Life-Threatening Coma: A Family’s Nightmare in Turkey

Desiree (49) is married to François (54) and has three daughters, Cassandra (27), Vanita (25) and Xiomara (17). Last year, the traditional family holiday to Turkey went completely different than planned. Desiree was in a coma for two weeks and there were fears for her life. “I don’t remember much about it.”

“I have been going on holiday to Turkey with my husband and children for years. We always have a great time there and we were really disappointed when it couldn’t go ahead for a few years due to corona. But we had booked again in 2022. This time only Cassandra and Xiomara came along. Everyone was happy that it was possible again.
We flew via Germany and had an evening flight, so our night’s sleep was quite interrupted. When we arrived at the hotel, the four of us first had breakfast, then we went to the pool. I was cold and shivery. “I don’t think the short sleep did me any good, I’m going to lie in bed for another hour,” I said to my husband and children. I found it completely understandable that I wasn’t feeling well. Not for a second did I think that something bad might be going on. “I’ll be right back,” I shouted. François and the girls weren’t worried either. They were tired just like me and also suffered from the enormous temperature difference with the Netherlands. We assumed that we would all feel fine again after a good night’s sleep.”

Fears of death

“After an hour and a half, however, I still had not come down. François came to take stock. He wanted to know how I was doing. “I’m fine,” I replied. I wasn’t as shaky anymore, but I was still tired. “I’m going to lie down for a while,” I said. Another hour and a half later Cassandra and Xiomara came to check on me. They found me in a dirty bed, I had vomited terribly. I vaguely remember them putting me in the shower. I was still responsive, but clearly very ill. The hotel doctor was called and the ambulance was called immediately. I didn’t panic, I didn’t have the strength to do that. The last thing I remember is the doctor coming in. Then the light went out.
I had to find out from François and the children what happened in the weeks that followed. It’s very bizarre that they had to fill that out for me. I simply lost two weeks of my life, not only in time, but also in emotions. I did not experience what they endured. They were terrified while I was unconscious.”

Life-threatening

“Initially at the hospital they thought I was dehydrated. I was given fluids and antibiotics, but my blood values ​​turned out to be abnormal. François came to visit me the next day, but the room I was in was empty. I was taken to the ICU for acute renal failure. I had a serious infection, low blood pressure and high liver values. My situation was life-threatening. Although François and the children initially saw it positively, they panicked when they heard that the two days that would follow would be crucial. Through an interpreter they were told that I had only a ten percent chance of survival. That evening I underwent a cardiac catheterization. My husband and Xiomara said goodbye to me knowing that they would not see me alive again. Cassandra had stayed behind in the hotel. She didn’t dare go to the hospital, she thought it was too hard.
François has remained strong next to my bed. “Shouldn’t you be crying?” Xiomara asked him in the hallway. That’s where he broke. He had suppressed his tears because he didn’t want to let me know, even though I was in a comatose state. There was a chance that I would gain something from it. By the way, they were not allowed into my room together, a rule due to the after-effects of corona. I find it heartbreaking to think that Xiomara said goodbye to her mother there alone as a 15-year-old.”

Nightmare

“I was connected to kidney dialysis. The next few days I felt so bad that my husband and children were not allowed to visit me. While it is normal in the Netherlands to visit an ICU, this is not the case in Turkey. François was kept informed by telephone. It was now clear what was wrong with me. I had a gastroenteritis, which resulted in blood poisoning. So sepsis. The result was organ failure. I would not be in pain, the doctors assured my family. Because my situation was still seriously life-threatening, I was kept asleep.
François and the children spent their days in the hotel room. They played games every now and then and went for a walk every now and then, but they mainly sat on the phone when news came. And François was very busy with arranging things; he constantly called the emergency center and the insurance company. They experienced a nightmare, of which I experienced nothing. My condition changed little.”

