Mosterd’s MacBook says ‘thud’, Geniuses only have three days left and the spare laptops at GSHQ date back to prehistoric times. There will be a new one – tomorrow. So what do you do when Ronaldo sends you home saying: “Drink beer for the rest of the day“. Then you enjoy watching television, because Dutch television is a beacon of relaxation, enjoyment, information, learning and entertainment, especially in the afternoon hours. COZY!
1:00 pm – 1:12 pm
No Tour de France today. Let’s kick off with the NOS Journaal, for all your news yesterday. How Wout Poels won the stage yesterday, how Carlos Alcaraz won against Novak Djokovic yesterday, how Lionel Messi was presented yesterday in Miami. We are not allowed to know from the women’s football players (yesterday) what the result of a friendly match against South Korea has become. Equal pay!!! Anyway, if we didn’t have the NOS Journaal, we would never know what was news yesterday. Thank you NOS Journal!
13.13 – 13.25
Zap, zap, zap, damn there was just a rerun of LETTRIX on SBS6. Let’s see! According to Dyantha Brooks, we should grab a pen and paper. We don’t because we’re fucking gangsters. Wilke plays against Björn, pronounce Bjurn. Bjurn is super good because he also won last time. He wants to make a trip in West America. Because you have national parks and stuff. Wilke has a wedding planned. A wedding nowadays costs almost € 15,000! She is from Limburg. A huge shit program, already. Wilke and Bjurn start with the C and 7 letters. Centers, critics, gifts, you know it all. Something of 500 words are possible. At 4 it starts to get complicated with these language wizards. Continue with the D with 6 letters. Wilkie: “Animals.” Dyantha: “Do you like animals a bit?” Wilke: “Nee.” (…) Wilke: “Pigeons.” Dyantha: “And you don’t like animals, you know for sure?” Everyone: “Hahaha.” We’re done, we really can’t handle this crazy carnival.
13.26
Coffee. LETTRIX continues in the background. Bjürn is invincible.
13.30 – 14.00
On RTL4, Van Woonvilla tot Droomvilla starts. This is the largest commercial TV channel in the country. This will be something. Some slippery roof hare is talking about a bath. What is this guy trying to sell us? The presenter’s name is Bertram. Bertram goes to the VT Wonen fair. He shows us the new trends in the field of hinges and locks. “White! Black! Bronze! Gold! This is how you complete your interior right now.” We feel like coming hard with all these ravishing outpourings of BERTRAM. Wait, the renovation is finished in Hoofddorp. The end result is impressive. Research shows that Bertram listens to the name Bertram Terpstra. There is also a woman. She can also tell something. Pauline. She brings atmosphere into the house with scent.”The lighting plan has been applied in a different way than usual!” Sorry, we’re really not made for this hollow crack. What a torment. SMARTHOME EXPERT BERT. Tering. The word ‘cozy’ is used a lot.
14.00 – 14.50
Washing a car
14.50 – 15.43
I’m going on a trip and I’m taking with me. On SBS6. Three adventurous singles are on the love journey of their lives. They fly to some distant destination on five dates. Of course it will explode. Nigel’s with Charmaine. Now it’s all about Haye. He is in Athens. Haye is going to bring some bad news today. But who is he taking to Mykonos? Will it be Emma or will it be Kelly? Haye apparently can’t manage to pronounce six words in a row from memory, so he has a cheat sheet. If only Lodewijk Asscher was still alive. Total champ. “Dear Kelly and Emma. (blah).” Haye wants to take Kelly to Mykonos. BUT KELLY DON’T WANT!!!! Ouch ouch. What painful and uncomfortable television. Kelly feels no attraction. Emma is also pissed off. Kelly would rather go home. also: figure it out with your head.”I walk blue“, says Haye. Yes cock. Another story is Patrick’s story. He walks in a Spiderman suit. Spiderman is an outsider. Patrick too. Teeth weird. Another date from the lady (no idea what her name is, Clarabella or something) is Lars. Plot twist!”Very funny because I have that shirt too. Spiderman is also my favorite.” Hahahaha
15.50 – 16.20
Unburden yourself for half an hour at Pawn Stars. That is why there are 500 repetitions of Pawn Stars on RTL7 every day, say the camping channel for Wybren van Haga in the gym. Art and Kitsch for people without attics. It makes you dream of your own treasure. Most beautiful item of the episode: Les Paul’s cousin offers a custom Les Paul SG from Mary Ford On. Incredible. Including all kinds of documentation, signatures, the whole thing. He asks $250,000 and he settles for $90,000, what a moron.
16.27 – 17.01
In this episode we go on a journey through Austria. The Austria we know from the postcards. You guessed it. Rail Away. 3 on Tour for total champions. The episode starts and ends in Gmunden. At Ampflwang station, a steam locomotive is being prepared for departure. It’s a lot about salt. The white gold. That’s asparagus, but okay. Still a long one though. Austria is also a boring country. In the real world, GroenLinks & PvdA go to the elections with a list. We are back in Gmunden. Thank God. If you are reading this, Mosterd has a new laptop.
17.01
FIVE O’CLOCK! CLOCK OUT
2023-07-18 17:01:28
#GeenStijl #Afternoon #watching #television #happened
