Valentine’s Story: A Journey of Triumph and Resilience Against Cancer

Door: Sandra Ooms

Valentine’s story began in 2007 when she felt a painful twinge in her chest. She recalls: “I woke up one day and felt a painful twinge in my chest. I felt a bump where the pain was. Within a few days I was at the doctor. Breast cancer. Unfortunately, breast-conserving surgery was no longer possible, during the operation my left breast was completely removed, including the lymph nodes.” She continues: “When I woke up, they told me there were metastases in my armpit. Six weeks later, all the lymph nodes were removed from my armpit.” The period after her operation and chemotherapy treatment was intense. Valentine: “It was seven very tough chemotherapy treatments. I survived, but was quite weak and ill for a good year. I still have weak muscles and painful joints, which are the residual symptoms of the chemo.”

Wonderful years

In 2008, Valentine bought an old post office with her husband, photographer Kenneth Stamp, where they lived, worked and exhibited. Valentine received hormone therapy. Everything went well and they had wonderful years together. Until disaster struck again in 2019. Valentine shares: “I was short of breath, had heartburn and a lot of pain in my shoulder. I immediately went to the doctor. I immediately said that I thought something was wrong, that the cancer had come back.” Her intuition kept warning her. Valentine continues: “The GP was of the opinion that the pain in my shoulder was adhesions and I should see a physiotherapist who specialized in cancer. But the pain only got worse. Afterwards this turned out to be a large tumor, but the GP did not take me seriously and was of the opinion that I could have it to my heart, I come from a family of heart patients. The waiting list for a heart film was extremely long. I reported to the oncologist at the time, he also thought that I should wait for the ECG, despite my fears. In June 2019, the ECG was finally made, they saw some black spots on the lungs, but they attributed this to her smoking history from years ago. Valentine continues: “When all the complaints became more and more severe, I went to the doctor again, asking whether the cancer could have spread to my stomach. The doctor assured me that breast cancer never spreads to the stomach, he said it was simply impossible. Metastases only go to the lungs and bones. It would later turn out that, very rarely, my cancer had spread to my stomach. When he heard that, he took me seriously, but the trust was gone.”

Death sentence

Valentine: “In August 2019 I was fed up. I called the hospital and said that I wanted a consultation with the gastrointestinal specialist. I was close to despair and shouted ‘I will stay in the waiting room until I am helped.’ This made an impression, the same afternoon I was able to have a gastroscopy. The next day I got a call. It was very wrong. The doctor told Valentine that the cancer had spread and there was little they could do except palliative care. Valentine was told that she would probably not make it to Christmas and that she had to ‘arrange everything’ before the end of her life. She shares: “The horrible news hit me like a bomb. I walked into the hospital quite fit but almost had to be carried out. My body collapsed. As if it was only then that it was allowed to let go, the big news was finally out. I was so incredibly upset. Yes, I told the oncologist that I didn’t feel taken seriously all those months before. After all, all doors now flew open. He understood that I was angry, but also told me that those ‘few’ months made no difference. I’ll never know. Besides, I was too busy with my body. I was in so much pain from the palliative radiation. I lay in bed for weeks, getting up was impossible. During that period I sometimes thought: ‘If this pain continues like this, then I’m done for.’ I had already signed my euthanasia declaration and my will. Miraculously, I slowly recovered once the hormone therapy was started. Two weeks later than hoped, but I was tired of ‘fighting’ against the experts.”

One day, her left arm became paralyzed by tumors, which had since spread to her liver, lungs, bones and stomach. “They didn’t think it was necessary to rehabilitate my arm, I just had to visit a psychologist. Then I trained my arm myself. Corona broke out and I became very anxious. Confidence in the hospital was already not great, but now that I received no response to my concerned questions, it had completely disappeared. Valentine eventually found confidence in the Antoni van Leeuwenhoek Hospital (AVL) in Amsterdam, where she was lovingly received.

‘The best of the worst’

The AVL specialists told her that they could still do a lot for her and that she had ‘the best of the worst’.” Valentine smiles: “I would definitely go for that Christmas.” Unfortunately, things went wrong again in 2021, immediately after her corona vaccination. “I could hardly walk. If I had had corona it might have been worse, who knows. However, at the AGM they were shocked by how quickly the metastases grew. I immediately received the highest dose of radiation. I was also given other medications, because cancer is very smart. It recognizes tricks and avoids them. If you are weak, it is very important not to get sick. I did have a bladder infection, which may have been the cause of the rapid metastases. However, with the new treatment I was able to walk like a lapwing again within a few weeks. That went very well for a long time.”

Hope and fear

Last month, unfortunately, things went wrong again. Valentine: “At the beginning of September they saw new metastases at the AVL and I was given chemo pills. Eight a day. That’s big. I feel that in my body. I get tired very quickly and have a lot of pain. I will have another scan soon, it remains exciting. The ‘tumor marker’ had gone down slightly.” While life remains between hope and fear for Valentine, she remains optimistic. Despite the setbacks in her treatment, because worrying about this takes too much energy and she does not let that be taken away from her. “I enjoy all the beautiful things I experience and am happy that I am still here. I sometimes say I’m ‘lucky’. People may look at me strangely, but in 2019 I heard that the curtain was going to fall. I’m still here! I am no longer afraid of death. At the time I thought death was coming for me and I didn’t mind because of all the suffering. Somehow that made me less afraid.”

Intuition

Valentine especially wants to tell fellow sufferers that you should always listen to your intuition. “Your intuition is never wrong. Keep asking questions if the voice in your head tells you something is wrong. Be vocal. I am not someone who really wants to tell this whole story, but I would like to give this message. So I decided to make my voice heard and express my gratitude to the AVL. Remember: your intuition can be one of your most powerful allies.”

Valentine: ‘Be assertive and keep asking questions’– (foto: Kenneth Stamp)

2023-10-18 18:01:00
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