She calls it ‘her biggest secret’. Nevertheless, television maker Lidewij Nuitten wants to share with the whole of Flanders that she is still a virgin at the age of 31 in her new program The Virgins Club. ‘In the hope that the next generation of women will no longer have to walk around for years with the idea that they are abnormal.’
Pieter DumonOctober 3, 2023, 3:17 PM
We were previously able to follow the search for your first love on TV and in We are family you focused the spotlight on the relationship with your family. But this is a lot more intimate. Did you hesitate for a long time to create this program?
“No. With every program I make, there are probably a lot of rational reasons not to do it, but I don’t want to let that slow me down. This time it’s about sex. Many people will indeed find that intimate. But I look at that in a different way.
“I have a condition called vulvodynia, which makes penetrative sex very painful. Which in turn has meant that at 31 I’m still technically a virgin. So it is a medical condition, just like migraine is one. That’s what I talk about in The Virgin Club, not about what my sex life is like and which positions I prefer. I would never do that on TV.”
Why did you keep that secret for so long?
“Because it is still a taboo. Of course, I had felt for some time that my body was not functioning quite like all the others, but I had no idea what was going on. It wasn’t until I was 28 that I first heard that what I had was a medical condition. And that I am far from the only one who suffers from it.
“Before that, I thought for years that I was abnormal. And I tried to hide that as best I could. Perhaps that is the main reason why I am creating this program. I want to avoid the same thing happening to the next generation of women.”
How difficult was it to share your story with those around you?
“I have undergone a huge metamorphosis in that area. For the very first recording I had to tell my secret to two good friends. That was very scary. When I stood in the elevator to their apartment, I wanted to run away as quickly as possible. Just the idea that I would tell two men about the problem with my vagina was horrible to me. Fortunately, they both turned out to be very understanding and sweet. That made me feel: it’s okay to talk about this.
“Since then, a lot of my trepidation has disappeared. I would have dismissed it as completely impossible that I would now be talking openly about my vulvodynia and penetrative sex with a journalist about a year ago.”
Indeed, I have rarely seen a primetime program that focuses so much on vulvas and penetration.
“It is also the intention of The Virgin Club to normalize those types of conversations. It’s 2023, what’s the big deal? A program like The Virgin Club should not be sensational. What’s more, in the ideal scenario, my maiden club, for which I am looking for members in the program, will become obsolete as quickly as possible. Whether or not someone has had sex, for whatever reason, should not be an issue. But to reach that point, we must first discuss the topic openly.”
In the program you look for thirty virgins over the age of 30 to form your own virgin club. What’s on the club’s agenda?
“First and foremost, organize a big dance party. And then, as one of my friends once suggested, maybe go bowling. (laughs) I’ll see how much enthusiasm there is for that. Dutch figures show that 7 percent of people over thirty are virgins. So it happens more often than you think. With The Virgins Club I want to make the members feel that they are not alone.”
The virgin club, from October 18 on VRT 1.
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2023-10-03 13:17:17
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