“Charity Calls for More Mental Health Support for Women Undergoing IVF and Fertility Treatments”

Besides having to deal with the shock and grief of the diagnosis, Amber was outraged to learn that IVF services were not provided by the Ministry of Health in her area, even though it was available in other areas nearby.

“I felt like it was completely unfair,” she says. “We were told frankly that if we wanted to move on, the only option was to separate.”

Amber, the charity worker, held two other jobs including at estate agents on weekends, while her husband, hairdresser Marco, worked extra shifts as a delivery driver and sold his car to pay for the insemination.

Amber sank into a deep depression after two IVF cycles “failed miserably”.

“I had reached a dark place, and it got worse,” she says. “I was about to make a decision about not wanting to be here anymore. I felt like a burden to Marco, like I had let my parents down and my grandparents down. I hit rock bottom.”

Amber had to wait 14 months to see an NHS doctor, who gave her an eye movement desensitization and reprocessing treatment – a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Despite the emotional turmoil, she started a campaign to get the NHS back in her area and started support groups. Amber says it was her “proudest achievement to date”.

The couple were offered a campaign of IVF at the British Department of Health, which began in January last year, when Amber found out she was pregnant. She never believed it.

“I couldn’t understand that it had worked,” she says. “After the campaign by the Ministry of Health and everything else, it felt like a bit of a fairy tale.”

In October, Amber and Marco welcome baby Joey. Amber says the love she feels for him is something she never knew she could feel.

However, she was left with mental scars from the trauma of the past seven years.

“I felt like I had to enjoy every minute because we went through so much to get it, so you feel guilty saying, ‘This is hard,'” says Amber.

“My postpartum anxiety was so bad I didn’t feel like I could talk about it because I was worried people would think I was ungrateful.”

Infertility, which affects around one in seven couples, has significant impacts on mental health, social relationships, finances and careers, according to Dr Catherine Hill, chief executive of Fertility Network UK.

The charity surveyed 1,300 fertility patients and found that 40% had suicidal feelings, and 10% had suicidal thoughts often or even all the time.

About half of the survey respondents were able to access treatment with health insurance, but most had to finance part of it themselves.

Dr Hill says: “We know that most fertility patients would like to have emotional support, if it’s available, but fertility clinics in the UK only have to offer one free session of fertility counselling, which is far from ideal.”

Some areas offer only one free cycle of IVF at the UK’s Department of Health, although national guidelines recommend three, and others have strict criteria – for example, not having any children and falling into a certain age and weight range, she says.

“Most patients have to pay for their own medical treatment. For a country that pioneered IVF, this is unacceptable; we must do much more as a community and health system to help those facing the trauma of infertility,” says Dr. Hill. .

Kelly Keogh, 27, from Peterborough, was so nervous trying to visualize her car crashing that she quit her office job.

“Being infertile means isolating,” she says. “I wanted a baby before all my friends and they were all in the second or third trimester even before I got pregnant. I forbade myself from seeing them and lost a lot of friends because of my solitude.”

“I was really struggling and ended up in therapy,” Kelly says. “The second one caused a little bit of PTSD, so it was a really tough time.”

Her first therapist at the Department of Health “didn’t seem to understand” the procedures, but another therapist advised Kelly on ways to manage her anxiety and she felt in a much better place when she and partner Dan began a round of IVF funded by the Department of Health at the Bourne Clinic, near from Cambridge.

Baby Harlan Rae was born just before Christmas and Kelly says she couldn’t be happier. She wants to support other people going through fertility challenges and hopes to train as a fertility nurse.

“I still can’t believe we had it, I still can’t believe it’s ours,” she says.

Amber and Kelly are considering trying for another child, but they are fully aware of the emotional and financial costs, having used up their free round of IVF.

Amber is also taking steps to expand her campaign for equal access to UK Department of Health fertility treatment.

A spokesperson for the Department of Health and Social Care said it was working on a strategy for Women’s Health for England, which contained “a number of important changes and future ambitions to improve differences in access to health-funded fertility services”.

Amber says she will not rest until the situation is better. “I will never forget how difficult it was, and I want to do everything I can to make sure others get the help I gave,” she says.