Many people search for the “elixir” of a happy life, and some believe that achieving big dreams and excellence lead to happiness, but this sometimes makes the possibility of living an exemplary life disappointing, or even closer to failure than success.
“Not everyone achieves their dreams,” Shirley Hodes, who celebrated her 107th birthday earlier this month, told CNBC. “If you want to be happy in your life, especially as you get older, you have to look at other things besides dreams.”
According to the site, this philosophy should not be harsh or defeatist. Instead, it may mean redirecting yourself toward finding joy in the little things, in what you can control, and in desiring what you already have.
“You have to be satisfied with who you are and what you can expect from yourself,” Hodes explains. “Look for things that are fulfilling.”
Hodes admits that programming this type of happiness mindset requires effort, but she emphasizes that working on this matter can pay off, as positivity is linked to a longer and healthier life.
Here are Hood’s top tips for staying happy as you age:
Think to yourself that you are lucky
Hoods is a blind and deaf woman who moves slowly. But her eyes sparkle with curiosity, and thanks to her hearing aids, she can carry on conversations with other residents in her nursing home. Some of them are 20 years younger than her, yet they don’t have her energy.
According to her mindset, you should focus less on what others have, and more on the aspects of life that you are grateful for. According to Hodes, this prevents her from drifting into jealousy or resentment, and she says: “You have to evaluate what you have, how special it is, and how lucky you are.”
Little things, like listening to recorded books, going for a walk, watching old movies on TV, a piece of ice cream after dinner and most importantly her family, make her happy on a daily basis.
She talks on the phone with her only surviving sister, 103-year-old Ruth Swidler, and with her daughter, who visits her several times a week. She hangs pictures of her grandchildren and their children on the wall.
As the seventh of 8 children; Living in a cramped rented apartment with her working-class immigrant family, Hoods did not get many of the things she wanted, including the opportunity to go to university, and even had to work when she reached high school.
Although longing is evident in her tone of voice when she talks about what she could have achieved if she had completed her education, she soon returns to expressing her appreciation for who she is.
“I don’t expect this wonderful life to last much longer,” Hodes says. I’m on edge now. What happens will happen. The important thing is to enjoy it and appreciate it.”
Reframing negative thoughts and focusing on the positives
Hodes points out that some people only focus on what does not go according to their plans. “It’s very bad to live like this,” she says. You have to focus on the positive things.”
When Hoods finds herself thinking unproductively, she redirects her thoughts, like an internal GPS. She reminds herself that “everyone has things that don’t go well,” and that what matters is flexibility, being “able to adjust your thoughts and dreams.”
According to the site, various prominent figures, such as former President Barack Obama and former monk Jay Shetty, recommend that a person remain optimistic by responding to the voice of dissatisfaction or envy in your head. For Shetty, positivity requires resisting urges to compare, complain, and criticize, which he described as “cancers of the mind” in his 2020 book, “Think Like a Monk.”
Instead of focusing on his frustrations, Obama reminds himself that the situation could always be worse. “I try to keep perspective,” Obama says. “This helps develop gratitude for what I have and avoid negativity about what I don’t have.”
This approach has worked for Hoods for decades. “Most people are disappointed,” she says. “But I have many things to be thankful for.” I think I will die knowing and realizing how lucky I was, and that I had the best of the best. “When I think about my life and its wonders, I feel so grateful.”