Happy and relieved

“After a few days my values ​​started to improve slightly. Francois. Cassandra and Xiomara had meanwhile moved to another hotel. The girls had too many negative associations with the room. They saw me over and over again lying there so sick in that bed.
I was very carefully brought out of my coma. I started moving my arms and opening my eyes a little every now and then. I was still on a ventilator. The fact that I was recovering little by little also passed me by. Because of all the medication I was still in a different world. It wasn’t until four or five days later that I was really awake. And two days later I have my first memories again. I had now been taken off the ventilator and was able to drink small sips again. My voice sounded hoarse and I lay stiff in bed, unable to move. ‘What am I doing here? We were on holiday, what happened?’ I wanted to know. I didn’t understand anything, even when it was explained to me. When it dawned on me that I couldn’t do anything, I panicked. “Will it be okay?” I wanted to know. I wanted to get out of bed or at least raise my headboard to sit up. But I couldn’t get it all done. I didn’t feel sick, but of course I was. François and the children were extremely happy and relieved that I had survived, but they were also sad because of everything they had been through.”

Back to the Netherlands

“It wasn’t until about five days after my memories returned that I realized how serious the situation was. I wanted to go home and became rebellious. I didn’t want to eat or drink, so I was given a nasogastric tube. I had developed bedsores from lying down for a long time. And the first time the physio made me sit on the edge of the bed, I hung there like a bag of salt, completely crooked and collapsed. I wasn’t worth much anymore. I didn’t understand a lot either. Why did I have a sore throat? I didn’t notice that I was on a ventilator. And I saw plasters on my legs from the heart catheterization. “You had surgery,” François said when I asked him afterwards. I couldn’t comprehend it, it was just too much to process.
My medical return flight was scheduled more than three weeks after I arrived in Turkey. But then it turned out that I had fluid behind my lungs and I ended up in the ICU again. I have lost pieces of that period again. Ultimately, I flew to the Netherlands about a week later, where I spent another week in the hospital. Then I went to a rehabilitation center for six weeks.”

Gratitude

“There is a Desiree from before and one from after that holiday. My arms no longer function 100 percent, I am deaf on the left side, I have four brain damage and the ventilator has damaged the nerves in my upper lip, causing me to have tingling 24 hours a day. When I’m tired, it’s hard for me to express myself. And my short-term memory is bad. Every day I have to reconsider what I will and will not do, what I have planned for the next day and whether it can be reconciled. Nothing is self-evident anymore. Yet there is also a lot of gratitude on my part that I am still here. What the doctors have done for me is unimaginable. There has been a lot of contact between the hospital in Turkey and the Máxima Medical Center. To get me back to the Netherlands, a doctor and a nurse flew in from Austria. It’s a very crazy idea that this has all been for me.
Losing part of your life is very drastic. I couldn’t deal with that well and had help from a medical psychologist. I especially hated the fact that I could not fully empathize with the sadness and emotion that François and the girls had felt. They had already discussed my funeral completely, they were so scared… When I saw them cry about that, I registered their tears, but I didn’t feel the pain. It was way too surreal.
The therapy has helped. I now accept that I cannot simply evoke that feeling. I would like to fully empathize with them, but that is virtually impossible. Being in a coma is a real mindfuck, I still struggle with it.”

Flashback

“I will no longer reach my old level, it is no different. I miss that I can no longer just do something spontaneously and have to plan everything. I have a helper for heavy household tasks and I am very picky about where I put my energy. I don’t worry about small, silly things anymore. The physical consequences of that period in Turkey are not all visible. That’s why not everyone understands what’s going on with me. The fact that I often have to say no has already cost me some friends.
I was very afraid that I would get sick again. Even more brain damage is unacceptable to me, I have already told François. A few months ago I had surgery and shortly afterwards I became so shaky again, I recognized it straight away. The GP did not take any chances and immediately called the ambulance. Fortunately, nothing appeared to be wrong. I have never seen François cry so much as the moment that reassurance came. He had a flashback, all the misery came back for a moment.
This year I turn fifty. The chance that I would reach that age was only ten percent, so we are going to celebrate it exuberantly. And this fall we are going to Turkey again. Life goes on – thankfully. And even though it is different than before, I am enjoying it again.”
Text: Hester Zitvast
Photo: Ruud Hoornstra
Make-up: Lisette Verhoofstad

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2023-10-23 21:55:54
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