Cesara Buonamici, icon of moderation and deadly tedium: rating 5
A lukewarm debut for Cesara Buonamici in the unprecedented role of studio commentator on Big Brother. In a virginal white suit, she almost immediately reveals that she hates “telenovelas with hundreds of episodes” because she can’t handle them. She urgently needs some kind soul to let her know where she is. On air since the morning of September 11th, for Stakhanovism she is formally a candidate as the new Barbara d’Urso. However, it is not enough to be a business person, one and all, to match Carmelita. In this first episode, Buonamici did not have the slightest impact with her comments, limiting himself to vegetating, from time to time, drawing on the threads of grief and drama of each competitor. If he tries to intervene, he does so by coming up with uncomfortable tickling questions and jokes that would embarrass the late Colorado, even if the late Colorado had ever been set in a nursery school (“the boy who works as a shoemaker came in to make shoes for everyone, have you understood Alfonso?”). The only twist: she spoils the existence of the hovel to the tenants – who no, are no longer called “Vipponi”. If his presence is certainly synonymous with moderation in morals, for the moment it is also synonymous with profound tedium. At the end, she takes her leave saying that she “fell in love with all the contestants”. That’s better. But who knows if they bored her…
Greece Colmenares, blue fairy (or killer doll?): vote 7
He’s still acting like he was in Topaz, of course. And making use of just the two facial expressions that made her famous at the roaring dawn of the nineties. Grecia Colmenares, among the handful of “VIP” competitors of this edition, doesn’t have time to cross the red door before she immediately finds herself in the hovel of the house. Not bad, she immediately starts tidying up with the abundance of a scavenger fish, spreading smiles and coaxing to all the dust. For those who remember, she participated in the Island of the Famous in 2018, lasting eighteen days. For everyone else, we can say that she is in front of a kind of blue fairy: happy-hearted by nature, proudly single, she does not rule out finding love. And she laughs, laughs all the time. Too much sugar, however, in the long run or in the short term ends up causing tooth decay. Time will tell whether this one from Colmenares is a mask or not. In the meantime, let’s promote. Even just for the annoyance that such a neat freak will inevitably cause in the other roommates. More jovial for no reason than Michelle Hunziker, will her toothy smile soon turn into the grin of Chucky, the killer doll? Let’s hope so.
Giselda protagonist (but the decibels need to be adjusted): rating 4/5
For 15 years, a shift worker in a Venetian plastics molding company (whatever that means), Giselda Torresan is already among Alfonso Signorini’s favourites. Unfortunately. A “Nip” competitor, that is, not famous, ours proudly professes to be a mountain girl and in love with Mauro Corona. Then she spots the “beef” butcher Paolo and wavers on her sentimental convictions. The only woman in the factory where she works, her colleagues intervene to greet her and one of them, in her group, simulates a more than explicit act of oral sex with his hand. In the studio she sits back, on social media not at all. Giselda, then, doesn’t speak, she screams like and perhaps more than a transalpine kite. Incessantly. Considered by script the “comic” and dazed character of this edition, we are only at the presentations and she has already pierced the eardrums of the host and the public throughout. Furthermore, something doesn’t add up: her Instagram profile has over 138 thousand followers. Not really an “unknown” and this could favor her when she has to deal with televoting. The good news is that almost all of her adventure companions are playing on equal terms: despite proclamations and diktats from above, none of the competitors are known only to those who brought them into the world. Most already have a #adv factory social following, rather than a plastic one. Giselda included.
Beatrice Luzzi, finally a viper: vote 8
If a good morning starts in the morning, perhaps all is not lost. The hopes of aficionados of the father of all reality shows can only turn, ventricles in hand, to Beatrice Luzzi. The actress played the “very bad” Eva Bonelli in the Canale 5 soap Vivere and Signorini confesses how much that character terrified him every afternoon. She thus demonstrated that she had not followed half an episode of the soap opera set on Lake Como. Not bad, Luzzi is immediately thrown into the hovel where she finds the cheerful Colmenares-Cinderella. “Why are you so happy to be in this horrible place?” she asks as anyone with common sense would. Mother of two children who prophesied her victory, she loves attending contemporary art exhibitions where her children, however, no longer accompany her. Because they hate them. “They’re grown up now and that’s also why – she says – I came here”. She then warns everyone about her because “I’m a Scorpio” and calls Colmenares a “loser” before even meeting her. Will it give wicked satisfaction? It will give wicked satisfactions. Eva Bonelli lives.
