Psychological counseling or marital therapy? Which of them saves the relationship with a life partner? | Lifestyle

Resorting to marital relations counselors has become widespread in Arab circles over the past few years, due to the absence of the role of parents in fair arbitration between the two partners, and several reasons for the exacerbation of marital problems without reaching satisfactory solutions for both parties.

The wife often begins to seek help from a psychiatrist after a deep feeling that something is wrong with her relationship with her life partner, and this is what Amira Khaled (29 years old) did, after long problems between her and her husband in which they were close to the brink of divorce, but the matter did not work. It was not useful at first, as she knew the causes of her depression but did not treat it, because her husband refused to undergo marital therapy sessions with her. For many months, Amira tried to change his idea of ​​the concept of marital counseling until she succeeded and together they began their journey to save their marriage.

Both parties in the relationship may not know what they really need: medical advice or marital advice, individual or group therapy? Which is better for getting their relationship out of the bottleneck? Therefore, Dr. Boris Herzberg, a consultant in psychiatry and relationships, explained in an article written on the Psychology Today website, that there are some differences between the two systems, and knowing these differences may further assist in the process of determining the appropriate treatment for relationships.

Individual treatment

Herzberg describes individual therapy as a deeply personal and exploratory journey within oneself, delving into the subconscious, allowing people to reveal aspects of themselves that they may not have even known existed.

Through the sessions, people begin to build a deep and different relationship with themselves, so that they can – perhaps for the first time – support themselves, feel in control of their lives, and rely on themselves more.

In individual therapy, the concept of grief changes, and the person abandons past experiences, begins to reconcile with reality, and accepts himself, his family, and his restrictions, thus beginning the stage of liberation from painful experiences and beginning balanced relationships with others.

Couples therapy

Couples therapy focuses on resolving conflicts and improving communication between partners. According to psychological consultant Herzberg, marital therapy focuses on developing the skills of reaching agreements between spouses. Therefore, it is necessary to determine what will be discussed in the sessions under mutual agreements.

Just as the agreements reached are an exercise in communication, Herzberg emphasizes that discovering the differences and differences between spouses is not actually a negative thing, but quite the opposite, as it helps spouses appreciate the uniqueness of themselves and their partners.

Different treatment strategies

Shaima Hassan (34 years old) went through a journey of psychotherapy, both individual and couple, which continued with her for 4 consecutive years. Her therapist’s approach to dealing with her differed in each type of treatment separately.

Shaima confirmed to Al Jazeera Net that her therapist during the first stage of treatment, which she underwent alone, relied on analyzing every minute detail related to her personality, childhood, upbringing, and social relationships before and after marriage, even dreams. The treatment was dependent on her, and in every session her doctor would tell her to write down her dreams. And write down the ideas that come to her after the sessions.

But in marital therapy, the matter was different. Shaima says, “I felt that I had gone to a different doctor than the one I had been dealing with for the previous 3 years.” The marital therapy stage in her life was the stage of treatment that might be useful before the final separation between the spouses occurred. In it, her treating doctor focused on Personal issues between spouses and the decision-making mechanism, in addition to resistance to changes that could hinder one party in the relationship.

How do you make the decision to resort to any type of treatment?

Dr. Sarah Abdel Hamid, Consultant Psychiatrist and School of Psychiatry at Ain Shams University, explains that both types of treatment have different benefits, but what determines resorting to either of them is the real needs of the two partners, and the extent of understanding on the basic points between them.

The psychotherapy journey “is a personal journey,” as Abdel Hamid describes it, even if it is within the framework of marital therapy. It is intended for specific personalities, and the same journey and its steps are not suitable for two other people. Each relationship has special goals, motives, and ways to create harmony and synchronization within the relationship.

There are different desired results from both marital and individual therapy, determined by the psychiatry consultant at specific points according to Al Jazeera Net:

Expected results from marital therapy:

• Improve communication and conflict resolution skills.
• Enhance understanding and empathy with your partner.
• Identify and address relationship dynamics and create harmony between partners.
• Managing emotions and the past that is far from the present but negatively affects it.
• Setting common goals and working to achieve them.

Desired results from individual treatment

• Self exploration.
• Support personal growth and development.
• Detecting unconscious behaviors and personality patterns.
• Let go of painful memories of the past.
• Self-acceptance and acceptance of shortcomings and mistakes.
• Overcoming trauma of all kinds.

Sarah Abdel Hamid confirms to Al Jazeera Net that “one of the parties to the relationship must initially undergo individual treatment because he believes that the relationship’s dysfunction is due to him, and because of previous mistakes or childhood traumas he was exposed to, he carries all the problems of the relationship with himself, then after a period of treatment and with the help of his doctor, he discovers that There are other reasons for his current problems in his relationship with his partner, perhaps some of them are related to the past, but in any case the treatment does not stop with him alone, and here comes the stage of marital therapy.”

She continued, sometimes the spouses resort together to a marital relations counselor to restructure the form of their relationship, after undergoing multiple attempts at a solution to no avail. In this case, one or both of them may need individual treatment to solve problems related to each of them’s past that affect his management of his relationship with his partner, and in some cases There is little need for it.

The treating physician is responsible for determining the type of treatment that both partners need, and the School of Psychiatry at the Faculty of Medicine, Ain Shams University, confirms that regularity in sessions and following up on the required exercises on a regular basis is what determines the feasibility of treatment and its ability to reconcile between the two parties.