only interested in money?
Almost everything is now available for purchase and I see FinDom as a kind of extension of Onlyfans. Money is just a means to an end. It’s about the feelings that come with this trade.
Why can financial domination create arousal?
Arousal is a very complex thing and is not fully understood. Simply put, there are connections in the brain between physical arousal and certain feelings that are sexual. These can be very different things, scents, objects, people, certain shoes, certain situations or very specific scenarios. Pain can also be eroticized. At FinDom it is an erotic transfer of power in the form of money.
There are different theories regarding BDSM. There is a theory that difficult or exciting feelings from childhood are conquered erotically in adulthood. This means that if someone experienced powerlessness as a child, that person will seek out similar situations later and transform them into something pleasurable. If money is the specific stimulus, one might ask whether the topic of money caused feelings of powerlessness in childhood?
Another theory is that the feelings serve as a compensation for everyday life – if someone feels (too) powerful or inferior in their professional life, this can be balanced out through opposing sexual practices. But theories should always be treated with caution; as possible explanations, not as absolute truths.
What is the appeal of playing with power and powerlessness?
Power, violence and humiliation are a very common part of sexual fantasies. However, only a fraction of people want to try out these fantasies in life. These emotions are “forbidden” in everyday life and prohibitions are powerful stimuli and sexually interesting. FinDom, BDSM or role play can allow many feelings that are repressed or forbidden from everyday life. Sexuality is a very good means of conquering all feelings erotically – in bed we can express parts of ourselves that otherwise would not come to light.
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2024-01-06 20:50:32
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