Gentlemen, mother abbess, the only one who really needs to be scrapped: vote 4
There has been talk for months about the new course of moderation that Big Brother would undertake following the decision of Piersilvio Berlusconi himself. So it was: “finally in the house we see normal, everyday people, a great personal satisfaction for me”, announces the host Alfonso Signorini. Turning out, always and in any case, to be the only element of reality that really needed to be changed. Or, if not the only one, at least the first. Now, however, ours happily flits around the studio, recreating an out-of-season summer oratory atmosphere that is also steeped in rhetoric: the good-looking contestant has at least three degrees, another has given up Miss Italy in order to continue her studies without “headshots”, the young butcher has never seen an episode of Big Brother in his life (can we believe it?) and is only there in the hope of earning some money and thus allowing his mother to leave work to rest after so many sacrifices . Will such an unsustainable version from “Libro Cuore” gain public favor? For the moment Signorini, pretending to ignore that he is not the first to propose a cast in Nip style because Barbara d’Urso in Mediaset is as if she had never existed, is only too pleased with not having lost his job despite the excesses and the horrors that, in fact, he allowed in the past season. “Last year we made a mistake in choosing the competitors”, he had already said, very contrite, to the microphones of Silvia Toffanin, the boss’s partner, on the eve of this restart. He wanted to be the moral beacon of the whole of Italy and he is now entitled to become the moral beacon of the whole of Italy. What a blast. Only for him, obviously, but that’s it: this is how an abbess mother is born.
Rosy Chin, queen of Instagram who highlights the laziness of the authors: vote 6
“I am too Chinese for Italians and too Italian for Chinese”, is how competitor Rosy Chin introduces herself to the public. To that segment of the public that still doesn’t follow her on Instagram, she means herself. With 367 thousand followers and a renowned restaurant in Milan, she is even a great friend of Fedez (and, in fact, both she and the luxurious restaurant owned by her appear in the Prime Video series The Ferragnez). If the social following, together with the endorsement of his wife Chiara, did not guarantee Federico Lucia’s victory at Sanremo 2021, we do not want to speculate that Chin has an advantage over the other tenants. The problem, however, is that he has a very large community to which he has already told the main dramas of his life, which for now have only been mentioned in this first episode: the childhood spent washing dishes in his parents’ rooms, the hard path of emancipation as a woman and finally the loss of 60 kilos that she had accumulated in excess due to stress and other ailments. All plausibly interesting topics to explore, if only they weren’t already available on her profile in her two-minute, two-and-a-half-minute reel. In essence, she is not a competitor, she is a virtual spoiler with her feet. Such laziness, such a level of sloppiness on the part of the authors find their home on the outskirts of the ridiculous. Maybe nothing will surprise the public anymore. At least trying, however, would be a must.
There is a competitor called Giuseppe Garibaldi: rating 3
To continue that “comic line” already praised by the Boris series in perhaps not yet so suspicious times, a competitor named Giuseppe Garibaldi enters the red door. And down to laugh, it seems. In addition to believing he is a descendant of the hero of two worlds, in life he works as a janitor not by his own will but because his mother forced it on him: “she kept us in a permanent job which, as we know, is sacred for us southerners”, says the wretched. Sensitive to the charm of teachers “because they get away with it”, he reveals one (“but only one, otherwise they’ll steal them from me”) of his seduction secrets, namely the question: “Excuse me, Prof, can you tell me the way to get to the his heart?”. Frost in the studio. And also, one suspects, above the Sahara. Giuseppe enters the Cinecittà house together with his competitor Anita (the “comic line”, we were saying), a self-styled multi-graduate (in reality she has a Bachelor’s degree, a Master’s degree and a Master’s degree not yet obtained) there to carry out a very specific mission: “To demonstrate that Blondes like me aren’t all geese, I’ve been struggling with my appearance all my life!”. Obviously beautiful, if someone points it out to her, she’ll be mortally offended. “I prefer to receive compliments for my attractiveness,” she maintains. As far as I can tell, it will be tough.
2023-09-12 05:14:00
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