Insecurity
There are a lot of reasons not to sleep with someone: a journey to self-love, for example. This also includes no desire, no interest or anything else. For a while now, a personal insecurity has been high on my list, namely my stomach.
Sometimes I scroll through my media library and spot a photo of my naked body among the 22,000 images. No, it’s not nude. Okay, sometimes it’s a nude. But when I went to the gym regularly, I took pictures of my body to monitor my progress. My main goal was to become fitter, and the fact that I felt more fit was a nice side effect. We are long past those times. For over a year and a half, I have grown attached to my dining room chair, my gym membership is but a distant memory and I have only trained the arm movement from a snack on my lap to my mouth. Although it is exactly what makes me feel good, it does not make me any slimmer.
Don’t get me wrong, I embrace my body in a body neutral way – it does what it’s supposed to do. But the increasing weight has become a point of uncertainty. The red prints of my waistband remind me that I went from a loose fit to skin tight have gone. I consider the uncomfortable feeling that comes over me when I look in the mirror to be a serious problem. Not because of how I look, but because of how I feel about this. I prefer not to look into a shiny glass plate, especially not when I’m not wearing any clothes.
Not only does my mental state suffer from this uncertainty, my dating and sex life are also not improving. And I know all too well that I’m not the only one getting in the way of this.
2023-11-26 08:04:37
#Misha #dont #forage #insecure #body
